why hebrew school is awesome....
RABBI BRONSTEIN:...because JE-sus wants you to send me FIFTY-NINE NINETY-NINE so he can SAVE your SOULS!
EMMA: Michael [our Hebrew teacher]! Michael! Michael! If I wanted to say 'I love you forever and ever and marry me so we can create a race of little Jews together'...how would I say that?
MICHAEL (explaining a game): So if you get out, you're imashcha --
BECCA: What's imashcha?
MICHAEL: Yo mama.
ME (upon Mom's arrival 15 minutes late for the umpteenth time this year): Allow me to explain the Theory of Relativity. If you get into the car at 8:10 you are NOT GOING TO ARRIVE AT 8:00!!!!!
EMMA: Michael [our Hebrew teacher]! Michael! Michael! If I wanted to say 'I love you forever and ever and marry me so we can create a race of little Jews together'...how would I say that?
MICHAEL (explaining a game): So if you get out, you're imashcha --
BECCA: What's imashcha?
MICHAEL: Yo mama.
ME (upon Mom's arrival 15 minutes late for the umpteenth time this year): Allow me to explain the Theory of Relativity. If you get into the car at 8:10 you are NOT GOING TO ARRIVE AT 8:00!!!!!