Vacation, NaNoWriMo, and Characters in a Can (et al)
Stupid f-ing "DPSCS Network" ate my damned LJ entry. And it was all cool and such. You know, it's a good thing that I don't have a lot of real work to do around here. Because as much as they screw up our computers at this pathetic excuse for an agency, I would get nothing done. I can't even open my Internet right now. So I can't check my email or use my LJ, no, but worse (from their perspective, I would think), I can't run CJIS, can't check if offenders are incarcerated, and can't even look at their stupid little "DPSCS Intranet" page. So what can I do? Dunno. I guess if someone calls and wants to know if there are any active warrants on a person, I should just flip a coin. I have a 50% of being correct. Stupid DPSCS....
So I am typing this in WordPad. You know, I didn't even know that thing still existed until I had to write some HTML one time and scared it up. And my LJ entry will probably be less cool, but that's the penalty that's suffered for having to live with the stupid DPSCS network.
Nope, just checked "Intranet" again. Nothing. No stupid, smiling correctional officers like, "I *love* locking people up!" (Actually, if they're anything like my coworkers, they probably do.)
So, on a positive note, I am leaving for vacation in less than a day now. Can I get a big hooray?
HOORAY!!!
Bobby has been counting the days for the last two weeks. I teased him and said that he should make a Christmas chain for his office. I am very excited too, as this is our *big* trip for the summer (versus the little weekend trips that we take every few weeks) and it's the Ocean, hon! For those unfamiliar with the absurdities culture of Baltimore, going "down the Ocean," a.k.a. to Ocean City, is a big deal. Had I started going to Ocean City in adulthood, I probably wouldn't like it as much as I do. It is straight-up 100% a tourist town. Bobby and I go in the winter to stay in one of the nice hotels (that we can't afford in the summer) and do nothing but lounge by the pool and eat extravagant dinners, and the place is a ghost town. But in the summer, it's all people in swimwear and cars bumper-to-bumper and bright pastel-painted motels. I (like most Marylanders) have been going pretty much annually since birth, and so a cruise down Coastal Highway is full of memories for me. (Most of which I will be sharing in my LJ when I get back. I am taking a lot of pictures, creating a "virtual tour" of OC because the town is changing and, every year it seems, another landmark is torn away to make room for something new. This is the last summer for the Jolly Roger amusement park, for example. That seriously makes me want to cry.)
Okay, my mood was pretty crappy but just thinking about the ocean (hon) has cheered me up.
(Bal'morons, by the way, are known for saying "hon" a lot. We also have funny accents, I am told. Frankly, they don't sound funny to me. But my sister's poor girlfriend, who hails from Newcastle, England, cannot understand much of what my husband and I say, apparently.)
To 180 a bit, I have just spent that last week wallowing in beta/editing projects. I did nine. In four days. My head can't quite wrap around that idea. Still. Even after they're done. Worse, only three were fanfics. I find fanfics a million times easier to beta than "realfics." Realfic writers tend to try to do things that really don't work, and then I have to a) tactfully explain that to them and b) offer them an alternative. I did get to meet some new varieties of Characters in a Can, though. My own writer's pantry is filled with Characters in a Can, mostly (I hope) from my early days in writing. Let's see, there's Horribly Oppressed Heroine. She is a youngish female, usually of exceptional talent in some arena and of average beauty, who is repressed by her uber-religious guardians. Alongside her is Rebellious Rocker Boy. He is always hot. No questions about that. He is a rebel with a good soul and a Fender Strat. Yes, my Rocker Boys always play a Fender Strat. Probably because I (used to) play a Fender Strat.
But this recent foray back into the world of writing has brought to my attention all *NEW* varieties of Characters in a Can:
*NEW!!!*
Characters in a Can™
Angsty Young Adult™
Now with sour grapes!
Angsty Young Adult™ comes with a flavorful blend of colored hair dye and facial tattoos. Served best smothered beneath our *NEW* Repressive 'Rents™ creme sauce or beside a colorful platter of Suitably Eccentric Angsty Friends Blend™, both available from Characters in a Can™.
Angsty Young Adult™ blends bitterness with a difficult-to-appreciate sweetness and puts off a rebellious, smoky aroma that resembles oregano.
(Caution: Ansty Young Adult™ should be stored only on low shelves in your pantry and away from all sharp objects.)
And then, of course, there is the old classic from my college days:
Characters in a Can™
Original-Style College Student™
Original-Style College Student™ is unique for its ability to be mixed with nearly any of our unique line of Conflicts in a Can™. Original-Style College Student™ is acclaimed for its superior accompaniment of Drink-and-Drive Daiquiris and Bulimia Brulee and goes well in a Divorce De-lite. More adventurous writers might try Original-Style College Student™ in a Cancer Casserole or as an adventurous side to Pregnancy Pops. All of these lines, and more, are available from Conflicts in a Can™.
