18 Years Yesterday ...
As of yesterday, Bobby and I have been together for 18 years.
I have told the story before of how we got together at the ages of 14 (me) and just-barely-15 (him) at a dance at our nerdy math-science magnet school, so I won't repeat it now. Suffice to say that we have been together for well over half of our lives by now with no plans on changing ( Read more... )
I have told the story before of how we got together at the ages of 14 (me) and just-barely-15 (him) at a dance at our nerdy math-science magnet school, so I won't repeat it now. Suffice to say that we have been together for well over half of our lives by now with no plans on changing ( Read more... )
Part of what distracted me was my search for Kurt Vonnegut's concept of duprass from his created religion in Cat's Cradle:
duprass - a karass[1] that consists of only two people. This is one of the few kinds of karass about which one can have any reliable knowledge. The two members of a duprass live lives that revolve around each other, and are therefore often married. "A true duprass can't be invaded, not even by children born of such a union." The novel cites the example of "Horlick Minton, the New American Ambassador to the Republic of San Lorenzo, and his wife, Claire." The two members of a duprass always die within a week of each other.
[1]karass - A group of people linked in a cosmically significant manner, even when superficial links are not evident.
I would say that you and Bobby fit the bill for a duprass, and yet...not quite. You two are so connected, so well-fitted and complementary to one another, and yes, based on my observations, you orbit one another. And yet...
You each reach out to others, and you each have distinction, individuality, and independence.
If Mr. Vonnegut were still alive, he'd have to come up with a unique identifier for you two.
Congratulations! :^)
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We two-how long we were fool’d!
Now transmuted, we swiftly escape, as Nature escapes;
We are Nature-long have we been absent, but now we return;
We become plants, leaves, foliage, roots, bark;
We are bedded in the ground-we are rocks;
We are oaks-we grow in the openings side by side;
We browse-we are two among the wild herds, spontaneous as any;
We are two fishes swimming in the sea together;
We are what the locust blossoms are-we drop scent around the lanes, mornings and evenings;
We are also the coarse smut of beasts, vegetables, minerals;
We are two predatory hawks-we soar above, and look down;
We are two resplendent suns-we it is who balance ourselves, orbic and stellar-we are as two comets;
We prowl fang’d and four-footed in the woods-we spring on prey;
We are two clouds, forenoons and afternoons, driving overhead;
We are seas mingling-we are two of those cheerful waves, rolling over each other, and interwetting each other;
We are what the atmosphere is, transparent, receptive, pervious, impervious:
We are snow, rain, cold, darkness-we are each product and influence of the globe;
We have circled and circled till we have arrived home again-we two have;
We have voided all but freedom, and all but our own joy.
I am in the process (for *mumblemumble* years now) of doing an illumination of this poem. Everything is basically done except the faces on the two figures that close the circles; Tristan needs to help me with that, and I haven't carved out the time for that. But I digress ...
You each reach out to others, and you each have distinction, individuality, and independence.
Yes. I earned coolness points from my former colleagues on the warrant team because I "allowed" Bobby to have his own friends and participate in his own activities. (At the same time, I froze my ass off at quite a few ice rinks ... :D) We try to become conversant enough in the other's interests to be supportive and a productive other half in a conversation, but he accepts that I'm likely never going to take up snowboarding, and even though I've tried, he's never going to agree to learn web design. I like to hope that neither of us subsumes the other.
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