What's in a Name?
Random note:
Okay, as of five minutes ago, we are going to Bermuda! In March! Bobby and I needed to go somewhere to finish our open water dives for our scuba certifications, and we had promised my sister-in-law Erin to pay for part of a trip someplace cool with us for her 21st birthday. We'd originally considered going back to Puerto Rico, but in looking for good travel deals, Bobby found a great deal to Bermuda, at the Grotto Bay Beach Resort, which (for diving geeks) is also a five-star PADI resort.
I can think of worse fates than doing my check-out dives on a coral reef in crystal-clear, warm water. Better than a murky, cold quarry certainly!
I had started this post to muse on names, but that news is simply too exciting not to share. :)
So I've been giving thought to my name. Actually, my name is a constant source of anxiety for me, since I was young and decided that I hated it.
Because I don't like to use my real name in public online posts but want to capture the effect of how my real last name(s) actually sound, I am using the alias Rawls-Loomis as my last name. Creepy stalker lurkers, don't get excited. You won't find out anything by searching Dawn Marie Rawls-Loomis on your stalker sites.
As I said, my name and I have a long, sordid history together. Growing up, I was Dawn Rawls, which was always said as one word: Dawnrawls. I hated my name: It was so curt and unlovely. I even kicked around the notion for a while of answering to my middle name "Marie," since both of my parents use their middle names, and I hoped that three syllables would sound less ridiculous than two.
When I got a bit older, I adopted the professional/author's name of "Dawn M. Rawls." The "M" broke things up a bit and prevented the name from sounding like a single, ugly word. It added a bit of dignity, I thought.
When I got married, that brought a whole new issue to angst over. What to do with my name? I am proud of my family name and didn't want to lose it. At the same time, I like the notion of sharing a family name with my husband, creating a family in the nominal/symbolic sense. Bobby is my family, and while part of my personal identity is my family name "Rawls," I didn't want a different name from my husband.
Still, I hate the idea of one partner assimilating the other's history and family identity, so I decided to keep my maiden name. Which resulted in Bobby making an extraordinary offer: Why shouldn't we both hyphenate our names, so each could keep his/her family name and also take the other's name? This amazed me; American culture at least places great value on a man keeping his name. But I loved the idea, so I agreed, and we became Bobby and Dawn Rawls-Loomis.
Now, you would think that I'd taken a Martian name consisting of random clicks and squeaks for all the trouble that people have with "Rawls-Loomis." Is it that tough of a name? First of all, no one spells it correctly. I had a doctor's appointment the other day and sat, oblivious, in the waiting room while the receptionist called, "Lerman? Lerman?" Nope, no "Lerman" here...not even close. Both my primary doctor and pharmacist had my name wrong in their respective systems. I can imagine if I had a medical emergency and my records were needed in a hurry! No one would be able to find me because "Rawls-Loomis" would be listed as "Lerman."
(The pharmacy had me as "Loomis-Rawls." Come on, people, it's 2007. Hyphenated names aren't that revolutionary!)
Given my tendency to angst over my name, perhaps that is the reason why, yes, I think it is a big deal when Bobby or I have "Rawls-Loomis" listed on something and get called "Loomis." Our name is not Loomis; it is not the convenient second half. That would be like calling my Uncle Wodie, whose name was Walter Szczerbicki, Walter Bicki. Yes, it might be easier, but it is not his name. It shows disrespect to insist on getting someone's name wrong. If my name is Dawn Smith and you insist on calling me Dawn Jones, yes, that is disrespectful. It's like saying, "Oh, you're too inconvenient for me to remember, so I'll just call you what I will."
After the confusion at the doctor's office, I had to call a second office to schedule a test. This is how the conversation went:
Receptionist: What's your last name?
Dawn: Rawls-Loomis.
Receptionist: Have you been here before?
Dawn: No, I have not.
Receptionist: You say your name is Rawls? We don't have you in the system.
Dawn: My name is Rawls-Loomis.
Receptionist: We don't have a Rawls in the system. You say you've been here before?
Dawn (insistent): No, I have not been there before.
Receptionist: Oh. Well, what's your last name?
Dawn (trying not to sound as exasperated as she feels): Rawls-Loomis.
Receptionist: Can you spell that?
