Long awaited recap (sorry)
Aaron’s visit was awesome! I really got used to having him so close to me. We went out for Cathy’s b-day at The Park on Saturday night which a bunch of BBC & Wife Swap folks. Sunday we went shopping in Soho and had dinner at Patsy’s. Monday was Cathy’s actual b-day so we went out for dinner at Esperanzo which is this Brazilian tapas type place in Alphabet City. It was cute. Aaron and I had our first real big fight on Monday night but there is no need to relive it here. I learn a little bit more about myself and about him when things like that happen. It’s much easier to say I’m sorry when you love someone. Maybe it’s fear of ever losing them. Maybe it’s because you never want them to hurt. Tuesday night he met me after work and we walked home together. I loved it. In fact, I could really get used to that. We went home, rested for a bit and then went out for our date night. Up until then we had been running around and had not had any alone time. So, we went to Hunan Park (our Chinese place that we went to for his b-day) and talked about music and life. After dinner we went to Rockefeller Center to go up to Top of the Rock. It was chilly up there and of course I was wearing a skirt so I couldn’t spend too much time outside. The view was beautiful but my favorite will always be the Empire State Building. We went home and ended our lovely date night with the horror movie, Saw. What a great night indeed.
Wednesday night was the best. A few days prior to Aaron’s visit I found this singer on Itunes called Rosie Thomas and I downloaded of few of her songs, fell madly in love with her voice and when I checked her website I was pleased to find out she had a show in Hoboken, NJ which is only across the river. So, Aaron, Cathy, Carrie and I went to the show at Maxwell’s. Maxwell’s is actually a restaurant/bar with a small room in the back for live music. The stage was tiny and the room could probably only hold 100 people. We sat on the floor and waited for her to take the stage, had a couple drinks and listened to the other bands there. They weren’t bad either. She was this tiny woman who was wearing a vintage dress, white socks folded over at the ankle and black mary janes. Her speaking voice shocked me - she sounded like a 5 year old. We all just kind of looked at each other and thought - what the f*ck? The first song she sang wasn’t one that I knew but the lyrics made me feel as though Aaron and I were the only ones there and she was singing it just for us. We were seated, on the floor, Indian style like I did when I was a kid watching Paddington the Bear. He held my hand really tightly and I rested my head on his shoulder and cried. It was one of those, I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life moments. And really, those moments don’t come along that often. The song was called You and Me.
“You and me.
Me and you.
There’s so much that we’ve been through,
through it all I’ve come to understand Gods love.
And if tomorrow never comes
Know this twice, just know this once.
Knowing you has made me able to go on.
You and me
Me and you
There couldn’t be a better two,
To be blessed and know the meaning of true love…”
It was a late night and we didn’t get home until about 1am. The morning came way too soon and I decided at the last minute to take a personal day so we didn’t need to rush our good-bye this time. We went to brunch at Country Grille. The weather was perfect and the windows of the restaurant were completely open, letting all the fresh air in. I could not help but to continue to look at my watch. 2 hours left. 1 hour left. God, I hate that feeling. We went back home and I tried not to cry while I sat on my bed, watching him pack. He left more things this time. I gave him a drawer. Whoa! I walked him to the corner and we hailed a cab and then he was gone. I walked back home and cried my eyes out. I walked into my room and my phone was already vibrating. His text said, “I love you. I miss you. I win.” Two minutes later one from Cathy came telling me it would be ok. I walked down to her office to meet her for milkshakes and a hug.
That following Monday when our normal lives resumed Aaron called me in the morning unhappy about the distance, questioning what we need to do to close the gap between us. And we started discussing our options. Who will move where. The pros and cons. The sacrifices. All of our fears. How happy we will be when we are near one another. Our Plan A & Plan B has since changed several times. I’m so confused at this point. I find myself unsure about just about everything aside from the fact that I love this boy and if being together meant leaving New York and moving to a city outside of Wichita, Kansas - I’d do it.
I’m really worried about my sister these days. Her and Dave (my brother in law) are still working on their marriage while my sister sits, in limbo in Las Vegas and Dave sorts out his job in Portland and whether or not he’ll leave Portland or my sister will return to Vegas. In the meantime, Brittney is struggling to find herself. As if being a teenager isn’t tough enough, now she is 1000 miles from all of her friends. I hope she knows that she can come to me for anything!!! What the hell?! Why are things so complicated all the sudden for us? Why can’t I fix things for the people I love?
Cam has also been heavy on my mind these days. As most of you know, she was accepted to Cornell for Law school (in upstate NY) and decided that is where she will go. She flew out there, found her apartment, put her deposit down on school and her apartment and then a week or so later, she was accepted to UCLA. And then a couple days after that, UCLA offered her a nice grant. Decisions. Decisions. Selfishly I want her near me but then again I don’t know where I’ll be in a year either.
