(no subject)
my life this past month (almost) has been focused around this darn DRP which ends on friday. once it ends the program is over, i leave 7 days after. i will be in the air, headed back to the US of A in 10 days. i am really excited to be going home but at the same time, this has been my home. i love it here. i love my room. i love the people. i love the feeling i have walking around alone (oh yeah safety). i love the smell of the ocean and the sound it makes when the tide is coming in. i love the small ways people show affection to each other. i love walking along the sea and passing cows to get anywhere here, i love the crazy sounding Tui's singing in the morning, i love going on adventures. i love having late night dance parties. but mostly i love who i am here, and i'm afraid i cant be that at home. home is not the place for adventure. thinking about going back leaves my soul aching, its stifled and filled with worrying about everyone there and what they need and want of me. here i can do and believe in myself without the over arching feeling of disappointment. everything is old and familiar. i miss my friends i do, and i love my house and my family, i love wisconsin and Minnesota but not in the way i love Kaiaua. here i am part of Tikapamoana, whakatiwai and the mountains (cant remember how to spell them). i have created a Whanua here that cannot be created anywhere else.