(no subject)
So, fun day: was robbed at gun point this morning downtown, had several hundred dollars taken, and had to walk over an hour to get to work, thus arriving late and sweaty and ornery. Received some help with bus fare from a coworker and two customers, for which I'm thankful; have to conduct "damage control" with rent and my P.O. box renewal. Unfortunately, ALL the money that I had to my name was on me and therefore taken. I'm broke beyond any experience I've had regarding being broke.
Not sure what relation this "event" has to the larger narrative of my life. Walking to work, I felt everything spiraling out of control, that my life had somehow "collapsed" because I no longer had money available to do whatever I wanted to do: drink coffee, buy potatoes and garlic for dinner, sit in a bar and socialize, ride the bus, buy a book . . . How silly of me, to think I had somehow escaped the addiction to money and finance because I had read so-and-so and adopted such-and-such ideas about "breaking free from the stranglehold of capital." Bullshit, I'm as addicted to making money and having money as anyone else, it fuels my life and my habits, I'd be a fool to think/believe/act otherwise.
Maybe this is a bizarre, karmic wake-up call. Maybe it's just a random situation. Maybe it's a deeper sign for me to decipher.