I think I woke up screaming/I had a dream that you still loved me/I think I woke up screaming
October 29th,
It’s been four days. We still haven’t found her, and we’ve been searching from sun up to sun down. I think Head Master John is going to give up the search. I’m beginning to think it’s hopeless to find her anymore now. At least alive.
October 30th,
I was right. We stopped looking. Today we started again on exercises. We didn’t do the run and capture game today though. It was strictly working out. Megan still hasn’t gotten better from her time with Marco, and now Lizzy is starting to act strange. I think it’s because of our new exercise routine. It’s so hard and the movements they’re putting us in, are strange. We were put in the gym to do this too. It feels like it’s over a hundred in there. All of us took off our shirts and wore our little gray shorts. They are so skimpy on the girls it seems like it’s just underwear. The guys seemed to leer at us throughout. I know it was bothering Lizzy. When it was over and we were free to return to our barracks, she dressed quickly and practically ran the two miles to the freshman quarters. This is beginning to bother me now. It seems they are targeting the girls’ fears, but they couldn’t have known them. Unless....
December 20th,
I think I was right. Two weeks ago, Jenny was sent into solitary confinement. They pulled her out yesterday when it started to smell. Somehow she got a hold of something sharp, and slit her wrists to get out of the dark.
Megan has been put on patrol with Marco and several other men. Each evening when she gets back she seems to have lost another bit of herself. The same is for Lizzy. She is being forced to do those strange exercises in the gym with ten other men. I’m on patrol with Jordan. For some reason it’s just the two of us. It’s starting to worry me. Each time we are alone together I just start liking him more and more. Today, while walking up the mountain trail, I slipped. He tried to catch me, but lost his balance as well. We rolled down together and he landed on top of me. I don’t know who it was that started it, but, we kissed. Not just the little peck kisses, but a full-blown kiss. We laid together like that for, it seemed like hours. I stopped him as his hand worked its way under my shirt. I hope we won’t be put on patrol together tomorrow. I don’t know what I’ll do.
December 21st,
The first snows hit us today. I was surprised it took so long being in the mountains. But we’ve been having unusual weather this year. There were no patrols today. Just exercises. We were all put doing the strange work out Lizzy’s been doing for the past two weeks. I don’t understand why they make it so hot in there. They pulled Lizzy to the front. She was told to show us how to do it. She was put on the stage, half dressed and showed us. I was sickened at the sight. This was not an exercise. It was a dance. An erotic dance. The men were enjoying themselves considerably, cat calling and hooting. Lizzy tried to leave, but the sergeant there kept her up there. Whipping her for trying to leave. I was so angry. I looked around at the men, contempt building my fury at them when I noticed Jordan. He stood there, his eyes down, his fists clenched. He was angry as well. That cooled me down. I need to stay away from him. He’s the only one I fear now. Is he doing this because he feels, or is he the most sadistic one in the bunch?
December 22nd,
I can’t say I’m surprised, or shocked. Lizzy is another body we are sending home. Last night she ran off after lights out. Megan and Marco’s group found her at the bottom of a ravine. She was naked and it looked like a suicide. Assisted by these monsters. There’s just two of us left. And I don’t know how much longer Megan is going to keep herself alive. They are doing something. They are trying to kill us. One by one, and after Megan it’s me. But Sadie Mitchell is not a quitter. She is not weak. She will not fall into their scheme. I will survive. And I will make them pay. For Lizzy and Megan and Mary and Jenny and Jessica. And me...
December 24th,
I’m sure Megan’s parents weren’t expecting the Christmas present they’ll be getting this year. The remains of their only child boxed up in mahogany so lovely. Apparently she pulled Marco’s knife during one of their patrols. He tried to take it from her, but she resisted. There was a scuffle, he got cut and she got his knife in her chest. I know that’s not how it happened. He killed her. She might have pulled a knife. But it was to defend herself against that bastard. Oh I will get him, and his pack of little henchmen. It just seems so lucky for them that I have no one to tell this too. No one but this little book. I’m sure when they get me this book will be lost and no one will know the truth, but my only consolation is I’m not going with out a fight. They’ll have to work for their victory over me. And it won’t be an easy fight. I’ll make damn sure of it.