The weather has been pretty crappy. Any sign of sunshine and I’m outside, walking around in it trying to feel the sun on my skin. I am going to Cabo in a month with a bunch of my USAA pals and I can’t wait to be on the beach without a care in the world while I turn golden brown. Aaron bought me the book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven while he was here. I’ve mentioned my inability to complete a book before but he is convinced it will change my life so I’m going to give it a shot. If I don’t finish it before Cabo I am going to bring it with me and complete it there. Who knows…maybe I’ll need more than 1 book. Any suggestions?
I think that is really all I have for now. Hope everyone is happy and healthy. I really miss you all. In fact, more than you will ever know.
Wednesday night was the best. A few days prior to Aaron’s visit I found this singer on Itunes called Rosie Thomas and I downloaded of few of her songs, fell madly in love with her voice and when I checked her website I was pleased to find out she had a show in Hoboken, NJ which is only across the river. So, Aaron, Cathy, Carrie and I went to the show at Maxwell’s. Maxwell’s is actually a restaurant/bar with a small room in the back for live music. The stage was tiny and the room could probably only hold 100 people. We sat on the floor and waited for her to take the stage, had a couple drinks and listened to the other bands there. They weren’t bad either. She was this tiny woman who was wearing a vintage dress, white socks folded over at the ankle and black mary janes. Her speaking voice shocked me - she sounded like a 5 year old. We all just kind of looked at each other and thought - what the f*ck? The first song she sang wasn’t one that I knew but the lyrics made me feel as though Aaron and I were the only ones there and she was singing it just for us. We were seated, on the floor, Indian style like I did when I was a kid watching Paddington the Bear. He held my hand really tightly and I rested my head on his shoulder and cried. It was one of those, I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life moments. And really, those moments don’t come along that often. The song was called You and Me.
“You and me.
Me and you.
There’s so much that we’ve been through,
through it all I’ve come to understand Gods love.
And if tomorrow never comes
Know this twice, just know this once.
Knowing you has made me able to go on.
You and me
Me and you
There couldn’t be a better two,
To be blessed and know the meaning of true love…”
It was a late night and we didn’t get home until about 1am. The morning came way too soon and I decided at the last minute to take a personal day so we didn’t need to rush our good-bye this time. We went to brunch at Country Grille. The weather was perfect and the windows of the restaurant were completely open, letting all the fresh air in. I could not help but to continue to look at my watch. 2 hours left. 1 hour left. God, I hate that feeling. We went back home and I tried not to cry while I sat on my bed, watching him pack. He left more things this time. I gave him a drawer. Whoa! I walked him to the corner and we hailed a cab and then he was gone. I walked back home and cried my eyes out. I walked into my room and my phone was already vibrating. His text said, “I love you. I miss you. I win.” Two minutes later one from Cathy came telling me it would be ok. I walked down to her office to meet her for milkshakes and a hug.
That following Monday when our normal lives resumed Aaron called me in the morning unhappy about the distance, questioning what we need to do to close the gap between us. And we started discussing our options. Who will move where. The pros and cons. The sacrifices. All of our fears. How happy we will be when we are near one another. Our Plan A & Plan B has since changed several times. I’m so confused at this point. I find myself unsure about just about everything aside from the fact that I love this boy and if being together meant leaving New York and moving to a city outside of Wichita, Kansas - I’d do it.
I’m really worried about my sister these days. Her and Dave (my brother in law) are still working on their marriage while my sister sits, in limbo in Las Vegas and Dave sorts out his job in Portland and whether or not he’ll leave Portland or my sister will return to Vegas. In the meantime, Brittney is struggling to find herself. As if being a teenager isn’t tough enough, now she is 1000 miles from all of her friends. I hope she knows that she can come to me for anything!!! What the hell?! Why are things so complicated all the sudden for us? Why can’t I fix things for the people I love?
Cam has also been heavy on my mind these days. As most of you know, she was accepted to Cornell for Law school (in upstate NY) and decided that is where she will go. She flew out there, found her apartment, put her deposit down on school and her apartment and then a week or so later, she was accepted to UCLA. And then a couple days after that, UCLA offered her a nice grant. Decisions. Decisions. Selfishly I want her near me but then again I don’t know where I’ll be in a year either.
The weather has been pretty crappy. Any sign of sunshine and I’m outside, walking around in it trying to feel the sun on my skin. I am going to Cabo in a month with a bunch of my USAA pals and I can’t wait to be on the beach without a care in the world while I turn golden brown. Aaron bought me the book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven while he was here. I’ve mentioned my inability to complete a book before but he is convinced it will change my life so I’m going to give it a shot. If I don’t finish it before Cabo I am going to bring it with me and complete it there. Who knows…maybe I’ll need more than 1 book. Any suggestions?
I think that is really all I have for now. Hope everyone is happy and healthy. I really miss you all. In fact, more than you will ever know.