I'm a completely different person and a computer hacker
I just spent half an hour trying to remember the password to this thing so I could write this post. Finally got it.
Wow. I clicked into my journal by mistake (it's still in my favorites, right by facebook, but I never look at it) and decided to go back to the beginning and read some entries from my angsty high school days.
I know I was an angry kid in high school, but I forgot just how fucking FURIOUS I was at the world for being what it is. And for the first time in five years, I'm going to admit something that at the time I would rather have died than to say. I was wrong about shit. A LOT of shit. Man, if I could go back in time and visit the younger version of myself I'd drop a little of the wisdom I've collected in the five years since the fanaticism of my religious post, or the hate and fear fueled "take this to heart" post, words would probably fail me though. I'd probably just slap myself. And I think my younger self would understand, fully.
It's fascinating to look at this thing from the position I'm in today, as a future high school teacher. All of my social conditioning, all of the fear, the anger, the anxiety and needy awkwardness of my tenth to twelfth grade years is captured here, a crystallized vision of what it's like to be in high school. I suppose it's probably the same with any place in life, when you're caught up in the midst of it you just can't see any other portion of the big picture.
At the same time that I was quite literally cringing at some of the stuff I said, very occasionally I dropped some things that resonate so well with who I am now that I had to smile at my brief glimpses of intelligence.
Thanks to everyone who tried to pour some think juice into my head even if I was too proud to get it. I'm still too arrogant to take anybody's advice but my own. At least my advice is getting better.
So here is a little shout out to all the people I was pissed off at for whatever crazy reason, all the friends who I cared about so much but have drifted so far from that I couldn't even remember how close we were until I read it, and to dick suck and her faggot crew, the only girl that was "so hott she could kill a man," before later wisdom proved that, in fact, no bitch could kill a man.
Kevin Trent, Eric Englehard, Lindsey Reese, Nicole Kelley, J Feustel, Paul Kuhlmann, Erick Vretenar, Abby Wicks, Stephanie Tell, John Trent, Brady Flynn, Corinne Letourneau, Kelsey Campbell, Erika Shattuck, Elaina Bolinger, Sam Buskirk, Gwen Schultz, Wes Helander, Phillip Denman, Andrew Owen, Derek Muller, that christian guy named Patrick, the person who I insisted was my brother but who remained anonymous in commenting on my religion post, Arman Birang who survived meningitis, Courtney Griffo, Courtney Moloney, Sabrina Macduff, Lisa Cox, Ellen Boyd, Kate Boyd, Wayne Gerard and anybody else who deserves to be on the list but somehow got misplaced, or who operated in the shadows of my subconscious and was thus never named in this journal.
I'm sure you're all doing awesome.
Hit me up on facebook
Wow. I clicked into my journal by mistake (it's still in my favorites, right by facebook, but I never look at it) and decided to go back to the beginning and read some entries from my angsty high school days.
I know I was an angry kid in high school, but I forgot just how fucking FURIOUS I was at the world for being what it is. And for the first time in five years, I'm going to admit something that at the time I would rather have died than to say. I was wrong about shit. A LOT of shit. Man, if I could go back in time and visit the younger version of myself I'd drop a little of the wisdom I've collected in the five years since the fanaticism of my religious post, or the hate and fear fueled "take this to heart" post, words would probably fail me though. I'd probably just slap myself. And I think my younger self would understand, fully.
It's fascinating to look at this thing from the position I'm in today, as a future high school teacher. All of my social conditioning, all of the fear, the anger, the anxiety and needy awkwardness of my tenth to twelfth grade years is captured here, a crystallized vision of what it's like to be in high school. I suppose it's probably the same with any place in life, when you're caught up in the midst of it you just can't see any other portion of the big picture.
At the same time that I was quite literally cringing at some of the stuff I said, very occasionally I dropped some things that resonate so well with who I am now that I had to smile at my brief glimpses of intelligence.
Thanks to everyone who tried to pour some think juice into my head even if I was too proud to get it. I'm still too arrogant to take anybody's advice but my own. At least my advice is getting better.
So here is a little shout out to all the people I was pissed off at for whatever crazy reason, all the friends who I cared about so much but have drifted so far from that I couldn't even remember how close we were until I read it, and to dick suck and her faggot crew, the only girl that was "so hott she could kill a man," before later wisdom proved that, in fact, no bitch could kill a man.
Kevin Trent, Eric Englehard, Lindsey Reese, Nicole Kelley, J Feustel, Paul Kuhlmann, Erick Vretenar, Abby Wicks, Stephanie Tell, John Trent, Brady Flynn, Corinne Letourneau, Kelsey Campbell, Erika Shattuck, Elaina Bolinger, Sam Buskirk, Gwen Schultz, Wes Helander, Phillip Denman, Andrew Owen, Derek Muller, that christian guy named Patrick, the person who I insisted was my brother but who remained anonymous in commenting on my religion post, Arman Birang who survived meningitis, Courtney Griffo, Courtney Moloney, Sabrina Macduff, Lisa Cox, Ellen Boyd, Kate Boyd, Wayne Gerard and anybody else who deserves to be on the list but somehow got misplaced, or who operated in the shadows of my subconscious and was thus never named in this journal.
I'm sure you're all doing awesome.
Hit me up on facebook