THE FUCK UP!!!!
i like making to do lists that never get done.
1) study for biolab practical and midterm for lecture.
1 and 1/2) i forgot about that paper i have to write. shit.
2) do dishes.
3) get a job so i can get money for the casino.
4) do my taxes.
5) get my pants tailored.
6) stop being lame.
oh and this is hilarious.
haha, fuck yeah, this rules.
how to win over a girl:
1. Never reveal that you have a genuine interest in anything she ever does or says.
2. Remember that your favorite article of clothing is more important than the girl you occasionally have sex with. First comes your coat, then your coat rack.
3. Play the "lost puppy dog in need of a new home" card as often as possible.
4. Tune her out if she talks for more than 2 minutes at a time.
5. Never tell any of your friends about the girl you occasionally have sex with. If they call you on it, reply with a comment so degrading, it could only fly in a double-kegger frat house rape den.
6. Don't call for weeks at a time and then call 10 times in one day.
7. Compliment her Honestly. With words like "I should go home now" and "I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship right now (but I will continue to fuck you, of course)"
8. never make her feel as if she's important or appreciated. just make her feel that if she tried really, really hard you would finally come around and tell her she's important and appreciated.
9. Make sure to unexpectedly show up when she's drinking and to unexpectedly sneak away when she's sober.
10. Talk about how under rated Clap your hands say yeah! are.
11. Make sure to show moderate interest in as many girls as possible. Only focus on a girl if she's being the squeaky wheel who needs the grease.
12. Be the first douchebag on your block to grow a novelty 70's beard or fashion mullet.
13. Think "six million dollar man". Think of the massive expenditures of technology it will take to rebuild you.
14. Remember that there are a million truly amazing girls out there who are easily seduced by the allure of the latent potential contained within each wild animal.
15. Never get close enough to a girl to realize that all of the secret quirks and highly-guarded complexities and gorgeous blemishes are really what make any relationship worth while. That shit's for dick-in-a-jar platonic friends who have nothing to do but point out the glaring inconsistencies between what every girl says she wants and what she actually goes for.
Guys - repost this if you think this is how shit actually works.
Girls - don't repost this if unbeknownst to you, you have a devoted legion of "nice, sweet guys that you only think of like a brother and would make a perfect match for a vaguely defined friend of yours" living in quiet desperation.
1) study for biolab practical and midterm for lecture.
1 and 1/2) i forgot about that paper i have to write. shit.
2) do dishes.
3) get a job so i can get money for the casino.
4) do my taxes.
5) get my pants tailored.
6) stop being lame.
oh and this is hilarious.
haha, fuck yeah, this rules.
how to win over a girl:
1. Never reveal that you have a genuine interest in anything she ever does or says.
2. Remember that your favorite article of clothing is more important than the girl you occasionally have sex with. First comes your coat, then your coat rack.
3. Play the "lost puppy dog in need of a new home" card as often as possible.
4. Tune her out if she talks for more than 2 minutes at a time.
5. Never tell any of your friends about the girl you occasionally have sex with. If they call you on it, reply with a comment so degrading, it could only fly in a double-kegger frat house rape den.
6. Don't call for weeks at a time and then call 10 times in one day.
7. Compliment her Honestly. With words like "I should go home now" and "I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship right now (but I will continue to fuck you, of course)"
8. never make her feel as if she's important or appreciated. just make her feel that if she tried really, really hard you would finally come around and tell her she's important and appreciated.
9. Make sure to unexpectedly show up when she's drinking and to unexpectedly sneak away when she's sober.
10. Talk about how under rated Clap your hands say yeah! are.
11. Make sure to show moderate interest in as many girls as possible. Only focus on a girl if she's being the squeaky wheel who needs the grease.
12. Be the first douchebag on your block to grow a novelty 70's beard or fashion mullet.
13. Think "six million dollar man". Think of the massive expenditures of technology it will take to rebuild you.
14. Remember that there are a million truly amazing girls out there who are easily seduced by the allure of the latent potential contained within each wild animal.
15. Never get close enough to a girl to realize that all of the secret quirks and highly-guarded complexities and gorgeous blemishes are really what make any relationship worth while. That shit's for dick-in-a-jar platonic friends who have nothing to do but point out the glaring inconsistencies between what every girl says she wants and what she actually goes for.
Guys - repost this if you think this is how shit actually works.
Girls - don't repost this if unbeknownst to you, you have a devoted legion of "nice, sweet guys that you only think of like a brother and would make a perfect match for a vaguely defined friend of yours" living in quiet desperation.