Fic: When You Hold A Flame (Vol 2: Track 8)
Series: When You Hold A Flame
Title: Not Your Concern
Pairing,Character(s): Dave Karofsky/Kurt Hummel
Rating: G
Word Count: 925
Spoilers: Through 2x08.
Warnings: None, actually.
Previous Chapters: HERE
Summary: It was painful, actually physically painful. He hadn’t expected that.
How can you dream in the doorway without ever going in?
How can you dream in the doorway, without making excuses and drawing conclusions, you’re at it again.
I am not your concern, the world will still turn when I’m not around.
Rely on me and you’ll fall, back’s up to the wall,
Someone let me out.
It was painful, actually physically painful. He hadn’t expected that. But having to take his entire closet full of fabulous clothing and whittle it down to just a few key outfits was making his chest ache, and it was taking long enough that his dad and Carole had already given up on him and gone to bed. The closets in the dorm rooms at Dalton weren’t as big as what he was used to, and he’d need most of that space for the uniforms he’d be wearing every day. And if Blaine was any indication, it was common practice to wear the uniform everywhere, even off-campus, not just to class. He couldn’t bear to leave everything behind, even if he wasn’t sure he’d ever get a chance to wear it, but he’d have to pack light. And that was not something Kurt Hummel was used to doing.
The look on Mercedes’ face had been the worst. He could take Finn’s indignation that he hadn’t been consulted, and Rachel’s expectedly selfish horror that he’d be competing against them, and Mr. Shue’s stunned shock. He could take all that. But that crushed expression, the pain in her eyes, had been the last straw, and he’d fled.
He couldn’t stay. Surely they could see that. Not when Karofsky was coming back. If the school board had reversed his expulsion, it meant they had no intention of putting a stop to the homophobia, and now that he’d gotten teachers involved, he figured things could only get worse. Rather than openly tormenting him in the halls, Karofsky would have to act in stealth, and as frightening as he was in public, Kurt didn’t want to think about what it would be like if he caught Kurt alone. His secret was simmering dangerously close to the surface, and Kurt did not want to be around if, Gaga forbid, it got out. No, he had to leave. At Dalton, he could be safe. At Dalton, he would have Blaine. And he could still come home on weekends and see everyone he cared about that was here. It was a good idea.
And yet, a part of him thought it was a bad idea. Probably a monumentally stupid part, to be honest, because this was the best decision he could make right now and he knew it. But something about the thought of leaving Karofsky here, alone, didn’t sit right. He remembered how lonely it had felt, before he came out. Even though everyone seemed to know anyway, even though his father had known all along, that feeling of cold dread at the thought of his secret coming out before he was ready…even now, over a year later, it gave him shivers to think of it.
How much worse was it for Karofsky? From what he remembered of Karofsky’s dad, memories that had been brought to the surface in their meeting in Coach Sylvester’s office, he wasn’t exactly the warmest guy. He remembered from when they were kids, how even though Mr. Karofsky never seemed to be mean, exactly, Davey would always tense up when his dad was around. It had seemed weird at the time...he wasn’t afraid of his dad, why was David afraid of his? But now that he was older it made more sense. Through the whole meeting the other day, Karofsky had looked so nervous, sideways glances at his father, like he was tensing himself for things to explode at any minute, and yet Mr. Karofsky had seemed so calm and collected. It was strange. He didn’t know what to make of it.
But he couldn’t keep thinking like this. Karofsky had tormented him, had threatened his life. It would be stupid of Kurt to be concerned about his needs without first taking care of his own. He finally finished selecting his clothes to take to Dalton, and threw in the socks and underwear that he’d already taken out of his drawers. His bag of miscellaneous other items was already packed, and there was only one thing left. He picked up an empty picture frame off his desk, and headed downstairs to get the picture he knew he would want to have.
When he got down to the living room, Kurt reached up to the shelf next to the TV, and took out the photo album. In the back were some unmounted photos, and he knew there was one in here of him with his parents, just before Mom had died. It didn’t take him long to find it, but as he pulled it out of the pocket at the back, he was drawn to turn the last page back. There, again, was the photo from his birthday party. The photo with Davey. He felt a twinge in his chest, and for a moment he ached. That boy was still in there, somewhere, and he was hurting…he had to be.
The thoughts he’d had earlier started to drift back into his head, but again, the rational part of his brain squashed them. He had to stop thinking of Karofsky as a victim in all this. He wasn’t. Kurt was. Karofsky was a bully and a homophobe, and being gay didn’t excuse that; he had made his decisions and he would have to live with them. But now, Kurt would leave, and neither of them would have to deal with the other anymore. He wouldn’t be Karofsky’s concern, and Karofsky wouldn’t be his.
Karofsky would have to come to terms with his sexuality on his own.
Just like Kurt had.
