(no subject)
--"I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top"
--"I got to write these jokes. So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny."
--"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.""
--"I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth."
--"I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill..."
-- "I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy"
--"When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'"
--"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."
r.i.p. mitch hedberg. you made me laugh... silly man.
on a different note, i want a dateXedge shirt. how funny. heres their little slogan banner thing:
"of all the people you know and love or hate in your life, the one person who you are guaranteed to always have with you through thick and thin is yourself. datexedge, aka dXe, is built on the principle of making sure that you are cool with your most consistent company, i.e., yrself. dXe is not about hate, because those who reject the dXe life-style have built their own co-dependent prison that they are forced to live in.
at its core, dXe is a movement that rejects the idea that not dating is not normal. what's normal about constantly looking for someone else to make your life a better place to be? you were born alone, and while we hate to ruin the ending, yr gonna die that way too, kiddo. there's nothing wrong with being a make out bandit or getting hitched so your grandmother stops telling you that you're going to go to hell; dXe doesn't frown upon all interaction, just dating. dating is the enemy. dating is what wiped out the wooly mammoth. dating causes cancer and ruins strong bones and a white smile.
have you ever been gotten looks when you tell someone how long it's been since you had a special man or lady friend? rejected dating for marriage to someone who picks yr bacne for you and brushes their teeth while you pee? woken up next to someone and called them "baby" because you can't be bothered to remember their name? had to deal with a relative drunkenly asking if you're gay when, in fact, you are not? fuck it all! there is no shame in the independent lifestyle! you are datexedge and your life begins now!"
on a different different note, i love these men:
and i cannot wait til i get to see them at warped this summer. EEK.
my favorite song EVER is:
"My Favorite Accident"
I got the message long before you said you knew
There was no chance of us at all
With no velocity and empty-headed hard and far-too-long
I spent two years alone with you
Just when I thought I had forgotten
You came back soft without a sound
You said we were an accident
With accidents you’ll never know what could have been
So we were an accident
You’ll always be my favorite one
You hit the road and left me an ocean
I can't swim in the silence of your skin-skin please let me in
Side the times we never had right
Inside two years alone with you
You said we were an accident
With accidents you’ll never know what could have been
So we were an accident
You’ll always be my favorite one
we could have been
we could have been
instead of accidental running always running
why can’t you believe
Long winded promises of future company
Up close the sound remains the same
Without the reign of terror over every momentary change
We are exactly as before
You hit the road and left me an ocean
I can't swim in the silence of your skin-skin please let me in
Side the time I had to forget you
Inside no chance of us at all
<3<3<3
on a different different different note:
i love rob thomas and his new songs and everything about him. :)
im in such a good mood tonight. i washed my car, i saw my mom, i ate with mad and rene. life is okay.
except for that phone call. jeez, that really sucks. i never would have expected that.
but other than that, life is good.
--"I got to write these jokes. So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny."
--"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.""
--"I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth."
--"I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill..."
-- "I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy"
--"When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'"
--"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."
r.i.p. mitch hedberg. you made me laugh... silly man.
on a different note, i want a dateXedge shirt. how funny. heres their little slogan banner thing:
"of all the people you know and love or hate in your life, the one person who you are guaranteed to always have with you through thick and thin is yourself. datexedge, aka dXe, is built on the principle of making sure that you are cool with your most consistent company, i.e., yrself. dXe is not about hate, because those who reject the dXe life-style have built their own co-dependent prison that they are forced to live in.
at its core, dXe is a movement that rejects the idea that not dating is not normal. what's normal about constantly looking for someone else to make your life a better place to be? you were born alone, and while we hate to ruin the ending, yr gonna die that way too, kiddo. there's nothing wrong with being a make out bandit or getting hitched so your grandmother stops telling you that you're going to go to hell; dXe doesn't frown upon all interaction, just dating. dating is the enemy. dating is what wiped out the wooly mammoth. dating causes cancer and ruins strong bones and a white smile.
have you ever been gotten looks when you tell someone how long it's been since you had a special man or lady friend? rejected dating for marriage to someone who picks yr bacne for you and brushes their teeth while you pee? woken up next to someone and called them "baby" because you can't be bothered to remember their name? had to deal with a relative drunkenly asking if you're gay when, in fact, you are not? fuck it all! there is no shame in the independent lifestyle! you are datexedge and your life begins now!"
on a different different note, i love these men:
and i cannot wait til i get to see them at warped this summer. EEK.
my favorite song EVER is:
"My Favorite Accident"
I got the message long before you said you knew
There was no chance of us at all
With no velocity and empty-headed hard and far-too-long
I spent two years alone with you
Just when I thought I had forgotten
You came back soft without a sound
You said we were an accident
With accidents you’ll never know what could have been
So we were an accident
You’ll always be my favorite one
You hit the road and left me an ocean
I can't swim in the silence of your skin-skin please let me in
Side the times we never had right
Inside two years alone with you
You said we were an accident
With accidents you’ll never know what could have been
So we were an accident
You’ll always be my favorite one
we could have been
we could have been
instead of accidental running always running
why can’t you believe
Long winded promises of future company
Up close the sound remains the same
Without the reign of terror over every momentary change
We are exactly as before
You hit the road and left me an ocean
I can't swim in the silence of your skin-skin please let me in
Side the time I had to forget you
Inside no chance of us at all
<3<3<3
on a different different different note:
i love rob thomas and his new songs and everything about him. :)
im in such a good mood tonight. i washed my car, i saw my mom, i ate with mad and rene. life is okay.
except for that phone call. jeez, that really sucks. i never would have expected that.
but other than that, life is good.