Too Long
You know it's been way too long since I last updated when my sister reminds me I need to.
Well, here it is:
FUCK
July 2nd through the 10th. Those were the days Scyler, a bunch of his friends and I were going to be in San Francisco. I'd be able to be with Scyler and all will be happy and right for once in my gods damned miserable life. Not only would I be able to be with the man I have fallen for, but I'd get out of this gods-forsaken prison known as Kelso. For a little over a week I wouldn't have to worry about school, work, cleaning that damn dance studio or babysitting my brother 24/7 and I'd actually have some fun by going on a night ghost tour of Alcatraz, going to Great Adventure and just going on normal dates with Scyler. Haha, but do you think something like that would happen? Do you think something like that would go right? Hell Fucking No.
Things were looking like they were finally fitting together for me. Were.
My parents, they say they trust my judgment. They said that he must be a great guy if I fell for him so much. BUT the whole time I would be down there, they'd be on pins and needles worrying about me, wondering if I would be jumped on the streets, wondering if they would be getting a phone call home saying I was dead. And so on and so fucking on. Then they said that since I'm over 18 years old that they know they couldn't say no, but I could tell they wanted to.
Just the idea of this trip has made me overly happy the past few weeks and everyone noticed. My co-worker even mentioned that it was good to see me happy again since that break down I had a while ago.
Of course I told Scyler of my parents reaction, and he was sad that he was making my parents so nervous. He even mentioned he knew that if his daughter did something like this, and she was my age, that he would probably be worse than my parents were.
So today roles around. Scyler pops online, and one of the first things Scyler and I talked about was that he didn't want my parents to be worried and wanted to have them more at ease. So he didn't think it would be a good idea if I went down there with him...
I felt really bad for Shaun, because when he came to that decision he was crying, and he kept on crying for the rest of the day.
I just finished deleting my request for time off at work. That sucked.
And escaping this hell-hole anytime soon seems impossible now. I know some day I will be able to be with Scyler, that part I'm not worried about. But this non-stop rut I've gotten in has really been eating away at me and I need a change soon, just to refresh myself. If something doesn't happen soon, I don't know how I'm going to react.
Well, here it is:
FUCK
July 2nd through the 10th. Those were the days Scyler, a bunch of his friends and I were going to be in San Francisco. I'd be able to be with Scyler and all will be happy and right for once in my gods damned miserable life. Not only would I be able to be with the man I have fallen for, but I'd get out of this gods-forsaken prison known as Kelso. For a little over a week I wouldn't have to worry about school, work, cleaning that damn dance studio or babysitting my brother 24/7 and I'd actually have some fun by going on a night ghost tour of Alcatraz, going to Great Adventure and just going on normal dates with Scyler. Haha, but do you think something like that would happen? Do you think something like that would go right? Hell Fucking No.
Things were looking like they were finally fitting together for me. Were.
My parents, they say they trust my judgment. They said that he must be a great guy if I fell for him so much. BUT the whole time I would be down there, they'd be on pins and needles worrying about me, wondering if I would be jumped on the streets, wondering if they would be getting a phone call home saying I was dead. And so on and so fucking on. Then they said that since I'm over 18 years old that they know they couldn't say no, but I could tell they wanted to.
Just the idea of this trip has made me overly happy the past few weeks and everyone noticed. My co-worker even mentioned that it was good to see me happy again since that break down I had a while ago.
Of course I told Scyler of my parents reaction, and he was sad that he was making my parents so nervous. He even mentioned he knew that if his daughter did something like this, and she was my age, that he would probably be worse than my parents were.
So today roles around. Scyler pops online, and one of the first things Scyler and I talked about was that he didn't want my parents to be worried and wanted to have them more at ease. So he didn't think it would be a good idea if I went down there with him...
I felt really bad for Shaun, because when he came to that decision he was crying, and he kept on crying for the rest of the day.
I just finished deleting my request for time off at work. That sucked.
And escaping this hell-hole anytime soon seems impossible now. I know some day I will be able to be with Scyler, that part I'm not worried about. But this non-stop rut I've gotten in has really been eating away at me and I need a change soon, just to refresh myself. If something doesn't happen soon, I don't know how I'm going to react.