My second Mother's Day (well, almost).
And here it is. I will admit that I spent a little bit of time in the last few weeks feeling anxiety about this weekend. I was afraid that it would turn out like last weekend... With the closest Keith and I have ever come to fighting, with feelings of emptiness and unworthiness. It was painful to not be recognized as a mother by my stepkids and my husband on my first Mother's Day, and as the time drew nearer to it this year, I did feel some fear that I'd have the same problem over again.
Thus far, however, it has been nothing like that. The only downer about this weekend so far has been the fact that my uterus hates me today and I also woke up with a splitting headache.
Keith and the kids presented me with a gift card from Douglas J. for a massage today, which was extremely exciting because I had my very first massage there last month (another present from Keith) and it was heavenly. Then, we all went out to dinner to celebrate Mother's Day, my graduation, and Ben's completion of ISHALL. After dinner, we went to see the movie The Avengers, which was as good as a superhero movie can be. I liked it a lot, but wouldn't say it was phenomenal, or better than some other superhero movies I've seen.
Here's the best part so far, though. It seems silly and sentimental, but it just highlights the true power of words.
My son said "Happy Mother's Day!" to me as Keith got them in the car to go to their mom's.
You might laugh at how trifling that may seem, or you might just smirk because it takes so little to make me happy. But to have him - not even Katie, but Ben - say that to me... It means a world of difference and brought me to tears. I have a great relationship with Katie and we get along well. I think I have a good relationship with Ben, but I also know that his loyalty to his mom prevents him from truly accepting my love and my position in his life. To have him turn to me and say that from the car... Not on the fly, not in passing, but lean out, wave, and tell me that... I need nothing else for this holiday, and it hasn't even really officially started yet.
I don't know what else will happen tomorrow - Keith and I are going to my grandma's house for Mother's Day to celebrate with my mom, Grandma, Aunt Ruthie, and Uncle Rick.
Whatever it is, it probably won't top Ben's smile and wave.
Thus far, however, it has been nothing like that. The only downer about this weekend so far has been the fact that my uterus hates me today and I also woke up with a splitting headache.
Keith and the kids presented me with a gift card from Douglas J. for a massage today, which was extremely exciting because I had my very first massage there last month (another present from Keith) and it was heavenly. Then, we all went out to dinner to celebrate Mother's Day, my graduation, and Ben's completion of ISHALL. After dinner, we went to see the movie The Avengers, which was as good as a superhero movie can be. I liked it a lot, but wouldn't say it was phenomenal, or better than some other superhero movies I've seen.
Here's the best part so far, though. It seems silly and sentimental, but it just highlights the true power of words.
My son said "Happy Mother's Day!" to me as Keith got them in the car to go to their mom's.
You might laugh at how trifling that may seem, or you might just smirk because it takes so little to make me happy. But to have him - not even Katie, but Ben - say that to me... It means a world of difference and brought me to tears. I have a great relationship with Katie and we get along well. I think I have a good relationship with Ben, but I also know that his loyalty to his mom prevents him from truly accepting my love and my position in his life. To have him turn to me and say that from the car... Not on the fly, not in passing, but lean out, wave, and tell me that... I need nothing else for this holiday, and it hasn't even really officially started yet.
I don't know what else will happen tomorrow - Keith and I are going to my grandma's house for Mother's Day to celebrate with my mom, Grandma, Aunt Ruthie, and Uncle Rick.
Whatever it is, it probably won't top Ben's smile and wave.