Also, in that paragraph I think your tenses are bit off. If you write present tense, shouldn't it be "can", not "could" and "will have lain", not "would"?
I just quickly scanned this section, and it seems that in the part to which you refer, Maitimo is talking about his parents in the past tense, about things that happened in the past.
I am ashamed to admit this, but I have never learned how to do tenses correctly in English. Yes, English is my native language; that is why it is so shameful. The only time I learned about tenses at all--so that I even have a clue what "perfect" tense is--was when I took Spanish. In high school. I barely remember the language much less the details about the grammar. My English education was severely lacking in teachings about the mechanics of the language. In my schools, "English" was taught by reading a bunch of books and plays that were over my head and discussing symbolism and imagery. What I know of grammar, punctuation, and other mechanical issues I taught myself out of simple need to perfect the stories I had to edit for the literary magazine in college. Some of it I also picked up from reading so much and learning the proper ways to use different kinds of punctuation and such--I then verify the correctness of the rule in my grammar book at home.
I have a big, thick book on mechanics at home. I am going to go home tonight and read all I can about the correct use of verb tenses. The passages you highlighted do not sound wrong to me--this is how I would speak them were I telling the story aloud--but it is possible that they are not *technically* correct.
As for not writing in present tense: I cannot promise that! This is the first long story that I have ever attempted in present tense. I have already told you how it started in past and switched itself to present without my knowledge :)
A conservative estimate of this story so far has it at about 300 pages, size 10 TNR, single-spaced, with normal margins. (Each section is a separate document, and so I cannot do an exact page count.) I am not going to change the whole story to past tense--and not just because I'm lazy. I am not overly fond of writing in past tense; it is hard to explain why, but I tend to gravitate towards present these days. I am making no sense and apologize :) Anyway, I would hate to lose a reader over something as silly as the tense in which I prefer to write--especially one who gives as good of comments as you--but this really is my preferred style at the time. This does not say it will not change--my preferences change all the time! Five years ago, I would not have written in present tense. Now, I do. Perhaps, in another five years, I won't.
I have considered all along the number of comments that you have given me to be a gift that I wasn't sure I fully deserved. It just seemed to happen--one day I checked my LJ and viola! I had a load of great comments. I had in mind that when I sent you the chapter, I was going to remind you that you are in no way *obligated* to continue with this :) It's not like we ever even entered into an official beta/author agreement where I might be hurt or feel like you're not keeping your end of the deal. It just sort of...happened :)
As for persnickety, believe me, I can take it! I *need* it! I have heard so many times in my life, "Wow, it's really good, I liked it!" that I thought I would go mad if I asked for concrit and heard that one more time.
Not that I mind praise, of course :) But it used to annoy me to spend *hours* preparing people's stories for workshops and get back for my own, "Wow, it's really good, I liked it!"
I was thinking today that I should learn Latin. It's really hard and would *make* me understand how grammar functions. It is sad, but--with the exception of my middle school (ages 11-13)--the schools I went to were excellent. The attitude in the US education system now, though, is that grammar and mechanics are not important. I heard the other day that elementary schools are eliminating spelling lessons. Huh? Yes, I understand that language and writing are not rigid and creativity should be encouraged, but mechanical rules also allow us all to communicate in a way that we can all understand each other. "He had a poor effect" and "He had a poor affect" both mean different things, for example.
Argh! Sorry, I am rambling and probably also preaching to the choir, I know. Anyway, thanks for the work you've done on this beast so far. I truly appreciate it!
I just quickly scanned this section, and it seems that in the part to which you refer, Maitimo is talking about his parents in the past tense, about things that happened in the past.
I am ashamed to admit this, but I have never learned how to do tenses correctly in English. Yes, English is my native language; that is why it is so shameful. The only time I learned about tenses at all--so that I even have a clue what "perfect" tense is--was when I took Spanish. In high school. I barely remember the language much less the details about the grammar. My English education was severely lacking in teachings about the mechanics of the language. In my schools, "English" was taught by reading a bunch of books and plays that were over my head and discussing symbolism and imagery. What I know of grammar, punctuation, and other mechanical issues I taught myself out of simple need to perfect the stories I had to edit for the literary magazine in college. Some of it I also picked up from reading so much and learning the proper ways to use different kinds of punctuation and such--I then verify the correctness of the rule in my grammar book at home.
I have a big, thick book on mechanics at home. I am going to go home tonight and read all I can about the correct use of verb tenses. The passages you highlighted do not sound wrong to me--this is how I would speak them were I telling the story aloud--but it is possible that they are not *technically* correct.
As for not writing in present tense: I cannot promise that! This is the first long story that I have ever attempted in present tense. I have already told you how it started in past and switched itself to present without my knowledge :)
A conservative estimate of this story so far has it at about 300 pages, size 10 TNR, single-spaced, with normal margins. (Each section is a separate document, and so I cannot do an exact page count.) I am not going to change the whole story to past tense--and not just because I'm lazy. I am not overly fond of writing in past tense; it is hard to explain why, but I tend to gravitate towards present these days. I am making no sense and apologize :) Anyway, I would hate to lose a reader over something as silly as the tense in which I prefer to write--especially one who gives as good of comments as you--but this really is my preferred style at the time. This does not say it will not change--my preferences change all the time! Five years ago, I would not have written in present tense. Now, I do. Perhaps, in another five years, I won't.
Time shall tell, I suppose :)
Sorry for the ramble....
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(The comment has been removed)
I have considered all along the number of comments that you have given me to be a gift that I wasn't sure I fully deserved. It just seemed to happen--one day I checked my LJ and viola! I had a load of great comments. I had in mind that when I sent you the chapter, I was going to remind you that you are in no way *obligated* to continue with this :) It's not like we ever even entered into an official beta/author agreement where I might be hurt or feel like you're not keeping your end of the deal. It just sort of...happened :)
As for persnickety, believe me, I can take it! I *need* it! I have heard so many times in my life, "Wow, it's really good, I liked it!" that I thought I would go mad if I asked for concrit and heard that one more time.
Not that I mind praise, of course :) But it used to annoy me to spend *hours* preparing people's stories for workshops and get back for my own, "Wow, it's really good, I liked it!"
I was thinking today that I should learn Latin. It's really hard and would *make* me understand how grammar functions. It is sad, but--with the exception of my middle school (ages 11-13)--the schools I went to were excellent. The attitude in the US education system now, though, is that grammar and mechanics are not important. I heard the other day that elementary schools are eliminating spelling lessons. Huh? Yes, I understand that language and writing are not rigid and creativity should be encouraged, but mechanical rules also allow us all to communicate in a way that we can all understand each other. "He had a poor effect" and "He had a poor affect" both mean different things, for example.
Argh! Sorry, I am rambling and probably also preaching to the choir, I know. Anyway, thanks for the work you've done on this beast so far. I truly appreciate it!
::big grateful hug:: :)
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(The comment has been removed)
You asked for it.... :D It's on its way!
I don't mind rambling.:D
You talk to me, don't you? ;)
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