(no subject)
After an extremely frustrating day where I wasted both 8.0 hours of PTO (and got a "demerit" at work for having an emergency/unscheduled dental appt,) plus spent most of my day chasing down a pharmacy to fill my Rx, and then unsuccessfully trying to locate an Endodontist who is accepting new patients and might fit me in at the last minute - which as you know would be a miracle on Earth, I decided to consume half a bottle of wine and paired it with homemade chili & cheddar cheese, Halloween candy, then salted-caramel hot chocolate while watching my favorite October movies.
It was the best course of action. Today I'm feeling more positive, don't feel like committing mass genocide, and have actually managed to not only to clean dishes, but cook and eat healthy food. Sure, it's nearly 2 PM and normally my day would be halfway over, but not this time. Tonight I'm going to Casa Tina's "Dia de Los Muertos" event and then Guavaween. I wanted to see the "March of the Pumpkin King" parade, but I don't think I'll make it out to Ybor in time. Oh well, I'm not going to stress.
I've spent the greater part of three months dealing with depression, anger and confusion. These things combined with my social anxiety have crippled me in a lack of action. You might have noticed that I haven't been as social? While healing at home I've been practicing stillness. I can't truly call it prayer or even meditation. Stillness seems to be the correct word. This has been beneficial and gave me perspective.
However, now that I'm in a better place mentally, I'm trying to do things that might push me out of my comfort zone, but ultimately benefit me in a variety of ways. The remaining months of 2016 and leading into the new year, I'm following a new motto "Feel the fear and do it anyway...or don't and be comfortable." Yin & Yang. Black, white and all the grey in between. Such is the ebb and flow of life.
It was the best course of action. Today I'm feeling more positive, don't feel like committing mass genocide, and have actually managed to not only to clean dishes, but cook and eat healthy food. Sure, it's nearly 2 PM and normally my day would be halfway over, but not this time. Tonight I'm going to Casa Tina's "Dia de Los Muertos" event and then Guavaween. I wanted to see the "March of the Pumpkin King" parade, but I don't think I'll make it out to Ybor in time. Oh well, I'm not going to stress.
I've spent the greater part of three months dealing with depression, anger and confusion. These things combined with my social anxiety have crippled me in a lack of action. You might have noticed that I haven't been as social? While healing at home I've been practicing stillness. I can't truly call it prayer or even meditation. Stillness seems to be the correct word. This has been beneficial and gave me perspective.
However, now that I'm in a better place mentally, I'm trying to do things that might push me out of my comfort zone, but ultimately benefit me in a variety of ways. The remaining months of 2016 and leading into the new year, I'm following a new motto "Feel the fear and do it anyway...or don't and be comfortable." Yin & Yang. Black, white and all the grey in between. Such is the ebb and flow of life.