Aug 01, 2009 00:13
So, this has been a question which has bugged me ever since I got my first job. Being professional vs. being who and how I am. I haven't been "David" since middle school. Since the beginning of HS I have gone by the name of "Davi" or "Dav" or some similar enough name. Honestly, it feels weird when telemarketers or professors call me "David". It feels as if they are talking to someone else.
And to be honest, to my insane mind, "Davi" and "David" are two entirely different beings. Now, let's ignore their nicknames "Davi" has "Dav" and "David" has "Dave" (the latter of them all being one I despise, moving on), and I'll explain the difference. "David" is a strong, well known and common name which served me well and can serve me well in the future. That name can give me a bit of credibility and stability as well. However, "Davi" (in the US at least) is unique. I made it up in HS because it sounded frenchy to me (lo and behold, come to college and find out it's a common Jewish nickname in Israel, ah vell). "Davi" has truly become the image I wish to become: smart, quirky, new, spontaneous and lively.
To my fractured mind, when someone calls me one or the other, I actually will change (in minor or major ways depending on the situation) to which name they called me. If someone calls me "David", I act a bit more formal and stiff, but always still polite and kind. Now, let's pretend I'm around a professor who calls me "David". Now, imagine if a friend walks up, joins the convo, and refers to me as "Davi". My mind will start to switch to more a personal, loving, and caring attitude in regards to that friend. However, if someone who I was not close to or cared about tried to call me "Davi", I would probably become agitated or hostile towards them. Likewise with a friend should they dare call me "David". Something that formal doesn't belong in friendships.
Hmm. But that's not the issue. When I grow up and become a real big person (fuck, that's in like, 2 years), I'll have bosses OUTSIDE of Residence Life and Housing (FUCK!) who probably won't be as nice, easy going, or lovers of individuality like most Res Life staffies. If I say that my name is "Davi", they'll look at my paperwork (which will say David) and call me batshit crazy. I don't want "Davi" to become that exclusive VIP status privilege that only a few people can call me. It either must become my name ... or vanish?
I don't want to transition into becoming "David". It's kind of like Peter Pan having to grow up. It's scary, odd, awkward and just not how I want my life (or my name) to be.
As a language major, I've come to realize that EVERY word, each and every word, has its own unique meaning. Fuck synonyms. Sure, some words come CLOSE to the same meaning, but no two words can have the same equivalence to the either of a language major. Names are the exact same thing.
Example: You randomly meet a girl named Jenny. Think for a moment of how she might be. Now what if her name was Susan. Does a different image come to mind? Or is it the same. If it was the same, you don't have any idea why I'm fussing over "David" vs. "Davi". If you saw the difference between Jenny and Susan, you probably can slightly understand my predicament.
Way back in the day, people actually thought about naming their child to help guide that child down a path. This one name meant strength, that one meant patience, blah dee blah. I'm sure that some people still do, but I don't think there's as much of an emphasis on the subtle hidden meanings and nuances behind names anymore.
I love subtly and nuance. These two things make up the most important (and interesting) things in the world. That will be another blog for another time, tho.
Do y'all think if I legally changed my name to "Davi", that I could still get a teaching job? I don't see it as a hindrance, but then again, I'm a nutjob belonging to a very small percentage of language based thinking. Ah vell, time will tell, =)