Okay, I am being mean. I am going to stop before you all label me a vindictive and ignorant person :)
While reading all these stories, though (and this applies to none of the fanfics), I noticed the following disturbing trends. They are disturbing because I think the writers are trying to be more sophisticated. They made me go "Nnnnrrrrggghhh!" though. Yes, that is a strange noise, and I do not like to make it. Now, I don't admit to being a perfect writer. You all prove that every week, when I release new chapters of AMC ;) But these things made me go "Nnnnnnrrrggghhhh!" nonetheless.
1) Pronoun references. I think that if I have to write "pronoun reference" one more time....nnnnrrrrgggghhhh! Anyway, consider the following sentence (which I made up):
"He and John went to the bank with fists full of bills. The bank teller smiled at them. "How do you want your change?" he asked, to which he replied, "This is a stick-up! Give me all your money!" Shots fired. He fell to the floor. He knelt beside him. He said, "Oh, what have I done!" He prayed to God. He said, "I don't know, but it looks like you fucked up."
Now everyone misses a pronoun reference every now and then. But really....
2) I am a sexless narrator. Two of the nine stories I read this week had first-person narrators. I got to the midle-end of the story, thinking these narrators were male. Call me sexist, whatever. If I don't know, I plug in a man. Usually one that resembles either Feanor or Maedhros. Frankly, I like looking at men better. And I like male characters more. But then, lo! at the middle-end of the story, it turns out that the narrator was a female. Weird. Now, I am not one of those people who needs to know the narrator's height/weight/birthday/bra size upon meeting her, but to know she is a her helps.
Before I go and attempt to post this again (because I am blowing this Popsicle stand in an hour!), I must admit to being a pushover. And a masochist. Why? Because I was chatting with isil_elensar the other day in her LJ about writing . She mentioned NaNaWriMo. (National Novel Writing Month. Yes, you write a novel in a month.) Since I had no idea (then) about NaNoWriMo, I asked what it was. It was a fun word to say, but I didn't want to go around saying it if it stood for Naked Nookie while Writhing on Motorcycles. Actually, that sounds pretty interesting too...but anyway. Isil told me what it *really* meant (although I did not then regale her with my hypothesis). arandil13 then jumped in and spoke the doomed words: "Oh, you have to do NaNoWriMo with us, Dawn!"
My first thought: WTF?! A novel in a month?! My second thought: 175 pages divided by 30 days is (slightly less than) six pages a day. My third thought: I have been wanting to write this nagging story with some characters from my RPG (yes, I am a nerd). My fourth thought: Goodness, Bobby is going to want to kill me by November 30th....
So I went home and told Bobby about it. He said, "Cool." I said, "No! You're supposed to talk me out of it! Tell me I can't do it!" He looked at me oddly and said, "I think you should do it."
Damn. All the misogynist assholes in the world and I couldn't get one ;)
So I said next, "Bobbbbyyy???" in that voice like I want something. Something fun for me and painful to him. "Bobby, *you* should do it too."
Again, he looked at me oddly and said, "I'll think about it."
So, the final verdict is that--while Bobby cannot do National Novel Writing Month (he actually has a high-stress job that requires him to work, unlike me)--he is going to do a variant: National Novella Writing Month. It is a personal thing, just between us (and y'all, by default). I told him that fifty pages would suffice. He has wanted to get back into writing for a long time, I think, and this is the perfect excuse to do it.
Plus, my sweetpea is a very good writer. ::huggles Bobby and promises her LJ friends that she'll stop being so damned sappy::
So, LJ friends, this is my official invitation to you to join me (and Isil and Arandil) in National Novel Writing Month. I would like to postulate that it is good for your mental health to do so. Here's why:
1) If you are reading this, then you are obviously an LJ friend with enough interest in my entries to make it through all the muck above and to this point. I commend you.
2) NaNoWriMo will cause me to pull out what little dark blond hair AMC has left me.
3) The more hair I pull, the more I gripe.
4) The more I gripe, the more I write said gripes in my LJ.
5) The more gripes I write, the more gripes you will read.
6) The more gripes you read, the more you will want to kill me.
So, rather than putting up with murderous thoughts and devising ways to get to Baltimore, find me, and kill me undetected, I humbly suggest that *you* also do NaNoWriMo, so that you can also gripe (and I will read them, promise!) and turn your anger away from me and towards NaNoWriMo, which is a nice safe entity that can't bleed or die.
So do NaNoWriMo. Do it now. You will regret it if you do not.
That's said, for those who don't know, I leave for vacation in less than a day. I will be denied access to my Sweet Connection, a.k.a. my email and LJ, until my return next Wednesday. Then, I will acknowledge all comments and emails that you all have given me. I am not being rude, I swear--well, no ruder than usual ;P--but cannot access Internet without a computer.
