Moms
I found out last night on the phone conversation with my mother that she had cancer removed from her face. Days in the sun caused cancer some 50 years later. Never mind the "wow" factor of long term cel damage eventually mutating into a malignant growth which can kill you... it *my mom*!
We may not have always had the best relationship, in fact there were years that I was not even in contact with her for her birthday or Mothers Day, times when we have been so at odds with one another that any conversation was an excercise in patience just to get beyond "hello", and times when I have wondered what it would be like to not have been adopted (ok, so that was when I was, like, 6).
But for every time there were those feelings I should just walk away from my family, I never fully could. Eventually, I forgave her, then I forgave myself. Now? Well, we still don't always agree, but that's OK. I know she cares, and she knows I care. We love each other for who we are, and accept each others' faults and strengths. After all, that's family. She's my mom. I will always respect and love her, and to think of her mortality being forced into my conciusness by something as serious as squamous cell carcinoma? Oy.
Then there was Korray. She was having a pretty rough day, it was clear. Turns out she misses her mom, but wants her mom from 5 years ago, not her mom from today. I sincerely hope that, someday, she will be able to get to the point I am at, and not allow her bitterness at past mistakes cloud her interactions with everyone else.
We may not have always had the best relationship, in fact there were years that I was not even in contact with her for her birthday or Mothers Day, times when we have been so at odds with one another that any conversation was an excercise in patience just to get beyond "hello", and times when I have wondered what it would be like to not have been adopted (ok, so that was when I was, like, 6).
But for every time there were those feelings I should just walk away from my family, I never fully could. Eventually, I forgave her, then I forgave myself. Now? Well, we still don't always agree, but that's OK. I know she cares, and she knows I care. We love each other for who we are, and accept each others' faults and strengths. After all, that's family. She's my mom. I will always respect and love her, and to think of her mortality being forced into my conciusness by something as serious as squamous cell carcinoma? Oy.
Then there was Korray. She was having a pretty rough day, it was clear. Turns out she misses her mom, but wants her mom from 5 years ago, not her mom from today. I sincerely hope that, someday, she will be able to get to the point I am at, and not allow her bitterness at past mistakes cloud her interactions with everyone else.