(no subject)
So I wanted to finish my grieving/cleansing/get the fuck over it process by writing a list of things I would miss and things I would not miss about Lindsay
Miss- Having someone to talk to all the time about everything and anything
Miss- Someone to go out to eat with a good restaurants
Miss- Having someone to do fun activities with
Won't Miss- Her underwear (no thongs. ever! what?!)
Won't Miss- Her telling me every guy she thought was hot on TV/Movie/Musican/Friend/Random Guys walking down the street
Miss- Her cooking
Won't Miss- Laying in bed not being touched (whatsoever) by the person who "loves" you
Miss- The sex. Having Sex almost whenever the mood struck
Won't Miss- The constant struggle to get her in the mood. And to keep the sex from being just all around awkward.
Won't Miss- The bad kissing. I'm not saying she was bad, but together we were horrible
Won't Miss- The lack of PDA
Miss- Trivia night
Miss- THE BEACH HOUSE!!!!
Miss- Going on road trips. In praticular St.Augistine. I need to get some more hot sauce
Miss- Watching Jeporady
Won't Miss- Non-scary movie watching
Won't Miss- Her obsession with her dog (you should love your pets but marriage is between a person and a person not woman and dog)
Won't Miss- "How scene kids are soo cool"
Miss- Going to publix cooking classes
Miss- Being cared about (and sometimes loved, but more often than not just cared for)
Won't Miss- A girl puking for the entire beuatiful saturday because someone refuses to eat before they drink
Won't Miss- The bathroom (you know what I mean)
Miss- The oral. Damn the oral....
Won't Miss- The cunt landlord
Miss- Beach bars and not drinking and driving home from them
Won't Miss- Our phone conversations. They were terribly awkward for some reason
Won't Miss- her not thinking about me
Won't Miss- Making statements such as "if you didn't have a beard we'd break up"
Won't Miss- Some of her clothes (so were pretty terrible)
Miss- Some of her clothes (some were badass and hot)
Miss- EYESHADOW/MASCARA
Won't Miss- LIPSTICK!!! Who where's lipstick?!?!
Miss- Holding her hand
Miss- Running my fingers through her hair
Miss- Having a place to get away
Miss- her not using pet names(for some reason that bothered me)
Won't Miss- Her calling me David
Won't Miss- Doing laundry
Won't Miss- Her not being honest about how she feels
Miss- hearing her say "I love you" even if it wasn't true
Miss- Derek's crazy stories and porn recommendations
Miss- Her having her stuff at my house
Miss- Me having my stuff at her house
Won't Miss- Her shower
Won't Miss- Her stubby toes
Won't Miss- Always wearing dark nail polish
Miss- Having someone to get pedis with
Miss- See her asleep (not that I stared at her creepily)
Miss- her dancing
Miss- her being drunk
Miss- Drinking wine
Miss- her snort
Miss- her eyes
Miss- patch of removen mole skin on her left breast
And most of all I'll miss her. I wanted things to work out. I had a idea of her in my head. Of course it wasn't what she really was. She wasn't perfect at all. I willed her to be perfect in my mind. I was going to be content with being with her for the rest of my life. She didn't love me. I don't think she really even cared about me. Towards the end it just seemed she was annoyed and just putting up with me. And also use me for my love, attention, and money. I don't blame her. I would've used her for sex and a beach house, but I wasn't getting much sex. hahaha. Of course I'm a little annoyed and frustrated with her. However I do not hate her. I will not text her mean messages. I've had that happen to me before. It just hurts and really isn't fair. I hope she will find happiness. And I think that I will be able to find someone who will think about me during the day. Who will bring me back a new hot sauce from the store because it reminded her of me. Or a new gator thing because she knows that I like the gators. You don't have to be obsessive but it helps to care. I don't need someone who doesn't text me at all when I'm out of town. And waits untill I've sent her two or three messages (space out by many hours). There were so many things I over looked just because I wanted to make this work
Well I don't want this to end on a bad note. I really don't. Like I said before I don't hate Lindsay. Basically I want to say I enjoyed the time we shared. Even in retrospect I wouldn't change a thing. You will always have a piece of my heart. I will always care about you. Even though you will never read this I want you to know that you are awesom and beautiful and you'll find someone you click with. I hope they make you happy and you live a long life togehter. Goodbye.
