back from a shallow grave
And you all thought I was dead and gone.... Well, I'ts been a while since I've updated or really even been on the computer much at all. In fact I don't even know if I have a valid email address. But hey, who's keeping track anyway? So I just got back from St. Louis. I had to pay my final respects to my father's father... the greatest, most loving and unselfish man to walk the earth since Jesus himself; and this is not an overstatement. I mean what I just said with the greatest of sincerity. I had never attended a viewing or a funeral until his. I was thrown right in the middle of it and I am honored to have been a pall bearer (I carried the casket) with my brothers and my cousin scot. It's funny, the mixture of emotions that a funeral brings. One minute I'm crying, the next I'm smiling and laughing with my eyes still red and my cheeks still wet. I had no shame about crying in front of those I didn't know because I knew that they all understood, because they had all known my grandfather and what a great man he was. Most of the tears I cried were triggered by my grandmother. I stood by as my father and uncle held her hand and comforted her as she said her final goodbyes just before the final ceremony. "Goodbye Kerm (his name was Kermit) You were so good to me. You were so good to me. Now you're with the angels. You were so good to me.' then she hugged him and said through tear and grief-sticken eyes, 'You're so cold. He's so cold." I will never forget that moment. I will never forget those words. And yes, he was cold. I felt his hands and his face the night before at the viewing. Once everyone else had left the funeral home I went back in to pay my respects one on one to my grandfather. I felt it was my right since I am the youngest grandson and the last chance at passing on the family name if all else fails. In that moment I had a greater understanding of my grandfather and the legacy he had built and left. He was an honest man, a man of his word, a devout christian who let God handle his problems. He was a giver and never asked for anything in return. He had to quit school after 8th grade to take care of his 8 or 9 younger siblings and until his dying day they all still went to him for advice. My grandfather was a rock tha tcould be leaned upon. I only hope that one day I will find myself to be half the man that he was. He fell on his 89th birthday, smashed his face on a bench and suffered bleeding on his brain. He died 2 days later in no pain. He was in excellent health and it was just an accident, one stumble and his life was over. It's how God intended it to be. This whole situation has retriggered at least some kind of faith in me. It all showed how fair God can be. My grandfather lived a long and happy life and died without suffering. I will never forget his smile and his laugh. Rest in Peace Grandpa. Kermit Edward Hollrah. ***************************
on with other news...... I'm going to Orlando to begin school at Full Sail Academy on October 20th. This puts me in a strange predicament. I've basically cut all musical connections with people I know here because I know I'm moving away. Starting anything new seems almost pointless seeing as how I'm just going to leave anyway, but I'm getting restless. I can't decide if I should just play around with some poeple and see what happens....I mean shoot, Orlando is a way better place to get seen and get recognition than Jacksonville. So hey, maybe I could get something going and see if people would wanna go down there. THere are more clubs that are closer together....bigger venues, House of Blues, Hard Rock, and there are more people in a smaller area....so traffic's a bitch...so what, it's worth the exposure. Maybe I'll call up A Future Lost and see if they're down for moving...none of them have anything going for them in jax. And everytime I see them at a show or someone who knows them they always tell me they want me back...and those guys are good...all they need is exposure. who knows. ********* Oh yeah and I tore my MCL in some little punk ass pit at my buddy's show sat night....so I'm getting an MRI tomorrow morning to see if I need surgery. immobility and crutches are a biotch. All you kiddies avoid injury at all cost. HAHAHAHA. it is ironic though....I play sports my whole life, football for two years and I blow my knee out dancing...hahaha, what a pussy. WORD. Maybe I'll update again in another year or so. Later.
on with other news...... I'm going to Orlando to begin school at Full Sail Academy on October 20th. This puts me in a strange predicament. I've basically cut all musical connections with people I know here because I know I'm moving away. Starting anything new seems almost pointless seeing as how I'm just going to leave anyway, but I'm getting restless. I can't decide if I should just play around with some poeple and see what happens....I mean shoot, Orlando is a way better place to get seen and get recognition than Jacksonville. So hey, maybe I could get something going and see if people would wanna go down there. THere are more clubs that are closer together....bigger venues, House of Blues, Hard Rock, and there are more people in a smaller area....so traffic's a bitch...so what, it's worth the exposure. Maybe I'll call up A Future Lost and see if they're down for moving...none of them have anything going for them in jax. And everytime I see them at a show or someone who knows them they always tell me they want me back...and those guys are good...all they need is exposure. who knows. ********* Oh yeah and I tore my MCL in some little punk ass pit at my buddy's show sat night....so I'm getting an MRI tomorrow morning to see if I need surgery. immobility and crutches are a biotch. All you kiddies avoid injury at all cost. HAHAHAHA. it is ironic though....I play sports my whole life, football for two years and I blow my knee out dancing...hahaha, what a pussy. WORD. Maybe I'll update again in another year or so. Later.