(no subject)
Today I was reading a quote where Elton John talked about how Americans are so obsessed with their careers and are so tense. I can't help but agree. My whole life, especially the past few years, all I could ever think about was my career and dream. It consumed me and I could not fathom how anyone could think about anything else. Seeing my peers sit and school not knowing what they want drove me nuts. Seeing my peers in strange relationships and not thinking about the big prize in life drove me mad.
But now for the first time in my life,my career is not the first thing on my brain when I wake up in the morning. When I wake up now I think of her. It's liberating to have these feelings and not being tied down to the stress of chasing a wild dream. The dream however is still there and actually is stronger then ever. But the reason why I was so into the career goal and over analyzing everything in my mind was that I was compensating for something I didn't have. I was burying the frustration of not being able to love. I actually ended up doing less career wise because of the stress. However, right now as I sit here able to profess love, I've never been so inspired as much as I have been the past month. The void in my life has been filled with a blessing. My goal now is to combine the two worlds and for lack of a better term; pimp these emotions into beauty. Horribly put yes, but too true.
But now for the first time in my life,my career is not the first thing on my brain when I wake up in the morning. When I wake up now I think of her. It's liberating to have these feelings and not being tied down to the stress of chasing a wild dream. The dream however is still there and actually is stronger then ever. But the reason why I was so into the career goal and over analyzing everything in my mind was that I was compensating for something I didn't have. I was burying the frustration of not being able to love. I actually ended up doing less career wise because of the stress. However, right now as I sit here able to profess love, I've never been so inspired as much as I have been the past month. The void in my life has been filled with a blessing. My goal now is to combine the two worlds and for lack of a better term; pimp these emotions into beauty. Horribly put yes, but too true.