Miss- Having someone to talk to all the time about everything and anything
Miss- Someone to go out to eat with a good restaurants
Miss- Having someone to do fun activities with
Won't Miss- Her underwear (no thongs. ever! what?!)
Won't Miss- Her telling me every guy she thought was hot on TV/Movie/Musican/Friend/Random Guys walking down the street
Miss- Her cooking
Won't Miss- Laying in bed not being touched (whatsoever) by the person who "loves" you
Miss- The sex. Having Sex almost whenever the mood struck
Won't Miss- The constant struggle to get her in the mood. And to keep the sex from being just all around awkward.
Won't Miss- The bad kissing. I'm not saying she was bad, but together we were horrible
Won't Miss- The lack of PDA
Miss- Trivia night
Miss- THE BEACH HOUSE!!!!
Miss- Going on road trips. In praticular St.Augistine. I need to get some more hot sauce
Miss- Watching Jeporady
Won't Miss- Non-scary movie watching
Won't Miss- Her obsession with her dog (you should love your pets but marriage is between a person and a person not woman and dog)
Won't Miss- "How scene kids are soo cool"
Miss- Going to publix cooking classes
Miss- Being cared about (and sometimes loved, but more often than not just cared for)
Won't Miss- A girl puking for the entire beuatiful saturday because someone refuses to eat before they drink
Won't Miss- The bathroom (you know what I mean)
Miss- The oral. Damn the oral....
Won't Miss- The cunt landlord
Miss- Beach bars and not drinking and driving home from them
Won't Miss- Our phone conversations. They were terribly awkward for some reason
Won't Miss- her not thinking about me
Won't Miss- Making statements such as "if you didn't have a beard we'd break up"
Won't Miss- Some of her clothes (so were pretty terrible)
Miss- Some of her clothes (some were badass and hot)
Miss- EYESHADOW/MASCARA
Won't Miss- LIPSTICK!!! Who where's lipstick?!?!
Miss- Holding her hand
Miss- Running my fingers through her hair
Miss- Having a place to get away
Miss- her not using pet names(for some reason that bothered me)
Won't Miss- Her calling me David
Won't Miss- Doing laundry
Won't Miss- Her not being honest about how she feels
Miss- hearing her say "I love you" even if it wasn't true
Miss- Derek's crazy stories and porn recommendations
Miss- Her having her stuff at my house
Miss- Me having my stuff at her house
Won't Miss- Her shower
Won't Miss- Her stubby toes
Won't Miss- Always wearing dark nail polish
Miss- Having someone to get pedis with
Miss- See her asleep (not that I stared at her creepily)
Miss- her dancing
Miss- her being drunk
Miss- Drinking wine
Miss- her snort
Miss- her eyes
Miss- patch of removen mole skin on her left breast
And most of all I'll miss her. I wanted things to work out. I had a idea of her in my head. Of course it wasn't what she really was. She wasn't perfect at all. I willed her to be perfect in my mind. I was going to be content with being with her for the rest of my life. She didn't love me. I don't think she really even cared about me. Towards the end it just seemed she was annoyed and just putting up with me. And also use me for my love, attention, and money. I don't blame her. I would've used her for sex and a beach house, but I wasn't getting much sex. hahaha. Of course I'm a little annoyed and frustrated with her. However I do not hate her. I will not text her mean messages. I've had that happen to me before. It just hurts and really isn't fair. I hope she will find happiness. And I think that I will be able to find someone who will think about me during the day. Who will bring me back a new hot sauce from the store because it reminded her of me. Or a new gator thing because she knows that I like the gators. You don't have to be obsessive but it helps to care. I don't need someone who doesn't text me at all when I'm out of town. And waits untill I've sent her two or three messages (space out by many hours). There were so many things I over looked just because I wanted to make this work
Well I don't want this to end on a bad note. I really don't. Like I said before I don't hate Lindsay. Basically I want to say I enjoyed the time we shared. Even in retrospect I wouldn't change a thing. You will always have a piece of my heart. I will always care about you. Even though you will never read this I want you to know that you are awesom and beautiful and you'll find someone you click with. I hope they make you happy and you live a long life togehter. Goodbye.