Joke Day!!
Hospital Stay
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.
Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to
live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in
and change her hair colour. Since she had so much more time to live,
she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last
operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street
on her way home, she was struck and killedby an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
The telephone call
Hello?
Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?
No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Frank.
Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.
Brief Pause
Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on
the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to
Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
Okay Daddy, just a minute.
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
I did it Daddy.
And what happened honey?" he asked.
Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the
dresser and now she isn't moving at all!
Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?
He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and
he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess
he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit
the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, Swimming pool??...Is this 555-7039?
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.
Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to
live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in
and change her hair colour. Since she had so much more time to live,
she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last
operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street
on her way home, she was struck and killedby an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
The telephone call
Hello?
Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?
No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Frank.
Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.
Brief Pause
Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on
the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to
Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
Okay Daddy, just a minute.
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
I did it Daddy.
And what happened honey?" he asked.
Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the
dresser and now she isn't moving at all!
Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?
He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and
he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess
he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit
the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, Swimming pool??...Is this 555-7039?