The Finwë/Miriel Dilemma

[dawn_felagund]

Today has so far been a depressing day for me, and so I am compensating by becoming momentarily lost in a dilemma I have discovered that has absolutely no bearing on real life. Friends are losing friends (and pets--my condolensces to you, Juno) and my boss and I just had a long discussion about the state of the United States. Another hurricane is

Comments

[frenchpony]

I find Miriel's fate interesting knowing that Tolkien was a veteran of the Somme and lived to see great changes in attitude in the field of psychology. To me, Miriel's problem looks like a combination of severe PTSD (known during WWI as "shell shock") and postpartum depression. You don't just snap yourself out of either illness, and both of them leave scars.

Since the Eldar in Valinor didn't get sick, there would have been no way to care for one who did get sick. Miriel came down with two severe psychiatric illnesses, both of which can be fatal if untreated. And there was no treatment available. There is no way to blame her, for there isn't really any blame to be placed. It's like blaming someone for dying of infection before sulfa drugs were invented.

As for Nerdanel, there are some marriages that need to end. Hers was one of them. I don't know that I see her as having done something wrong in ditching Fëanor, but I always wonder about why she chose to leave the kids behind. Most women, when they leave their husbands, seem to want to retain custody of the kids. There were probably some interesting things going on in Nerdanel's mind when she did that.

Finwë -- as you probably know, I don't consider him either evil or good for what he did. He's just a guy struggling with a situation that no one had ever encountered before. The natural state of the Eldar is marriage, not widowhood. Finwë was a gentleman in need of a wife, Fëanor seemed in need of a mother, and lo and behold! there's Indis, who seems to have been willing to be both. I think Finwë's mistake was in trying to please too many people in his life. And I think it was a mistake. An honest-to-God oops that had unfortunate consequences.

Fëanor is something of a spoiled brat, and Finwë probably gave him way too much free rein as a young 'un. I remember reading where, despite the fact that Finwë remarried specifically in order to have more children, he then favored Fëanor over the younger ones, which was another bad choice. But, like the other bad choices made throughout the early Sil, it's not evil; that is, it's not made with malice aforethought.

The Silmarillion: When Good Elves Make Stupid Choices.

[dawn_felagund]

To me, Miriel's problem looks like a combination of severe PTSD (known during WWI as "shell shock") and postpartum depression. You don't just snap yourself out of either illness, and both of them leave scars.

Interesting.... Since my chosen study was clinical psychology, I am a bit embarrassed to confess that this angle never occured to me before, but wholly agree that she does seem to fit the profile of postpartum depression. I have generally avoided the temptation attaching diagnoses to Elves, though, because of the biochemical components and the fact that I can't say that Elves have the same brain biochemistry as a mortal, since so much else about their biology seems to be so different.

I have always seen Miriel's malady as deriving from a damaged fëa, which of course, cannot be put into any terms equivalent to a mortal, since we are not fëa-based beings, as are Elves. Of course, with a damaged fëa, she had perhaps less a choice than even a mental condition, which does have hope for improvement over time.

I always wonder about why she chose to leave the kids behind.

I've always seen it as less a choice to leave the kids than the kids' choice not to go with her. I think it is likely that some--or possibly all--were adults at the time, and made the choice to follow Fëanor. As far as I know, there is no definitive answer to say how old they were when she left; I've always envisioned them as adults.

It is funny, though, that in the Silmarillion, custody often seems to favor the father. Curufin took Celebrimbor to Middle-earth while his wife remained behind; Fingon sent Gil-Galad to Cirdan to be fostered . (Of course, Gil-Galad's mother could have been deceased, but nothing is said on this, so I think it just as likely that she was alive and Fingon sent their son from his family. Period.)

Finwë -- as you probably know, I don't consider him either evil or good for what he did.

Me neither :) I just like to play Devil's advocate because so many people are quick to blame Indis and Miriel but are aghast at doing the same for Finwë. I believe that all of the bad things in Fëanor's life--Miriel's death, Finwë's remarriage--contributed to some of his problems in the end, but certainly, I don't think that anyone knew how badly things would turn out. Especially Finwë.

About Finwë trying to please too many people, that is an interesting idea, an angle I had never really considered before.

You can probably figure that I don't think any of the Elves evil. They just make bad choices, as you so aptly pointed out.

[1lady_so_divine]

I'm sorry hon**hugs**

[dawn_felagund]

Thank you :) I'll survive! ;)

{{{{huggles back}}}}

[kaikias]

since we are not fëa-based beings, as are Elves

The Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth would have this only partially true or not at all; both Elves and Men are mirroanwi, symbiotic systems of fea and hroa. Where the strength and emphasis lie is perhaps different between the two races, but the basics of the system are the same.

[kaikias]

...though if you're talking about real-world humanity that's something else again and yes, difficult to cross with the unreality of the Tolkienverse, whether or not there are elves involved in the question under consideration.

[dawn_felagund]

I never finished "Anthrabeth"....

::blushes and adds to reading list::

[kaikias]

If you read Spanish or Portuguese, there are fine translations of the Athrabeth into those languages findable with a quick google; I don't remember whether or not there was a Greek version as well. If not, I'm afraid I can't help you. :)

(Me, I've had to read it, even though I've yet to hold a copy of HoME 10; I play Andreth in rpg_aman, and it Just Wouldn't Do to be going on hearsay and fandom lore.)

[dawn_felagund]

I actually own 10 and started it. I clearly remember sitting at the table in my parents' kitchen and being asked to help with something domestic and sitting it aside and just never picking it up again.

I'm going to try to pick it up again soon. A year later ;)

[kaikias]

*laughs* Well, there you have it.

[aramel_calawen]

Dawn: Read the Athrabeth! It rocks, and Andreth IMO is the most sympathetic character in HoME...

Finrod's in there, too...

[dawn_felagund]

Eek, now I have no choice!

The fact that Finrod is in it (and Dawn Felagund obviously has an interest in Finrod Felagund ;D) was the reason I started it to begin with! Yay for the 'rod! ;)