And unless one washes up on the beach and they have installed Hi-Speed out on the jetty, then prospects look grim indeed.
So, everyone, have a wonderful weekend and start to your next week. I will talk to you on Thursday :)
(Medium) Dawn Felagund (of the Fountain)
So I am typing this in WordPad. You know, I didn't even know that thing still existed until I had to write some HTML one time and scared it up. And my LJ entry will probably be less cool, but that's the penalty that's suffered for having to live with the stupid DPSCS network.
Nope, just checked "Intranet" again. Nothing. No stupid, smiling correctional officers like, "I *love* locking people up!" (Actually, if they're anything like my coworkers, they probably do.)
So, on a positive note, I am leaving for vacation in less than a day now. Can I get a big hooray?
HOORAY!!!
Bobby has been counting the days for the last two weeks. I teased him and said that he should make a Christmas chain for his office. I am very excited too, as this is our *big* trip for the summer (versus the little weekend trips that we take every few weeks) and it's the Ocean, hon! For those unfamiliar with the absurdities culture of Baltimore, going "down the Ocean," a.k.a. to Ocean City, is a big deal. Had I started going to Ocean City in adulthood, I probably wouldn't like it as much as I do. It is straight-up 100% a tourist town. Bobby and I go in the winter to stay in one of the nice hotels (that we can't afford in the summer) and do nothing but lounge by the pool and eat extravagant dinners, and the place is a ghost town. But in the summer, it's all people in swimwear and cars bumper-to-bumper and bright pastel-painted motels. I (like most Marylanders) have been going pretty much annually since birth, and so a cruise down Coastal Highway is full of memories for me. (Most of which I will be sharing in my LJ when I get back. I am taking a lot of pictures, creating a "virtual tour" of OC because the town is changing and, every year it seems, another landmark is torn away to make room for something new. This is the last summer for the Jolly Roger amusement park, for example. That seriously makes me want to cry.)
Okay, my mood was pretty crappy but just thinking about the ocean (hon) has cheered me up.
(Bal'morons, by the way, are known for saying "hon" a lot. We also have funny accents, I am told. Frankly, they don't sound funny to me. But my sister's poor girlfriend, who hails from Newcastle, England, cannot understand much of what my husband and I say, apparently.)
To 180 a bit, I have just spent that last week wallowing in beta/editing projects. I did nine. In four days. My head can't quite wrap around that idea. Still. Even after they're done. Worse, only three were fanfics. I find fanfics a million times easier to beta than "realfics." Realfic writers tend to try to do things that really don't work, and then I have to a) tactfully explain that to them and b) offer them an alternative. I did get to meet some new varieties of Characters in a Can, though. My own writer's pantry is filled with Characters in a Can, mostly (I hope) from my early days in writing. Let's see, there's Horribly Oppressed Heroine. She is a youngish female, usually of exceptional talent in some arena and of average beauty, who is repressed by her uber-religious guardians. Alongside her is Rebellious Rocker Boy. He is always hot. No questions about that. He is a rebel with a good soul and a Fender Strat. Yes, my Rocker Boys always play a Fender Strat. Probably because I (used to) play a Fender Strat.
But this recent foray back into the world of writing has brought to my attention all *NEW* varieties of Characters in a Can:
*NEW!!!*
Characters in a Can™
Angsty Young Adult™
Now with sour grapes!
Angsty Young Adult™ comes with a flavorful blend of colored hair dye and facial tattoos. Served best smothered beneath our *NEW* Repressive 'Rents™ creme sauce or beside a colorful platter of Suitably Eccentric Angsty Friends Blend™, both available from Characters in a Can™.
Angsty Young Adult™ blends bitterness with a difficult-to-appreciate sweetness and puts off a rebellious, smoky aroma that resembles oregano.
(Caution: Ansty Young Adult™ should be stored only on low shelves in your pantry and away from all sharp objects.)
And then, of course, there is the old classic from my college days:
Characters in a Can™
Original-Style College Student™
Original-Style College Student™ is unique for its ability to be mixed with nearly any of our unique line of Conflicts in a Can™. Original-Style College Student™ is acclaimed for its superior accompaniment of Drink-and-Drive Daiquiris and Bulimia Brulee and goes well in a Divorce De-lite. More adventurous writers might try Original-Style College Student™ in a Cancer Casserole or as an adventurous side to Pregnancy Pops. All of these lines, and more, are available from Conflicts in a Can™.
