(no subject)
I'm quite drunk, but I wish to give the account while venom is still raging through my blood. The evening was a total success - the dinner was good, the dancing was fun, we all got into the club, etc.
Then, however, along came Jo. Now, Jo, as we all know (btw I know you’ll read this), has a tendency to drink a tad too much. Well this time she went to extremes. She got thrown out, and lost her phone. I happened upon her while getting Vari out safely, only to discover her arguing with the bouncers to be let back in to search for her phone. “No,” they said - flat out refused. So I went to look. No luck.
I returned to tell her this, and her friends could not get her to leave (one was driving home). I (stupidly, apparently) walked through the door to coax her into her friends car. Upon realizing that there was someone stupid enough to look after her, her friends quickly drove off (leaving her to my care). I repeatedly told her that if she did not go with her friends promptly, I would not be allowed back in. She refused.
I bundled her in a taxi (which she plainly told me she could pay for), which she promptly got out of. I returned her to her taxi, which she told me she could not pay for. I gave her the money to get the taxi home.
I went to the door of the Shack, only to be told it had past curfew (2 o’clock) and could not be allowed back in. I asked if I could give them my cloakroom ticket, and they disappeared to get it. It returned, post haste, and I collected my bag.
The bouncer then said “oh that’s your friend out of her taxi again.” I turn around, to see her bounding down the street. I ask the bouncer if they will watch my bag for me. “No,” they replied plainly (and then had a good giggle at my expense). I grab my bag and run down the street looking for her.
Finally, I compel her into a taxi (along with myself) at which time she protests she wishes to go to Jamie’s (I assume she thought there would be a party there?). I tell her no one is going to Jamie’s, so she tells the driver her address and off we go.
However, I had not anticipated that she would lie to the driver about her address, and thus take us to a street near Jamie’s house. Out she got, and a terror of a time I had getting her back in. Finally I ascertain her real address and off we go again.
However (yes, there is more), she didn’t have her keys, and her mother wouldn’t let her in. The taxi driver also refused to wait any longer, and insisted I pay him and drove off.
She did however wake up all her neighbors with her incessant buzzing. They open their windows (even those on the top floor flat) to yell abuse at us. A kindly neighbor on the bottom floor opens her window and says, “oh Johanna, shall I let you in?” and thus we gained access to the stairs. However, not having her house keys she could not get any further.
Thus we had to get another taxi to take us to her aunt's house. Her keys work this time, and up we go. I get her into bed, and (hopefully) there she shall remain.
All this time she is yelling abuse at me, telling me it’s all my fault and I should have just left her on the stairs of the Shack. I’m sure I need not point out my irritation at being forced to leave what was clearly an enormously fun night, however I shall point out that if ever I am forced to do this for Jo again you will find her face down in a ditch somewhere and it wont have been a rapist’s handiwork.
Then, however, along came Jo. Now, Jo, as we all know (btw I know you’ll read this), has a tendency to drink a tad too much. Well this time she went to extremes. She got thrown out, and lost her phone. I happened upon her while getting Vari out safely, only to discover her arguing with the bouncers to be let back in to search for her phone. “No,” they said - flat out refused. So I went to look. No luck.
I returned to tell her this, and her friends could not get her to leave (one was driving home). I (stupidly, apparently) walked through the door to coax her into her friends car. Upon realizing that there was someone stupid enough to look after her, her friends quickly drove off (leaving her to my care). I repeatedly told her that if she did not go with her friends promptly, I would not be allowed back in. She refused.
I bundled her in a taxi (which she plainly told me she could pay for), which she promptly got out of. I returned her to her taxi, which she told me she could not pay for. I gave her the money to get the taxi home.
I went to the door of the Shack, only to be told it had past curfew (2 o’clock) and could not be allowed back in. I asked if I could give them my cloakroom ticket, and they disappeared to get it. It returned, post haste, and I collected my bag.
The bouncer then said “oh that’s your friend out of her taxi again.” I turn around, to see her bounding down the street. I ask the bouncer if they will watch my bag for me. “No,” they replied plainly (and then had a good giggle at my expense). I grab my bag and run down the street looking for her.
Finally, I compel her into a taxi (along with myself) at which time she protests she wishes to go to Jamie’s (I assume she thought there would be a party there?). I tell her no one is going to Jamie’s, so she tells the driver her address and off we go.
However, I had not anticipated that she would lie to the driver about her address, and thus take us to a street near Jamie’s house. Out she got, and a terror of a time I had getting her back in. Finally I ascertain her real address and off we go again.
However (yes, there is more), she didn’t have her keys, and her mother wouldn’t let her in. The taxi driver also refused to wait any longer, and insisted I pay him and drove off.
She did however wake up all her neighbors with her incessant buzzing. They open their windows (even those on the top floor flat) to yell abuse at us. A kindly neighbor on the bottom floor opens her window and says, “oh Johanna, shall I let you in?” and thus we gained access to the stairs. However, not having her house keys she could not get any further.
Thus we had to get another taxi to take us to her aunt's house. Her keys work this time, and up we go. I get her into bed, and (hopefully) there she shall remain.
All this time she is yelling abuse at me, telling me it’s all my fault and I should have just left her on the stairs of the Shack. I’m sure I need not point out my irritation at being forced to leave what was clearly an enormously fun night, however I shall point out that if ever I am forced to do this for Jo again you will find her face down in a ditch somewhere and it wont have been a rapist’s handiwork.