oh yeah, well I slept in my car and had both my aunt and my grandma calling me...asking me where I was. Came home the next morning got most of my shit and took off, but not before playing the tug and war with my grandma who was btw the only person who tried to stop me.
Couldnt go the whole day without crying at least once, had to go talk to my school's fucking PSYCHOLOGIST!!! because I was so fucked up. She almost turned me away because I didnt have an appointment but when she realized how bloodshot in the eyes I was she sympathized. She tried to analyze the situation and told me a bunch of stuff I already knew...not only that but how about she spent the whole time trying to figure out why the fuck my mom would ever say some of the shit she said. Fuck, I thought I was so much stronger than this. After countless anxiety attacks and heavy breathing sessions, I told her I wasnt ready to go home. Day two of my car being home away from home was in the midst when I received countless calls from my grammy telling me she's suffering and in tears. To save my selfish self from any guilt I went back home, I feel like I was killing her...the closest thing to a stab in the back. I went to my room and slept...and guess what my lovely parents did...shut off my cable. What a way to push someone away, no? Ive done absolutely nothing wrong, I was verbally assaulted and now theyre trying to "punish" me. I dont even give a shit about the cable at all, Im ready to pull the entire box out myself...how's that for, I dont give a shit. I talked to my aunt and after hearing what my mom said to me she sat in silence from the harshness and unnecessary name calling. She said I would be okay and she knows of my strength and my capabilities, she knows Ill be okay...what she sees in me, Ill never know. I dont know where or what I feel right now, I cant leave my grandma, this "home" doesnt feel like a home and my fucking car is dying on me. Have you ever felt like screaming at everyone in the world just to see if you can find someone who understands, or someone who will offer a helping hand? Someone you dont have to smile for...thats what I want.
I obviously still love this woman, for whatever reason loyalties or just the simple fact that shes my mother but next time she says I love you...I dont think I have the heart to believe her.
I dont think you were expecting a rant but hey shit happens, on another note I want to see your hair. mmmhm.
ohhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! i'm so sorry. :( i text messaged you asking so i thought that's why you DID tell me here. ha, worked either way. that's some crazy shit! i feel bad. ugh parentsssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. i like how you totally defend yourself..i do too, but you get your mom right where she can't say much...but that obviously gets you no where but in more trouble :/ i've been in that situation where you just can't even think of the words to describe what's happening and your angry and sad and just mixed with emotions and don't know what to do or say. it sucks. i would have offered my place for you to sleep but my mom leaves at 5 am..so she'd of been like...who..what the fuck are you doing in my house? lol. but i felt bad! i hope things get better :/ ..i didn't think things were going to get THIS bad! well if you wanna avoid being home just holla at yo gurl. :D we can like go places and make fun of people..who are choking on their oxygen tank..lol omg im so kidding OMG THAT'S SO MEAN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...take care of that vehicle of yours. it's your one ticket of escape. if this didn't make sense excuse me, i did a 9 hour shift..it was hell.
motherfucker...how about this woman just talks to me like she didnt say a god damn thing.
you think she knows how wrong she really was or she just wants me to stop ignoring her...?
pick and choose, pick and choose. Ooh and speaking of my escape...my car died because of the massive amounts of driving Ive been doing, its partially fixed now. Im not completely fucked yet.
Lol, making fun of people with oxygen tanks, sounds like a plan.
Couldnt go the whole day without crying at least once, had to go talk to my school's fucking PSYCHOLOGIST!!! because I was so fucked up. She almost turned me away because I didnt have an appointment but when she realized how bloodshot in the eyes I was she sympathized. She tried to analyze the situation and told me a bunch of stuff I already knew...not only that but how about she spent the whole time trying to figure out why the fuck my mom would ever say some of the shit she said. Fuck, I thought I was so much stronger than this. After countless anxiety attacks and heavy breathing sessions, I told her I wasnt ready to go home. Day two of my car being home away from home was in the midst when I received countless calls from my grammy telling me she's suffering and in tears. To save my selfish self from any guilt I went back home, I feel like I was killing her...the closest thing to a stab in the back. I went to my room and slept...and guess what my lovely parents did...shut off my cable. What a way to push someone away, no? Ive done absolutely nothing wrong, I was verbally assaulted and now theyre trying to "punish" me. I dont even give a shit about the cable at all, Im ready to pull the entire box out myself...how's that for, I dont give a shit. I talked to my aunt and after hearing what my mom said to me she sat in silence from the harshness and unnecessary name calling. She said I would be okay and she knows of my strength and my capabilities, she knows Ill be okay...what she sees in me, Ill never know. I dont know where or what I feel right now, I cant leave my grandma, this "home" doesnt feel like a home and my fucking car is dying on me. Have you ever felt like screaming at everyone in the world just to see if you can find someone who understands, or someone who will offer a helping hand? Someone you dont have to smile for...thats what I want.
I obviously still love this woman, for whatever reason loyalties or just the simple fact that shes my mother but next time she says I love you...I dont think I have the heart to believe her.
I dont think you were expecting a rant but hey shit happens, on another note I want to see your hair. mmmhm.
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you think she knows how wrong she really was or she just wants me to stop ignoring her...?
pick and choose, pick and choose. Ooh and speaking of my escape...my car died because of the massive amounts of driving Ive been doing, its partially fixed now. Im not completely fucked yet.
Lol, making fun of people with oxygen tanks, sounds like a plan.
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