Writer's Block: Mix and Mingle
Things are coming to an end.
All the stress of concentrated, accelerated classes will be over soon. Stress of occupation (or currently lack of it) and financial stress to continue.
Somedays I just want to drive for hours, stop someplace with a view and lose myself in alchohal and friends.
I took my last exam this morning, really nervous about how I did, because If I don't get straight A's this quarter I loose my scholarship.
Losing my scholarship means:
Not moving out.
Working more than 40hours a week to pay for school, at a job I hate! Because I can't afford unpaid training programs.
Having to pay for school on a payment plan, because I won't be able to afford tuition when it is due,
But mostly , becoming vastly depressed with myself over not being able to keep a 3.2 GPA,
The inevitable reevaluating of myself to see if I'm smart enough to make it through med school and have the drive to do so. I think the later is there if the former is not.
Losing my scholarship means the military is more enticing. Though that has been slowly coming to me for a while now. I want to serve my country. Never used to think I could fit into the military lifestyle very well though.
I'm signing up for ROTC Airforce in the fall. I don't have to sign a contract to Uncle Sam until next year so I'll get a feel for it before I make a final decision. Signing up for ROTC makes me nervous. I'm a bit afraid that even if I don't like it I'll do it anyway because I have a problem with quiting things. For some reason I have a western movie state of mind, that it makes you a better person if you tough out a difficult time/situation and a yellow-bellied-two-timing-backstabbing-pussy if you don't. I may have to work on that.
I've been working out a lot recently, but I never lose/gain weight, been really eating healthily for maybe 2 months now. Well except for the unavoidable exam stress induced dollar menu because its 1030 when i get home and I don't want to cook. hopefully that will get better now that I'm done with school after I turn in this last paper (on 12th Night and Shakespeare in Love) its deadlined for Thursday. Why oh why did I ever pride myself on thinness? at least I bulked up a little.
I want to get back into music again. This inadvertant hiatus has been too long. Anyone looking for a trumpet?
Smile it"ll make somebody's day,
-davy
All the stress of concentrated, accelerated classes will be over soon. Stress of occupation (or currently lack of it) and financial stress to continue.
Somedays I just want to drive for hours, stop someplace with a view and lose myself in alchohal and friends.
I took my last exam this morning, really nervous about how I did, because If I don't get straight A's this quarter I loose my scholarship.
Losing my scholarship means:
Not moving out.
Working more than 40hours a week to pay for school, at a job I hate! Because I can't afford unpaid training programs.
Having to pay for school on a payment plan, because I won't be able to afford tuition when it is due,
But mostly , becoming vastly depressed with myself over not being able to keep a 3.2 GPA,
The inevitable reevaluating of myself to see if I'm smart enough to make it through med school and have the drive to do so. I think the later is there if the former is not.
Losing my scholarship means the military is more enticing. Though that has been slowly coming to me for a while now. I want to serve my country. Never used to think I could fit into the military lifestyle very well though.
I'm signing up for ROTC Airforce in the fall. I don't have to sign a contract to Uncle Sam until next year so I'll get a feel for it before I make a final decision. Signing up for ROTC makes me nervous. I'm a bit afraid that even if I don't like it I'll do it anyway because I have a problem with quiting things. For some reason I have a western movie state of mind, that it makes you a better person if you tough out a difficult time/situation and a yellow-bellied-two-timing-backstabbing-pussy if you don't. I may have to work on that.
I've been working out a lot recently, but I never lose/gain weight, been really eating healthily for maybe 2 months now. Well except for the unavoidable exam stress induced dollar menu because its 1030 when i get home and I don't want to cook. hopefully that will get better now that I'm done with school after I turn in this last paper (on 12th Night and Shakespeare in Love) its deadlined for Thursday. Why oh why did I ever pride myself on thinness? at least I bulked up a little.
I want to get back into music again. This inadvertant hiatus has been too long. Anyone looking for a trumpet?
Smile it"ll make somebody's day,
-davy