(no subject)
The doctor was fantastic. Didn't judge anything. His computer system was down, so couldn't see my notes. I told him absolutely everything.
I'm back on the Citalopram. He made me promise not to take too many of them, and would only give me one months supply! I've to go back and see him in 3 weeks.
I told him about my telling everyone what they wanted to hear, rather than the truth. I told him the truth about my overdose, the reasons why and the lead up to it, I told him about my Johns problem. I even told him about deciding the best way around things was to drive to Scotland and leave Bethany with my Mum, so that I knew she'd be safe when i put the hosepipe on my exhaust. He didn't judge me or make me feel like I'm some kind of bad person or that I'm weak. He explained a little more about the illness to me, I've been reading a lot more about it too.
There were 2 people in the room, my doctor and a student doc, the student one was very good with Bethany, she was laughing at him, he was waving and generally keeping her amused while i was crying and pouring my heart out to the doctor.
I feel so much better. I still didn't sleep properly last night, but had a nap this afternoon. Maybe tonight sleep will grace me with its presence!
I took the first tablet today. The doc said that I can really take it an any time of the day. Not just first thing in the morning. My plans for this are to get Bethany up out of bed in the morning, fed and dressed then pop her into her playpen with some toys, and take my tablet. That way she is safe and playing happilly during my "wobbly" hour. (I just get dizzy and feel spacey for about an hour after taking it)
Thank you so much for your support here and on e-mail. I really am grateful and glad that people do care about me.
Things are looking up. I do honestly feel positive about the future, no matter what it brings.
I live for my daughter and her happiness is the most important thing to me. If I am unhappy, she will feel it, perhaps not just now as shes still only little, but I know she will in the future and that in turn will make her unhappy. That is not going to happen. I have every right to have a happy life and provide a wonderful happy and loving environment for my beautiful daughter to grow up in.
Thank you for caring.
I'm back on the Citalopram. He made me promise not to take too many of them, and would only give me one months supply! I've to go back and see him in 3 weeks.
I told him about my telling everyone what they wanted to hear, rather than the truth. I told him the truth about my overdose, the reasons why and the lead up to it, I told him about my Johns problem. I even told him about deciding the best way around things was to drive to Scotland and leave Bethany with my Mum, so that I knew she'd be safe when i put the hosepipe on my exhaust. He didn't judge me or make me feel like I'm some kind of bad person or that I'm weak. He explained a little more about the illness to me, I've been reading a lot more about it too.
There were 2 people in the room, my doctor and a student doc, the student one was very good with Bethany, she was laughing at him, he was waving and generally keeping her amused while i was crying and pouring my heart out to the doctor.
I feel so much better. I still didn't sleep properly last night, but had a nap this afternoon. Maybe tonight sleep will grace me with its presence!
I took the first tablet today. The doc said that I can really take it an any time of the day. Not just first thing in the morning. My plans for this are to get Bethany up out of bed in the morning, fed and dressed then pop her into her playpen with some toys, and take my tablet. That way she is safe and playing happilly during my "wobbly" hour. (I just get dizzy and feel spacey for about an hour after taking it)
Thank you so much for your support here and on e-mail. I really am grateful and glad that people do care about me.
Things are looking up. I do honestly feel positive about the future, no matter what it brings.
I live for my daughter and her happiness is the most important thing to me. If I am unhappy, she will feel it, perhaps not just now as shes still only little, but I know she will in the future and that in turn will make her unhappy. That is not going to happen. I have every right to have a happy life and provide a wonderful happy and loving environment for my beautiful daughter to grow up in.
Thank you for caring.