Okay, I am being mean. I am going to stop before you all label me a vindictive and ignorant person :)
While reading all these stories, though (and this applies to none of the fanfics), I noticed the following disturbing trends. They are disturbing because I think the writers are trying to be more sophisticated. They made me go "Nnnnrrrrggghhh!" though. Yes, that is a strange noise, and I do not like to make it. Now, I don't admit to being a perfect writer. You all prove that every week, when I release new chapters of AMC ;) But these things made me go "Nnnnnnrrrggghhhh!" nonetheless.
1) Pronoun references. I think that if I have to write "pronoun reference" one more time....nnnnrrrrgggghhhh! Anyway, consider the following sentence (which I made up):
"He and John went to the bank with fists full of bills. The bank teller smiled at them. "How do you want your change?" he asked, to which he replied, "This is a stick-up! Give me all your money!" Shots fired. He fell to the floor. He knelt beside him. He said, "Oh, what have I done!" He prayed to God. He said, "I don't know, but it looks like you fucked up."
Now everyone misses a pronoun reference every now and then. But really....
2) I am a sexless narrator. Two of the nine stories I read this week had first-person narrators. I got to the midle-end of the story, thinking these narrators were male. Call me sexist, whatever. If I don't know, I plug in a man. Usually one that resembles either Feanor or Maedhros. Frankly, I like looking at men better. And I like male characters more. But then, lo! at the middle-end of the story, it turns out that the narrator was a female. Weird. Now, I am not one of those people who needs to know the narrator's height/weight/birthday/bra size upon meeting her, but to know she is a her helps.
Before I go and attempt to post this again (because I am blowing this Popsicle stand in an hour!), I must admit to being a pushover. And a masochist. Why? Because I was chatting with isil_elensar the other day in her LJ about writing . She mentioned NaNaWriMo. (National Novel Writing Month. Yes, you write a novel in a month.) Since I had no idea (then) about NaNoWriMo, I asked what it was. It was a fun word to say, but I didn't want to go around saying it if it stood for Naked Nookie while Writhing on Motorcycles. Actually, that sounds pretty interesting too...but anyway. Isil told me what it *really* meant (although I did not then regale her with my hypothesis). arandil13 then jumped in and spoke the doomed words: "Oh, you have to do NaNoWriMo with us, Dawn!"
My first thought: WTF?! A novel in a month?! My second thought: 175 pages divided by 30 days is (slightly less than) six pages a day. My third thought: I have been wanting to write this nagging story with some characters from my RPG (yes, I am a nerd). My fourth thought: Goodness, Bobby is going to want to kill me by November 30th....
So I went home and told Bobby about it. He said, "Cool." I said, "No! You're supposed to talk me out of it! Tell me I can't do it!" He looked at me oddly and said, "I think you should do it."
Damn. All the misogynist assholes in the world and I couldn't get one ;)
So I said next, "Bobbbbyyy???" in that voice like I want something. Something fun for me and painful to him. "Bobby, *you* should do it too."
Again, he looked at me oddly and said, "I'll think about it."
So, the final verdict is that--while Bobby cannot do National Novel Writing Month (he actually has a high-stress job that requires him to work, unlike me)--he is going to do a variant: National Novella Writing Month. It is a personal thing, just between us (and y'all, by default). I told him that fifty pages would suffice. He has wanted to get back into writing for a long time, I think, and this is the perfect excuse to do it.
Plus, my sweetpea is a very good writer. ::huggles Bobby and promises her LJ friends that she'll stop being so damned sappy::
So, LJ friends, this is my official invitation to you to join me (and Isil and Arandil) in National Novel Writing Month. I would like to postulate that it is good for your mental health to do so. Here's why:
1) If you are reading this, then you are obviously an LJ friend with enough interest in my entries to make it through all the muck above and to this point. I commend you.
2) NaNoWriMo will cause me to pull out what little dark blond hair AMC has left me.
3) The more hair I pull, the more I gripe.
4) The more I gripe, the more I write said gripes in my LJ.
5) The more gripes I write, the more gripes you will read.
6) The more gripes you read, the more you will want to kill me.
So, rather than putting up with murderous thoughts and devising ways to get to Baltimore, find me, and kill me undetected, I humbly suggest that *you* also do NaNoWriMo, so that you can also gripe (and I will read them, promise!) and turn your anger away from me and towards NaNoWriMo, which is a nice safe entity that can't bleed or die.
So do NaNoWriMo. Do it now. You will regret it if you do not.
That's said, for those who don't know, I leave for vacation in less than a day. I will be denied access to my Sweet Connection, a.k.a. my email and LJ, until my return next Wednesday. Then, I will acknowledge all comments and emails that you all have given me. I am not being rude, I swear--well, no ruder than usual ;P--but cannot access Internet without a computer.
And unless one washes up on the beach and they have installed Hi-Speed out on the jetty, then prospects look grim indeed.
So, everyone, have a wonderful weekend and start to your next week. I will talk to you on Thursday :)
(Medium) Dawn Felagund (of the Fountain)