It’s been four days. We still haven’t found her, and we’ve been searching from sun up to sun down. I think Head Master John is going to give up the search. I’m beginning to think it’s hopeless to find her anymore now. At least alive.
October 30th,
I was right. We stopped looking. Today we started again on exercises. We didn’t do the run and capture game today though. It was strictly working out. Megan still hasn’t gotten better from her time with Marco, and now Lizzy is starting to act strange. I think it’s because of our new exercise routine. It’s so hard and the movements they’re putting us in, are strange. We were put in the gym to do this too. It feels like it’s over a hundred in there. All of us took off our shirts and wore our little gray shorts. They are so skimpy on the girls it seems like it’s just underwear. The guys seemed to leer at us throughout. I know it was bothering Lizzy. When it was over and we were free to return to our barracks, she dressed quickly and practically ran the two miles to the freshman quarters. This is beginning to bother me now. It seems they are targeting the girls’ fears, but they couldn’t have known them. Unless....
December 20th,
I think I was right. Two weeks ago, Jenny was sent into solitary confinement. They pulled her out yesterday when it started to smell. Somehow she got a hold of something sharp, and slit her wrists to get out of the dark.
Megan has been put on patrol with Marco and several other men. Each evening when she gets back she seems to have lost another bit of herself. The same is for Lizzy. She is being forced to do those strange exercises in the gym with ten other men. I’m on patrol with Jordan. For some reason it’s just the two of us. It’s starting to worry me. Each time we are alone together I just start liking him more and more. Today, while walking up the mountain trail, I slipped. He tried to catch me, but lost his balance as well. We rolled down together and he landed on top of me. I don’t know who it was that started it, but, we kissed. Not just the little peck kisses, but a full-blown kiss. We laid together like that for, it seemed like hours. I stopped him as his hand worked its way under my shirt. I hope we won’t be put on patrol together tomorrow. I don’t know what I’ll do.
December 21st,
The first snows hit us today. I was surprised it took so long being in the mountains. But we’ve been having unusual weather this year. There were no patrols today. Just exercises. We were all put doing the strange work out Lizzy’s been doing for the past two weeks. I don’t understand why they make it so hot in there. They pulled Lizzy to the front. She was told to show us how to do it. She was put on the stage, half dressed and showed us. I was sickened at the sight. This was not an exercise. It was a dance. An erotic dance. The men were enjoying themselves considerably, cat calling and hooting. Lizzy tried to leave, but the sergeant there kept her up there. Whipping her for trying to leave. I was so angry. I looked around at the men, contempt building my fury at them when I noticed Jordan. He stood there, his eyes down, his fists clenched. He was angry as well. That cooled me down. I need to stay away from him. He’s the only one I fear now. Is he doing this because he feels, or is he the most sadistic one in the bunch?
December 22nd,
I can’t say I’m surprised, or shocked. Lizzy is another body we are sending home. Last night she ran off after lights out. Megan and Marco’s group found her at the bottom of a ravine. She was naked and it looked like a suicide. Assisted by these monsters. There’s just two of us left. And I don’t know how much longer Megan is going to keep herself alive. They are doing something. They are trying to kill us. One by one, and after Megan it’s me. But Sadie Mitchell is not a quitter. She is not weak. She will not fall into their scheme. I will survive. And I will make them pay. For Lizzy and Megan and Mary and Jenny and Jessica. And me...
December 24th,
I’m sure Megan’s parents weren’t expecting the Christmas present they’ll be getting this year. The remains of their only child boxed up in mahogany so lovely. Apparently she pulled Marco’s knife during one of their patrols. He tried to take it from her, but she resisted. There was a scuffle, he got cut and she got his knife in her chest. I know that’s not how it happened. He killed her. She might have pulled a knife. But it was to defend herself against that bastard. Oh I will get him, and his pack of little henchmen. It just seems so lucky for them that I have no one to tell this too. No one but this little book. I’m sure when they get me this book will be lost and no one will know the truth, but my only consolation is I’m not going with out a fight. They’ll have to work for their victory over me. And it won’t be an easy fight. I’ll make damn sure of it.