Dawn (slowly, borne of experience): R-A-W-L-S-hyphen-L-O-O-M-I-S.
Receptionist: Can you spell that slower?
Dawn (more slowly): R--A--W--L--S--hyphen--L--O--O--M--I--S.
Receptionist: Okay. And your first name?
Dawn: Dawn.
Receptionist: Do you have a middle initial?
Dawn: Yes. M.
Receptionist (annoyed): You have a hyphenated name and a middle initial?
Okay, this disturbs me on many levels. For one, women generally hyphenate their names after they marry--in the US anyway--and the middle name, and thus middle initial, is generally bestowed by the parents at birth. Therefore, the middle initial occured in an event separate and not related to the choice to take a hyphenated name.
Secondly, she asked me for a middle initial. I did not offer it up voluntarily, "Oh, by the way, I also have a middle initial that I insist that you use, and it's M." Actually, I don't generally use the M anymore, as Rawls-Loomis causes enough problems on its own. But it's rather contrary to ask a person for information and then become annoyed because she provides it.
Regardless, Wednesday will tell if "Dawn M. Rawls-Loomis" was properly entered into the system, even after all of that drama. I'm betting that it was not.
Given the problems that my not-all-that-difficult name has provided (and trust me, "Rawls" was misspelled and mispronounced nearly as egregiously on its own; it's no wonder that I have name anxiety!), the idea of again choosing an author name with my new name gave me pause. Since I am sending in stories to magazines, I need to decide how I want my name to appear, should I be published. I want to keep my family name, but I don't like the hyphen all that much in my author name. I can't express why; it's strange. So, after much thinking and discussing with Bobby, I will be Dawn Rawls Loomis. Hopefully, should I be published, places can spell that correctly.
Honestly, I was tempted to keep Dawn Felagund, which causes far fewer problems, except for the fact that I write fantasy and so much of my audience has probably read Tolkien!
The moral of the story: Please do your friends and colleagues with hyphenated names a favor. Say/spell their names correctly. Both names; yes, they both count for equal weight. That is part of the point. And if you work in medical records, a more vigorous effort to do so is kindly appreciated.
Okay, as of five minutes ago, we are going to Bermuda! In March! Bobby and I needed to go somewhere to finish our open water dives for our scuba certifications, and we had promised my sister-in-law Erin to pay for part of a trip someplace cool with us for her 21st birthday. We'd originally considered going back to Puerto Rico, but in looking for good travel deals, Bobby found a great deal to Bermuda, at the Grotto Bay Beach Resort, which (for diving geeks) is also a five-star PADI resort.
I can think of worse fates than doing my check-out dives on a coral reef in crystal-clear, warm water. Better than a murky, cold quarry certainly!
I had started this post to muse on names, but that news is simply too exciting not to share. :)
So I've been giving thought to my name. Actually, my name is a constant source of anxiety for me, since I was young and decided that I hated it.
Because I don't like to use my real name in public online posts but want to capture the effect of how my real last name(s) actually sound, I am using the alias Rawls-Loomis as my last name. Creepy stalker lurkers, don't get excited. You won't find out anything by searching Dawn Marie Rawls-Loomis on your stalker sites.
As I said, my name and I have a long, sordid history together. Growing up, I was Dawn Rawls, which was always said as one word: Dawnrawls. I hated my name: It was so curt and unlovely. I even kicked around the notion for a while of answering to my middle name "Marie," since both of my parents use their middle names, and I hoped that three syllables would sound less ridiculous than two.
When I got a bit older, I adopted the professional/author's name of "Dawn M. Rawls." The "M" broke things up a bit and prevented the name from sounding like a single, ugly word. It added a bit of dignity, I thought.
When I got married, that brought a whole new issue to angst over. What to do with my name? I am proud of my family name and didn't want to lose it. At the same time, I like the notion of sharing a family name with my husband, creating a family in the nominal/symbolic sense. Bobby is my family, and while part of my personal identity is my family name "Rawls," I didn't want a different name from my husband.
Still, I hate the idea of one partner assimilating the other's history and family identity, so I decided to keep my maiden name. Which resulted in Bobby making an extraordinary offer: Why shouldn't we both hyphenate our names, so each could keep his/her family name and also take the other's name? This amazed me; American culture at least places great value on a man keeping his name. But I loved the idea, so I agreed, and we became Bobby and Dawn Rawls-Loomis.
