Giant steps are what I take, but I'm walking on the moon!
Click to viewHeaven help me!! Please! Everything is coming up roses but everything is falling apart! How can I stir up such hatred and mistrust in one I once loved, and and indeed still would if she hadn't described me as a pervert when I said I wanted to be a woman. Ann is married and we are simply, or rather were, exceptionally good friends, indeed she described me as her life or eternity partner. We have had great times together and in life she has given me lots of support after my marriage fell apart and so did I to her when her husband all-but died of a heart attack and she was diagnosed with cancer.
But yesterday we had a huge argument, which I suppose you could describe as a true 'high volume discussion', as I attempted to get her e-mail working again, as she wouldn't let me onto her PC as it had 'commercial in confidence information' on it. She's an Accountant and maths is by far my worst ever subject so what was the problem if I saw any information, I wouldn't have understand a single figure even if I had been interested, and of course I wasn't. But I saw her unwillingness to let me sort out the e-mail problem as a total lack of trust in me.
To have tried to help and effectively had my offer of help totally rejected made me ever so angry, especially after all the faith I had in Ann. She had so evidently rejected me months ago, whereas I was still hoping against hope that our relationship may have a future. Indeed I though we could have ended up living together as sisters. The problem being that when I do get really angry my 'volume switch' breaks and I shout really loudly!! Indeed, my mother was shocked quite recently by the volume of my shouts!
Because of the volume Ann got frightened and called the police!!! Hence the Police video above! When the police arrived they could tell at once I was not a violent person and once they heard the story they could see why I had 'lost it'
Sadly the biggest step I took this week was one I never wanted to happen and my Significant Other (SO) is that no longer!! I have enough to worry about achieving my dream without letting someone else's (basically) petty problems and her wish to not cause any offence to anyone control my life.
As for the other giant steps this girl keeps getting closer to fully coming out which I will blog about soon, and as I promised a week ago I WILL continue with revealing more about what 'hell' Phoebe put this girl through! But despite the huge negative of the death of a relationship I had come to rely on, I feel totally out of this world that my dream is so close to becoming a reality, indeed in my mind I really am 'Walking on the moon'!!!