Talking in a comment to digdigil about the song "You Are My Sunshine" made me think about my uncle Wodie. And thinking about my uncle Wodie made me realize that he's been gone for ten years, yesterday.
Yes, he was certainly my cookie person--I really like that!--and just about every good thing that I see about how I treat other people, I trace back to him and his selflessness and generosity. The tenth anniversary of his death is something that has been in the back of my thoughts for months now, and I wanted to honor him with a few words in my LJ to thank him...it might be ten years too late, but who knows....
I still remember that last night vividly as well, hugging you and crying into your Parkville band jacket, and him in the bed, struggling on the edge of something it would take years for me to fully understand the gravity of.
I never thanked him either, but I too fondly remember him sitting at the table reading his paper, wearing his headphones that he forgot to plug in, calling Sunnie (sitting in the corner) a bastard while he secretly fed her.
I... don't know. :-/ The image of him in the bed is one of the most haunting moments of my life, but since I hadn't been visiting him regularly at "the home", I am glad that I had that final moment where I was there, even if he wasn't awake to see it.
I only wish the realisation of my assanine-ness had hit me sooner so I didn't need that final moment like I do. *Shrug*
Uncle Wodie would open my door while I was reading or writing and place on the corner of my desk a Hershey's miniature. He'd never say anything, just leave it there and close the door.
I made the mistake of going to the hospital to see him, the night before he died, and I wish I hadn't because I will remember that forever, and the memory is such that I will never put it into words. I never could. I would never want to.
My eyes are too dry to be tearful right now (damn contacts), but my heart gave a painful little wrench because I know what exactly what you mean.
A few nights before my grandmother died, I went to see her in the nursing home with my mom. I didn't want to: it was bad enough watching her mind go little by little over the past five or six years, and by larger chunks in the past two. I hadn't seen her in a few months; she hadn't recognized me for a long time, and I didn't want to face her now that she couldn't talk, move, or eat (essentially catatonia).
It was a terrible image, and the person in the bed was not my grandmother. I wish I could forget it completely
( ... )
Likewise, uncle Wodie started having small brain hemorrhages and began to deteriorate and be less himself. We only found out when he crashed his car into an embankment because he hadn't realized that the road had turned.
I wish I hadn't had my last memory of uncle Wodie being unconscious in the hospital...but apparently, my sister needed to see him for closure, so I'm glad I could have been there for her if nothing else.
*hugs back* Thanks for all your kind words and for understanding. :)
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy, when skies are gray You'll never know, dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away
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Yes, he was certainly my cookie person--I really like that!--and just about every good thing that I see about how I treat other people, I trace back to him and his selflessness and generosity. The tenth anniversary of his death is something that has been in the back of my thoughts for months now, and I wanted to honor him with a few words in my LJ to thank him...it might be ten years too late, but who knows....
Thank you for reading and *hugs back* :)
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I never thanked him either, but I too fondly remember him sitting at the table reading his paper, wearing his headphones that he forgot to plug in, calling Sunnie (sitting in the corner) a bastard while he secretly fed her.
:-)
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Do you wish you hadn't gone that night? I do.
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I only wish the realisation of my assanine-ness had hit me sooner so I didn't need that final moment like I do. *Shrug*
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That. Is so awesome.
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My eyes are too dry to be tearful right now (damn contacts), but my heart gave a painful little wrench because I know what exactly what you mean.
A few nights before my grandmother died, I went to see her in the nursing home with my mom. I didn't want to: it was bad enough watching her mind go little by little over the past five or six years, and by larger chunks in the past two. I hadn't seen her in a few months; she hadn't recognized me for a long time, and I didn't want to face her now that she couldn't talk, move, or eat (essentially catatonia).
It was a terrible image, and the person in the bed was not my grandmother. I wish I could forget it completely ( ... )
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I wish I hadn't had my last memory of uncle Wodie being unconscious in the hospital...but apparently, my sister needed to see him for closure, so I'm glad I could have been there for her if nothing else.
*hugs back* Thanks for all your kind words and for understanding. :)
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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
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You made me well up with that song. It still works, apparently. :)
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