(no subject)
i got into a huge fight with my mom. most people know already so i wont go into detail really. it was the worst fight we've had in a long time though. she screamed at me, and she screamed at morgan for sticking up for me. it made me sick. so i decided to move out. i even started packing my bags. and i called jamie to ask for a place to stay for a few days untill i could figure things out. so morgan called my dad because i told her i was leaving. my mom yelled at me some more, then she yelled at morgan for crying to her daddy. (morgain said thats what my mom said) and so my mind was set that i was leaving, then my dad called and asked me not to go and to wait untill morning to think things over when i wasnt so emotional. later that night morgan came in my room crying and said a girl at her school fights with her mom like i fight with my moma nd she tried to kill herself like 4 times. she told me she didnt want me to die. she also told me taht my mom apologized to her and said the reason she was yelling at me was because her and my dad were fighting a lot. i still wanted out for the next few days though. to be honest i still do. and really part of the only reason i'm still here is that i know i cant support myself financially. rent for a decent/nice appartment is at least 400. plus i dont have a car. which hopefully i will soon. parker isnt going to afghanistan anymore, which is great. but now i prolly wont get his car. so i've been looking into some. he (parker) told me he was trying to work something out for me because he knows it sucks not having a car. i'm not really all that close to him, but i love him.
my 2 years with nathan is coming up at the end of this month. and i'd like to do something super special for him or just something so that he knows how much i love him. sometimes i think people dont take us as seriously as we are. i've been thinking alot about where i'm going to end up going to college. and i know that there are tons of schools in california and new york and everywhere else that i would love to go to. but nathan is going to end up in austin because thats where obbie is going to school and so the rest of deus machina is moving there too. and i dont know. i just dont want to be anywhere that he isnt. there are some schools in texas with good photo programs so i'm staying in texas for sure.
friday i went to bed so early. it was nice. after nathan left around 7:30 for practice i was going to take a nap and then call ben. but i ended up sleeping untill dad came home and i had a taco fest. (around midnignt) saturday i spent with nathan. we went to barnes and noble, layed around at home which has to be my favorite thing in the world to do. i just love laying around with him watching tv and talking, just being able to hold him and look into his eyes and kiss him without feeling like i'm being rude to the other people around us. anyways we went to dinner with my mom and sister. and brendan called and asked if jamie and i wanted to go over to his house. i said i wanted to. so after dinner i took nathan back to his house and stayed there for a while. then i came home but i left my cell phone at nathans house and my mom said she didnt want me to go anywhere else. which was a bu mmer cause we were going to wrap janas house for her birthday. and today was spent laying at home and napping with my baby girl...(my cat) and watching general confrence. actually listening to it really. i napped through parts of that too. i did make pancakes this morning and put bannanas and strawberries on them. and whipped cream. it was a good breakfast.
my 2 years with nathan is coming up at the end of this month. and i'd like to do something super special for him or just something so that he knows how much i love him. sometimes i think people dont take us as seriously as we are. i've been thinking alot about where i'm going to end up going to college. and i know that there are tons of schools in california and new york and everywhere else that i would love to go to. but nathan is going to end up in austin because thats where obbie is going to school and so the rest of deus machina is moving there too. and i dont know. i just dont want to be anywhere that he isnt. there are some schools in texas with good photo programs so i'm staying in texas for sure.
friday i went to bed so early. it was nice. after nathan left around 7:30 for practice i was going to take a nap and then call ben. but i ended up sleeping untill dad came home and i had a taco fest. (around midnignt) saturday i spent with nathan. we went to barnes and noble, layed around at home which has to be my favorite thing in the world to do. i just love laying around with him watching tv and talking, just being able to hold him and look into his eyes and kiss him without feeling like i'm being rude to the other people around us. anyways we went to dinner with my mom and sister. and brendan called and asked if jamie and i wanted to go over to his house. i said i wanted to. so after dinner i took nathan back to his house and stayed there for a while. then i came home but i left my cell phone at nathans house and my mom said she didnt want me to go anywhere else. which was a bu mmer cause we were going to wrap janas house for her birthday. and today was spent laying at home and napping with my baby girl...(my cat) and watching general confrence. actually listening to it really. i napped through parts of that too. i did make pancakes this morning and put bannanas and strawberries on them. and whipped cream. it was a good breakfast.