Now, you would think that I'd taken a Martian name consisting of random clicks and squeaks for all the trouble that people have with "Rawls-Loomis." Is it that tough of a name? First of all, no one spells it correctly. I had a doctor's appointment the other day and sat, oblivious, in the waiting room while the receptionist called, "Lerman? Lerman?" Nope, no "Lerman" here...not even close. Both my primary doctor and pharmacist had my name wrong in their respective systems. I can imagine if I had a medical emergency and my records were needed in a hurry! No one would be able to find me because "Rawls-Loomis" would be listed as "Lerman."
(The pharmacy had me as "Loomis-Rawls." Come on, people, it's 2007. Hyphenated names aren't that revolutionary!)
Given my tendency to angst over my name, perhaps that is the reason why, yes, I think it is a big deal when Bobby or I have "Rawls-Loomis" listed on something and get called "Loomis." Our name is not Loomis; it is not the convenient second half. That would be like calling my Uncle Wodie, whose name was Walter Szczerbicki, Walter Bicki. Yes, it might be easier, but it is not his name. It shows disrespect to insist on getting someone's name wrong. If my name is Dawn Smith and you insist on calling me Dawn Jones, yes, that is disrespectful. It's like saying, "Oh, you're too inconvenient for me to remember, so I'll just call you what I will."
After the confusion at the doctor's office, I had to call a second office to schedule a test. This is how the conversation went:
Receptionist: What's your last name?
Dawn: Rawls-Loomis.
Receptionist: Have you been here before?
Dawn: No, I have not.
Receptionist: You say your name is Rawls? We don't have you in the system.
Dawn: My name is Rawls-Loomis.
Receptionist: We don't have a Rawls in the system. You say you've been here before?
Dawn (insistent): No, I have not been there before.
Receptionist: Oh. Well, what's your last name?
Dawn (trying not to sound as exasperated as she feels): Rawls-Loomis.
Receptionist: Can you spell that?
Dawn (slowly, borne of experience): R-A-W-L-S-hyphen-L-O-O-M-I-S.
Receptionist: Can you spell that slower?
Dawn (more slowly): R--A--W--L--S--hyphen--L--O--O--M--I--S.
Receptionist: Okay. And your first name?
Dawn: Dawn.
Receptionist: Do you have a middle initial?
Dawn: Yes. M.
Receptionist (annoyed): You have a hyphenated name and a middle initial?
Okay, this disturbs me on many levels. For one, women generally hyphenate their names after they marry--in the US anyway--and the middle name, and thus middle initial, is generally bestowed by the parents at birth. Therefore, the middle initial occured in an event separate and not related to the choice to take a hyphenated name.
Secondly, she asked me for a middle initial. I did not offer it up voluntarily, "Oh, by the way, I also have a middle initial that I insist that you use, and it's M." Actually, I don't generally use the M anymore, as Rawls-Loomis causes enough problems on its own. But it's rather contrary to ask a person for information and then become annoyed because she provides it.
Regardless, Wednesday will tell if "Dawn M. Rawls-Loomis" was properly entered into the system, even after all of that drama. I'm betting that it was not.
Given the problems that my not-all-that-difficult name has provided (and trust me, "Rawls" was misspelled and mispronounced nearly as egregiously on its own; it's no wonder that I have name anxiety!), the idea of again choosing an author name with my new name gave me pause. Since I am sending in stories to magazines, I need to decide how I want my name to appear, should I be published. I want to keep my family name, but I don't like the hyphen all that much in my author name. I can't express why; it's strange. So, after much thinking and discussing with Bobby, I will be Dawn Rawls Loomis. Hopefully, should I be published, places can spell that correctly.
Honestly, I was tempted to keep Dawn Felagund, which causes far fewer problems, except for the fact that I write fantasy and so much of my audience has probably read Tolkien!
The moral of the story: Please do your friends and colleagues with hyphenated names a favor. Say/spell their names correctly. Both names; yes, they both count for equal weight. That is part of the point. And if you work in medical records, a more vigorous effort to do so is kindly appreciated.