Work update
A friend asked me today how work was going. I realized I rarely, rarely talk about work. So, no reason why a bit of email correspondence can't do double duty as a journal entry.
How is work going?
Welllll... I'm still really struggling. I mean REALLY struggling. My brain is bruised from all the pulling and twisting. 'Object-oriented software design' is very high-order abstract thinking.
But though it might take me, like, four hours to get one thing working right, I'm getting it. And every time I do, I realize that I *can*. Mostly, I get it about halfway through writing a desparate, whining email to my mentor.
You know, there's really nothing like composing a well-formed question for coming up with a solution. Almost every time it is in the explicit and succinct formation of the email that I will start finding the solution. 80% of my technical emails I don't end up sending, despite starting off with every intention of doing so (this includes posts to technical fora). For the ones I do send to my mentor - while I bitch about it to myself - it is probably a very clever thing that he is doing by delaying his responses to me by many hours, if not days. Forces me to not use him as a crutch - which I would otherwise unashamedly do.
The other thing that's great for problem-solving is daydreaming outside of work. Bedtime and shower are still excellent places to think clearly. Something about the code sitting right in front of me that intimidates my brain into putting my fingers in gear without bothering to engage my brain properly. When I'm away from the code, I am forced to think conceptually (right-brained), rather than line-by-line (left-brained). It is astonishing how insistent my left-brain is at leaping before looking. (It is also astonishing the timely correlation between coming up against the really hard problem, and the occurrence of a full bladder, thirsty mouth, hungry belly, crampy leg, dust mote on the floor, etc.)
Is work fun? In a hair-pulling, chin-squeezing, bitching-and-moaning kind of way, yes. Basically, I am learning. Learning stuff that's really hard. My brain has been really out of shape, but it sure feels good (read: ouchy) getting the exercise. Yes, it's fun. Busy is good. Learning, growing, stretching is good. Even when it gives you brainial cramps.
And the worst day here is still better than the best day working where I've been the previous two (or four?) years.
How is work going?
Welllll... I'm still really struggling. I mean REALLY struggling. My brain is bruised from all the pulling and twisting. 'Object-oriented software design' is very high-order abstract thinking.
But though it might take me, like, four hours to get one thing working right, I'm getting it. And every time I do, I realize that I *can*. Mostly, I get it about halfway through writing a desparate, whining email to my mentor.
You know, there's really nothing like composing a well-formed question for coming up with a solution. Almost every time it is in the explicit and succinct formation of the email that I will start finding the solution. 80% of my technical emails I don't end up sending, despite starting off with every intention of doing so (this includes posts to technical fora). For the ones I do send to my mentor - while I bitch about it to myself - it is probably a very clever thing that he is doing by delaying his responses to me by many hours, if not days. Forces me to not use him as a crutch - which I would otherwise unashamedly do.
The other thing that's great for problem-solving is daydreaming outside of work. Bedtime and shower are still excellent places to think clearly. Something about the code sitting right in front of me that intimidates my brain into putting my fingers in gear without bothering to engage my brain properly. When I'm away from the code, I am forced to think conceptually (right-brained), rather than line-by-line (left-brained). It is astonishing how insistent my left-brain is at leaping before looking. (It is also astonishing the timely correlation between coming up against the really hard problem, and the occurrence of a full bladder, thirsty mouth, hungry belly, crampy leg, dust mote on the floor, etc.)
Is work fun? In a hair-pulling, chin-squeezing, bitching-and-moaning kind of way, yes. Basically, I am learning. Learning stuff that's really hard. My brain has been really out of shape, but it sure feels good (read: ouchy) getting the exercise. Yes, it's fun. Busy is good. Learning, growing, stretching is good. Even when it gives you brainial cramps.
And the worst day here is still better than the best day working where I've been the previous two (or four?) years.