Ban-Proof Books
The Ban-Proof Bookshelf
Don't you just hate having your day interrupted to deal with a book challenge? Whether it's in the form of a shouting parent, a sign-waving picket line, or a smoldering pile of burning books setting off the sprinklers in the YA section, there's nothing like a protest to put a crimp in a peaceful afternoon spent monitoring Internet surfing or helping ninety-six eighth graders find information about some obscure prehistoric trilobite that nobody except their teacher has ever heard of. It might seem as if every book is going to offend some group. But that's not the case. There are some books that nobody could possibly object to. They are ban proof. It is our pleasure to provide the following list.
Mommy Has Two Heathers - a touching story about a woman who is so startled to give birth to twins that she completely fails to come up with a second name and ends up calling them both “Heather.”
The Handmaid's Towel - a servant works hard to ensure there are no chapped fingers in her household.
Where the Mild Things Are - To help his parents cope with the stresses of life, a teen crosses the country in search of the blandest food, tamest tourist spots, and least-threatening people. He stays in the right lane throughout the book.
The Bluest Pie - Hijinks abound at the state fair bake-off when a young girl whose family has always made apple pies finds herself envying her neighbor's berries.
Flowers for Algebra - a young math prodigy decides to brighten the classroom of his favorite subject with a bouquet of daffodils.
Huckleberry Fawn - an oddly colored deer takes a walk through the forest. Nobody shoots at her.
Private Ports - Howard Stern discusses secluded places to dock a yacht.
Lady Chatterley’s Liver - a genteel cookbook, emphasizing the use of organ meats and fresh produce from the garden.
The Story of O. Henry - coming in at a terse three pages, this is probably one of the shortest novels ever published (not counting those written in verse). Readers will love the twist ending.
One Flue Over the Couscous Nest - A pair of hard-working students spend the summer repairing the ventilation system of a Mediterranean restaurant in this multicultural romp.
You can read the full list, along with scads of other humor pieces for readers, writers, and home brewers, in It Seemed Funny at the Time: A Large Collection of Short Humor.