Holy Mackerel Andy...a post
Not any particular reason why I am writing in here. Maybe because it is a ghost town of attention and it is truly a personal journal.
So what is going on? Well, mostly it is me caught up in a personal world of confusion on where to go with things. I watched a show tonight (because I felt compelled since it is Memorial Day) about Congressional Medal of Honor winners. It highlighted half a dozen people who won the medal and what they went through. It included soldiers from WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and Somalia. The show and the comments were extremely moving...and I am not ashamed to say that I shed a few tears here and there. One of the guys, when asked what knowledge they wanted to impart to the young people of today said, "Make sure you have life goals". And I took that advice to heart tonight. Because although I have done fine with the things that I have attempted, they haven't been wrapped around a true GOAL. So that is what I am going to try and put my mind to. What is it that I really want to accomplish? Not just the results of the action, like making money or gaining success, but the true, proper, and wanted means by which that happens.
So I am in a situation where I am having a modicum of success playing poker. But I know that be a consistent thing is unlikely, and totally without security. On the other hand the photography business is something I know how to do, but doesn't bring me a lot of day to day joy. I am not passionate about it like I probably should be. The new thing that has entered into the picture is interacting in the poker world in a way other than playing. I made some amazing connections when I was in Vegas. Not just because they were good for a future of doing some business, but also because I really liked the people and respected their time and attention. And they seemed to really like me as well.
So I have to decide where to dedicate my energy and effort. I seem to have so many ideas and then the next day or the next week, the motivation wanes to follow any particular thing. So that just makes me think that I haven't had the right idea yet. I have had people lately telling me that I should write a book, or push hard to become a poker journalist, or go to work for a poker website in their marketing department or working in public relations. It's all kind of hazy and unclear right now for me.
So this entry is a mark of my realization of a fork in the road. I can't continue to throw my hopes into something that isn't a true focus. It's frustrating to have so much going on in my head without giving anything the chance to succeed. I need to gain that personal insight. That's my challenge to myself for now.
So what is going on? Well, mostly it is me caught up in a personal world of confusion on where to go with things. I watched a show tonight (because I felt compelled since it is Memorial Day) about Congressional Medal of Honor winners. It highlighted half a dozen people who won the medal and what they went through. It included soldiers from WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and Somalia. The show and the comments were extremely moving...and I am not ashamed to say that I shed a few tears here and there. One of the guys, when asked what knowledge they wanted to impart to the young people of today said, "Make sure you have life goals". And I took that advice to heart tonight. Because although I have done fine with the things that I have attempted, they haven't been wrapped around a true GOAL. So that is what I am going to try and put my mind to. What is it that I really want to accomplish? Not just the results of the action, like making money or gaining success, but the true, proper, and wanted means by which that happens.
So I am in a situation where I am having a modicum of success playing poker. But I know that be a consistent thing is unlikely, and totally without security. On the other hand the photography business is something I know how to do, but doesn't bring me a lot of day to day joy. I am not passionate about it like I probably should be. The new thing that has entered into the picture is interacting in the poker world in a way other than playing. I made some amazing connections when I was in Vegas. Not just because they were good for a future of doing some business, but also because I really liked the people and respected their time and attention. And they seemed to really like me as well.
So I have to decide where to dedicate my energy and effort. I seem to have so many ideas and then the next day or the next week, the motivation wanes to follow any particular thing. So that just makes me think that I haven't had the right idea yet. I have had people lately telling me that I should write a book, or push hard to become a poker journalist, or go to work for a poker website in their marketing department or working in public relations. It's all kind of hazy and unclear right now for me.
So this entry is a mark of my realization of a fork in the road. I can't continue to throw my hopes into something that isn't a true focus. It's frustrating to have so much going on in my head without giving anything the chance to succeed. I need to gain that personal insight. That's my challenge to myself for now.