What now?
So...Mary is back from London, and I'm not done with finals...hell I have done little in terms of progress (well okay I almost finished my politics one, but whatever).
I'm sitting here staring at my countdown timer wondering...what happened?
Mary's plane left just short of 107 days ago and she's back now. A year is 365 days...that's a huge chunk of a year, granted it was a good thing I went and saw her...because my "I miss Mary" threshold passed about two weeks ago when I think I just started to lose it in general.
As far as I'm concerned, the thing that defined this semester has come to a conclusion, so everything from now to...forever is just the epilogue I guess. It doesn't feel like Spring 08 with Mary in the same time zone as me. There's just something wrong with it. I honestly don't even know what to expect when she comes here...to Fairfield...to where as I like to think....is her home.
That also means a lot of closure to a lot of things. I believed the relationship would make it, but of course we always had our worries. Now, the other thing that worried me was my relationship with the group. I was afraid that it would be strained since they were all in the townhouses, and I wouldn't see them. I also was afraid I'd be in this little bubble that is my room because of no one to talk to.
My friends on this campus really helped me out even though I do want to say I did a lot better then I expected to - yes I had some "I miss Mary" freakout-nights, but in general I held it together. Does it sound like I'm celebrating myself? Yes, and it better because this was no light matter for me. I've never really dealt with being alone during college. Although Kyle was a great friend, it obviously isn't the same. I guess I also owe Kerri a big thanks for picking up a lot of slack.
What it all comes down to is me sitting here listening to "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox Twenty on repeat. The world is different today than it was four hours ago.
I dare you to challenge me on that. Because if you know me at all, Mary is the world to me.
I don't care if anyone thinks my self-celebration is conceited, self-centered, or just plain selfish...I really don't care, because this was the biggest emotional challenge I've faced in a very long time. I fucking did it.
Now...to Mary:
Let's See How Far We've Come
I'm sitting here staring at my countdown timer wondering...what happened?
Mary's plane left just short of 107 days ago and she's back now. A year is 365 days...that's a huge chunk of a year, granted it was a good thing I went and saw her...because my "I miss Mary" threshold passed about two weeks ago when I think I just started to lose it in general.
As far as I'm concerned, the thing that defined this semester has come to a conclusion, so everything from now to...forever is just the epilogue I guess. It doesn't feel like Spring 08 with Mary in the same time zone as me. There's just something wrong with it. I honestly don't even know what to expect when she comes here...to Fairfield...to where as I like to think....is her home.
That also means a lot of closure to a lot of things. I believed the relationship would make it, but of course we always had our worries. Now, the other thing that worried me was my relationship with the group. I was afraid that it would be strained since they were all in the townhouses, and I wouldn't see them. I also was afraid I'd be in this little bubble that is my room because of no one to talk to.
My friends on this campus really helped me out even though I do want to say I did a lot better then I expected to - yes I had some "I miss Mary" freakout-nights, but in general I held it together. Does it sound like I'm celebrating myself? Yes, and it better because this was no light matter for me. I've never really dealt with being alone during college. Although Kyle was a great friend, it obviously isn't the same. I guess I also owe Kerri a big thanks for picking up a lot of slack.
What it all comes down to is me sitting here listening to "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox Twenty on repeat. The world is different today than it was four hours ago.
I dare you to challenge me on that. Because if you know me at all, Mary is the world to me.
I don't care if anyone thinks my self-celebration is conceited, self-centered, or just plain selfish...I really don't care, because this was the biggest emotional challenge I've faced in a very long time. I fucking did it.
Now...to Mary:
Let's See How Far We've Come