I ♥ Hanover
Bobby and I went to dinner tonight at a Mexican restaurant in Hanover, which is a town in southern Pennsylvania, about twenty minutes north of us. I seriously think Hanover might be one of the weirdest places on the planet. It's very small-townish, and there are a lot of businesses that sell rather odd combinations of items. Once, in my glee over these bizarre establishments, I cackled that Hanover is like driving through a U.S. "main street" town in a very odd alternate universe. Here's a list of the funniest and most bizarre. Keep in mind that these are all on the main street! I sometimes wonder what wonders exist as one ventures deeper into the wilds of Hanover, PA.
I ♥ Hanover!
- Real estate and firewood. I guess it's handy to be able to buy your new home and the wood to heat it with. Bobby has a much more cynical view, given the current economy and, especially, the real-estate market: Can't sell your house?? We'll at least give you its value if we can sell it as firewood!
- Dad's Auto Detailing, Ebay Store, and Pawn Shop. We just noticed the addition of the pawn shop tonight. I suppose you can go and get your car cleaned, unload some old Barry Manilow LPs, and buy a gun with the serial number filed off, all at the same time.
- Erick's Record Shop and Mexican Store. I'd imagine this is handy if you want to pick up the new Fifty Cent CD and also have a hankering for a burrito.
- The Hanover Spice Company. In need of a bottle of fennel, a dozen vanilla beans, or jar of fresh-ground cumin? Think this is the place to go in downtown Hanover for such items? Wrong! However, if you need a naughty DVD or crotchless, edible panties, you're in luck!
- Close-out Store: Furniture, Clothing, Office Supplies, and Groceries. I'm not sure I'd want to buy close-out groceries. Bobby's grandmother buys food items from such a store. One time, knowing that we liked cold coffee beverages, she bought us each one of those bottled Starbucks frappucinos. Bobby and I were drinking them, and we both looked at each other and said, "Do these seem weird to you?" They were ... chunky. There was chunks of dairy product in them. We flipped over the bottles and discovered that the sell-by date was two years past!
- The Funniest! Andrew Crooks, Certified Public Accountant. I'm sure this guy is a marvelous CPA. However, there's just something bad-sitcom-funny about having your taxes done by a guy whose name is Crooks.
- The Grossest! Hot and Crusty Italian and Mexican Fusion Grill. I don't even want to imagine what "Italian and Mexican fusion" consists of. Nachos made with ground Italian sausage and ricotta cheese? Pepperoni burritos served with a side of mushroom-jalapeño risotto? Lasagna layered with molé sauce and salsa verde? As though that doesn't sound gross enough, "hot and crusty"? Really?? I remarked to Bobby that it sounds more like the slogan for a wound treatment center than a restaurant. "If it's hot and crusty, come see us!" Nor--having worked in a restaurant for six years--does the word "crusty" make me hungry. It makes me think more of a deep fryer in bad need of cleaning, or some of our experiments with leaving food under the heat lamp all night to see what would happen.
- The Most Bizarre! Candynut Shoppe: Chocolates, Nuts, and Electric Shaver Parts. I'm really not even sure what to say about this one. I ... No, I really don't know what to say about this one.
Except that it's very close to Hot and Crusty!
I ♥ Hanover!