To make up for my earlier memesheepish behavior, here is an attempt to be thoughtful and certainly some heartfelt rambling that is *all me
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Reason tells me that all of this is right, but that doesn't keep my nerves from becoming all frazzled before.
That's exactly how I feel too. I can pick apart my stories like I would pick apart a story that I was reading for beta and identify the things that I do well: Characters are usually well done, imagery is decent, for example. But there's always that one flaw or that one way in which I think it could be better. I could have ten spot-on metaphors and one that's shaky, and the shaky one would define how I feel about the story. Hence my mixed feelings about the early chapters of AMC: they are less clean than the later chapters, and I was doing some pretty weird metaphorical experiments!
This may sound now, as if I would write mostly for others, which is certainly not the case, but I simply like sharing what I did, sooner or later.
I didn't mean to sound disparaging about writing for others versus writing for oneself. Some of my stories--gift fics, for example--are clearly written for others. Other gift fics were inspired by others, written for myself, and shared nonetheless! I find it interesting, though, how different people approach posting. Some will post the moment they finish a story; others (me) will take months if not pushed. Some require thorough beta'ing; others (me again) generally post before finding a beta.
I might liken it to jumping into cold water while still running...or standing on the edge for hours, toeing the water and imagining how cold it's going to be. The latter one is definitely me!
I do find that my enthusiasm for a story wanes after it's written, so perhaps it would be best to post faster. Or perhaps not, as I'd risk being disappointed by bad reviews.
As for reading my older work: Most of the time I don't really enjoy doing this.
I tend to reread religiously for one reason: I forget what happens! Yes, I forget what happens in my own stories and have to reread chapters to keep them consistent. :^P
Hence my mixed feelings about the early chapters of AMC: they are less clean than the later chapters, and I was doing some pretty weird metaphorical experiments!
See, and I in the position of the reader didn't like them any less than the newer ones. It's really a point of view thing. :-)
I didn't mean to sound disparaging about writing for others versus writing for oneself.
Oh, you really didn't! But I thought it sounded a lot like I wrote mainly for the feedback, which isn't really the case. Though of course I'm always happy to get some!!
Yes, I forget what happens in my own stories and have to reread chapters to keep them consistent. :^P
But well, you are so much more productive than I am, so you're perfectly entitled to forget. ;-) I recently re-read my fic "Seductress" and thought "Hey, I don't remember writing that paragraph" more than once...
Me too... once, I read a fic and thought, "hey, this is funny... I wonder who wrote it?" and scrolled down to the bottom of the screen and saw my own name.
But that's a good thing somehow isn't it? If you found it funny without knowing you wrote it, then it must be really funny. If my argumentation makes sense now. ;-)
That's exactly how I feel too. I can pick apart my stories like I would pick apart a story that I was reading for beta and identify the things that I do well: Characters are usually well done, imagery is decent, for example. But there's always that one flaw or that one way in which I think it could be better. I could have ten spot-on metaphors and one that's shaky, and the shaky one would define how I feel about the story. Hence my mixed feelings about the early chapters of AMC: they are less clean than the later chapters, and I was doing some pretty weird metaphorical experiments!
This may sound now, as if I would write mostly for others, which is certainly not the case, but I simply like sharing what I did, sooner or later.
I didn't mean to sound disparaging about writing for others versus writing for oneself. Some of my stories--gift fics, for example--are clearly written for others. Other gift fics were inspired by others, written for myself, and shared nonetheless! I find it interesting, though, how different people approach posting. Some will post the moment they finish a story; others (me) will take months if not pushed. Some require thorough beta'ing; others (me again) generally post before finding a beta.
I might liken it to jumping into cold water while still running...or standing on the edge for hours, toeing the water and imagining how cold it's going to be. The latter one is definitely me!
I do find that my enthusiasm for a story wanes after it's written, so perhaps it would be best to post faster. Or perhaps not, as I'd risk being disappointed by bad reviews.
As for reading my older work: Most of the time I don't really enjoy doing this.
I tend to reread religiously for one reason: I forget what happens! Yes, I forget what happens in my own stories and have to reread chapters to keep them consistent. :^P
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See, and I in the position of the reader didn't like them any less than the newer ones. It's really a point of view thing. :-)
I didn't mean to sound disparaging about writing for others versus writing for oneself.
Oh, you really didn't! But I thought it sounded a lot like I wrote mainly for the feedback, which isn't really the case. Though of course I'm always happy to get some!!
Yes, I forget what happens in my own stories and have to reread chapters to keep them consistent. :^P
But well, you are so much more productive than I am, so you're perfectly entitled to forget. ;-) I recently re-read my fic "Seductress" and thought "Hey, I don't remember writing that paragraph" more than once...
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Big d'oh moment...
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