End: Volume 2 - Revelation
Volume 2 Download: HERE
Title: Not Your Concern
Pairing,Character(s): Dave Karofsky/Kurt Hummel
Rating: G
Word Count: 925
Spoilers: Through 2x08.
Warnings: None, actually.
Previous Chapters: HERE
Summary: It was painful, actually physically painful. He hadn’t expected that.
How can you dream in the doorway without ever going in?
How can you dream in the doorway, without making excuses and drawing conclusions, you’re at it again.
I am not your concern, the world will still turn when I’m not around.
Rely on me and you’ll fall, back’s up to the wall,
Someone let me out.
It was painful, actually physically painful. He hadn’t expected that. But having to take his entire closet full of fabulous clothing and whittle it down to just a few key outfits was making his chest ache, and it was taking long enough that his dad and Carole had already given up on him and gone to bed. The closets in the dorm rooms at Dalton weren’t as big as what he was used to, and he’d need most of that space for the uniforms he’d be wearing every day. And if Blaine was any indication, it was common practice to wear the uniform everywhere, even off-campus, not just to class. He couldn’t bear to leave everything behind, even if he wasn’t sure he’d ever get a chance to wear it, but he’d have to pack light. And that was not something Kurt Hummel was used to doing.
The look on Mercedes’ face had been the worst. He could take Finn’s indignation that he hadn’t been consulted, and Rachel’s expectedly selfish horror that he’d be competing against them, and Mr. Shue’s stunned shock. He could take all that. But that crushed expression, the pain in her eyes, had been the last straw, and he’d fled.
He couldn’t stay. Surely they could see that. Not when Karofsky was coming back. If the school board had reversed his expulsion, it meant they had no intention of putting a stop to the homophobia, and now that he’d gotten teachers involved, he figured things could only get worse. Rather than openly tormenting him in the halls, Karofsky would have to act in stealth, and as frightening as he was in public, Kurt didn’t want to think about what it would be like if he caught Kurt alone. His secret was simmering dangerously close to the surface, and Kurt did not want to be around if, Gaga forbid, it got out. No, he had to leave. At Dalton, he could be safe. At Dalton, he would have Blaine. And he could still come home on weekends and see everyone he cared about that was here. It was a good idea.
And yet, a part of him thought it was a bad idea. Probably a monumentally stupid part, to be honest, because this was the best decision he could make right now and he knew it. But something about the thought of leaving Karofsky here, alone, didn’t sit right. He remembered how lonely it had felt, before he came out. Even though everyone seemed to know anyway, even though his father had known all along, that feeling of cold dread at the thought of his secret coming out before he was ready…even now, over a year later, it gave him shivers to think of it.
How much worse was it for Karofsky? From what he remembered of Karofsky’s dad, memories that had been brought to the surface in their meeting in Coach Sylvester’s office, he wasn’t exactly the warmest guy. He remembered from when they were kids, how even though Mr. Karofsky never seemed to be mean, exactly, Davey would always tense up when his dad was around. It had seemed weird at the time...he wasn’t afraid of his dad, why was David afraid of his? But now that he was older it made more sense. Through the whole meeting the other day, Karofsky had looked so nervous, sideways glances at his father, like he was tensing himself for things to explode at any minute, and yet Mr. Karofsky had seemed so calm and collected. It was strange. He didn’t know what to make of it.
But he couldn’t keep thinking like this. Karofsky had tormented him, had threatened his life. It would be stupid of Kurt to be concerned about his needs without first taking care of his own. He finally finished selecting his clothes to take to Dalton, and threw in the socks and underwear that he’d already taken out of his drawers. His bag of miscellaneous other items was already packed, and there was only one thing left. He picked up an empty picture frame off his desk, and headed downstairs to get the picture he knew he would want to have.
When he got down to the living room, Kurt reached up to the shelf next to the TV, and took out the photo album. In the back were some unmounted photos, and he knew there was one in here of him with his parents, just before Mom had died. It didn’t take him long to find it, but as he pulled it out of the pocket at the back, he was drawn to turn the last page back. There, again, was the photo from his birthday party. The photo with Davey. He felt a twinge in his chest, and for a moment he ached. That boy was still in there, somewhere, and he was hurting…he had to be.
The thoughts he’d had earlier started to drift back into his head, but again, the rational part of his brain squashed them. He had to stop thinking of Karofsky as a victim in all this. He wasn’t. Kurt was. Karofsky was a bully and a homophobe, and being gay didn’t excuse that; he had made his decisions and he would have to live with them. But now, Kurt would leave, and neither of them would have to deal with the other anymore. He wouldn’t be Karofsky’s concern, and Karofsky wouldn’t be his.
Karofsky would have to come to terms with his sexuality on his own.
Just like Kurt had.
End: Volume 2 - Revelation
Volume 2 Download: HERE