Cold December Night (on a November day)
I haven't used this much in the recent past. Been really busy with school work and regular work, but since I had some big things happen, I figured I'd put it all here as a general update.
First, I'm now going to school at Kent State University for Integrated Language Arts (read that as "high school English education"). I commute Monday through Friday, and I'm taking five classes (Linguistics, Great Books Since 1700 [all about the Enlightenment], Intro to Literary Study [a class on literary criticism], Media Power & Culture [journalism], and Intro to Exceptionalities [special ed]). I'm doing very well, though I'm finding it difficult to keep my motivation up these days (more on that in a bit). I have about three weeks left of this semester, and then I get to get ready for next semester, when I take six classes (Fairy Tales, Fundamental English Grammar, Newswriting, Intro to Women's Lit, Educational Psychology, and Art of Theatre).
I also got a new car--a 2005 Toyota Prius. I needed something with better gas mileage since I'm commuting to and from Kent every day, and I needed something that wouldn't cost more than it's worth to keep running (the brakes and the clutch alone on the Civic would cost more than it was worth to fix). I love my new space ship. It has power everything, it's roomier, it rides smoother, and it has a little beepy-key, so I can just walk up to the car, not have to press the button, and it unlocks when I put my hand on the handle--as long as I have the key on me. It also has a CD player (6-disc changer, I think, but I haven't tested it), and though I would have loved a USB port, I'm not too sad about not having one. It still has a cassette player, so I can use the adapter I had in Cal. It's so cool!
It's also because of the new car that I can afford to go home for the first time in two years this December. I'll be driving there on the 13th and staying until the 21st (I think). I know I'll be going to visit my mom and them down on the Cape for a day, and I'll be heading up to Warner and Concord (possibly) for another day, and at some point I'll want to see a couple friends (though I'm not sure if some want to see me, but I know at least one does), but I know that I want to spend a while just visiting my dad (and maybe Heather, though no one knows just what is going on with her, and I'm not too sure I really want to see her--not so much more on that, as it's sort of more personal and I just don't feel like going into it). I don't know what my dad and I will want to do, but we'll find something. He's even taking time off of work, which will be nice.
Another big thing that has happened is my finding a therapist. I've known for a while that there's just something about my head/mind/brain that isn't...right. I have more mood swings and anxiety than a typical person should, and it's been getting worse the more time passes. My aunt and I did some research on what I feel and I described to her and we think part of it is something called cyclothymia, which is like a lesser version of bi-polar, which is something my mom was thought to have (among other things). I went on birth control to help regulate the cycles, and it worked for a few months, but now it's gotten worse. I've had two or three anxiety/panic attacks, one of them actually kind of bad and I had to have a friend stay with me for a bit to make sure I was okay. My doctor thinks it's starting to move more toward actual bi-polar, and my aunt says there's more baggage in my mind than just that, and we agreed that I should find someone to see about it. I made an appointment with a therapist today for next Wednesday, and we'll see what happens after that. I just want to get some things worked out before I go into a school system and it's no longer so easy to work with.
Anyway, I can't think of anything else to say or anything else that needs to be said, so until next time! ...Whenever that is.
First, I'm now going to school at Kent State University for Integrated Language Arts (read that as "high school English education"). I commute Monday through Friday, and I'm taking five classes (Linguistics, Great Books Since 1700 [all about the Enlightenment], Intro to Literary Study [a class on literary criticism], Media Power & Culture [journalism], and Intro to Exceptionalities [special ed]). I'm doing very well, though I'm finding it difficult to keep my motivation up these days (more on that in a bit). I have about three weeks left of this semester, and then I get to get ready for next semester, when I take six classes (Fairy Tales, Fundamental English Grammar, Newswriting, Intro to Women's Lit, Educational Psychology, and Art of Theatre).
I also got a new car--a 2005 Toyota Prius. I needed something with better gas mileage since I'm commuting to and from Kent every day, and I needed something that wouldn't cost more than it's worth to keep running (the brakes and the clutch alone on the Civic would cost more than it was worth to fix). I love my new space ship. It has power everything, it's roomier, it rides smoother, and it has a little beepy-key, so I can just walk up to the car, not have to press the button, and it unlocks when I put my hand on the handle--as long as I have the key on me. It also has a CD player (6-disc changer, I think, but I haven't tested it), and though I would have loved a USB port, I'm not too sad about not having one. It still has a cassette player, so I can use the adapter I had in Cal. It's so cool!
It's also because of the new car that I can afford to go home for the first time in two years this December. I'll be driving there on the 13th and staying until the 21st (I think). I know I'll be going to visit my mom and them down on the Cape for a day, and I'll be heading up to Warner and Concord (possibly) for another day, and at some point I'll want to see a couple friends (though I'm not sure if some want to see me, but I know at least one does), but I know that I want to spend a while just visiting my dad (and maybe Heather, though no one knows just what is going on with her, and I'm not too sure I really want to see her--not so much more on that, as it's sort of more personal and I just don't feel like going into it). I don't know what my dad and I will want to do, but we'll find something. He's even taking time off of work, which will be nice.
Another big thing that has happened is my finding a therapist. I've known for a while that there's just something about my head/mind/brain that isn't...right. I have more mood swings and anxiety than a typical person should, and it's been getting worse the more time passes. My aunt and I did some research on what I feel and I described to her and we think part of it is something called cyclothymia, which is like a lesser version of bi-polar, which is something my mom was thought to have (among other things). I went on birth control to help regulate the cycles, and it worked for a few months, but now it's gotten worse. I've had two or three anxiety/panic attacks, one of them actually kind of bad and I had to have a friend stay with me for a bit to make sure I was okay. My doctor thinks it's starting to move more toward actual bi-polar, and my aunt says there's more baggage in my mind than just that, and we agreed that I should find someone to see about it. I made an appointment with a therapist today for next Wednesday, and we'll see what happens after that. I just want to get some things worked out before I go into a school system and it's no longer so easy to work with.
Anyway, I can't think of anything else to say or anything else that needs to be said, so until next time! ...Whenever that is.