Full of win
Originally published at Not Serena. Please leave any comments there.
You guys, I graduated.
(This is about as climactic as it’s going to get, as I am a Fall graduate without any pomp or circumstance or tassels or stupid Mylar balloons, so bear with me.)
The weird thing is, I feel as lost as I did before I came back to school. This feeling is really disconcerting, thus the turn to the old bloggy-blog.
There is one really important emotion that keeps bubbling to the top, one that needs to be shared, and it is that I am grateful for everyone who supported me on any leg of this meandering journey. I have stopped and stalled so many times, for a variety of reasons that still seem valid. So, if you are that special person on the East Coast who proofed my admission essay to UW, or if you are the ex who played cheerleader while I decided to make the leap from underemployed cubicle monkey to starving non-traditional student, or if you are the high school best friend who always believed in me, take whatever pride you are feeling for my and firmly take it for yourself. Seriously. While my immediate family may habitually fail at supporting me, you all have believed in me. I owe whatever future accolades or successes to you.
Expressive outburst aside, I keep asking myself, “so, now what?” The cringe-inducing question about future plans makes me want to bury my head in the sand until everyone forgets I graduated. Grad school is out of the question as I stare at the $40,000+ student loan debt. I am trying to hustle as hard as I can to find my dream job while I have the luxury of full-time employment until April. I am furiously reading The Anti 9-5 Guide (generously gifted by another amazing friend) trying to find networking and career advice for the introverted and quirky.
Earlier today, I was frantically describing my job search to a poor innocent, and watched as my chaos and stress steam-rolled right over her. It was in that moment that I realized I iust need to breathe. It’s so cliched, and there is nothing that annoys me more than writing Hallmark-ed, overwrought cliches on my corner of the ‘tubes. But, there you go: I love you all, and just breathe.
Enjoy your holidays.