(no subject)
Ok, so many not the last entry..
So, I've been trying my best to move forward with my life.
I quit a job i grew to hate (ICT)
i moved home to go to school (CNA welder 9 mths)
i have a good paying job (that in one 40hr week made me as much as i was getting for two weeks at ict)
Doing good right. The last piece is a relationship, so sort of normal stable connection with someone (obviously in this case a girl). And there is someone. I haven't talked about her here. I met her in November on POF (plenty of fish). We didn't hit it right off. It was actually a month or two before we talked, and even longer before we went out. She works away for several week, several times during the year, she's a geologies. I've had some great conversations with her about life, where see our-self in each respective future, even tried a few new places to eat. She's not perfect, she has some major trust issues ( but who doesn't ). Our relationship has been purely friendly thus far, hell i only kissed her on the cheek today. She goes back to camp in a few weeks and doesn't want to have wanting to come home on her mind as she'll be there for 5 weeks.
Anyway the point, I dunno how i feel about this. Do i just want to screw her cus she's a very pretty girl, nice body, D cups that look amazing the few (very very small bits of cleavage), or do i actually want a relationship now.
Now the problem, why cant i stop seeing images of Kristie. Is it that Jet (the girl ive been seeing) has a similar body shape to her that causing it? Is it the fact Kristie's still on my mind, not as often as she use to be but more often then she should be. Am i still wanting to be the person she always told me i could be but I'm only there now. Or am i so worried about trying to be in a committed relationship (and very scared of failing) that im looking for a way out before it gets going? I wish i knew. Maybe you do anonymous?
Anyway the images. I took her out to dinner, bought flowers and chocolate, dinner, an enjoyable afternoon. I seen Kristie when she laughed at something i said, when she told me she could finish the dessert we ordered, when i was walking out behind her, when i was in her car in the passenger seat i wanted to take her hand like i would do with kristie when we would drive around together. Ugh.. Why i am still so broken over this..
Thats my ramblings for another night.
So, I've been trying my best to move forward with my life.
I quit a job i grew to hate (ICT)
i moved home to go to school (CNA welder 9 mths)
i have a good paying job (that in one 40hr week made me as much as i was getting for two weeks at ict)
Doing good right. The last piece is a relationship, so sort of normal stable connection with someone (obviously in this case a girl). And there is someone. I haven't talked about her here. I met her in November on POF (plenty of fish). We didn't hit it right off. It was actually a month or two before we talked, and even longer before we went out. She works away for several week, several times during the year, she's a geologies. I've had some great conversations with her about life, where see our-self in each respective future, even tried a few new places to eat. She's not perfect, she has some major trust issues ( but who doesn't ). Our relationship has been purely friendly thus far, hell i only kissed her on the cheek today. She goes back to camp in a few weeks and doesn't want to have wanting to come home on her mind as she'll be there for 5 weeks.
Anyway the point, I dunno how i feel about this. Do i just want to screw her cus she's a very pretty girl, nice body, D cups that look amazing the few (very very small bits of cleavage), or do i actually want a relationship now.
Now the problem, why cant i stop seeing images of Kristie. Is it that Jet (the girl ive been seeing) has a similar body shape to her that causing it? Is it the fact Kristie's still on my mind, not as often as she use to be but more often then she should be. Am i still wanting to be the person she always told me i could be but I'm only there now. Or am i so worried about trying to be in a committed relationship (and very scared of failing) that im looking for a way out before it gets going? I wish i knew. Maybe you do anonymous?
Anyway the images. I took her out to dinner, bought flowers and chocolate, dinner, an enjoyable afternoon. I seen Kristie when she laughed at something i said, when she told me she could finish the dessert we ordered, when i was walking out behind her, when i was in her car in the passenger seat i wanted to take her hand like i would do with kristie when we would drive around together. Ugh.. Why i am still so broken over this..
Thats my ramblings for another night.