Fic: Unraveling (Part 10)
[ Masterlist] [ Part 9]
When Cas saw Dean’s face, he knew that he had heard his conversation with his sister. He took in a deep breath then let it out. He tried to think of the right words to say to start the conversation.
There was so much that he wanted to tell Dean. He figured that he’d start from the beginning.
“I was found by the Ellen and Bobby Singer one night in their junkyard. I was just a baby wrapped in a blanket with two parallel scars running down my back. They told me that from the moment they held me in their arms, I was their child. Blood or no blood. I was theirs.
“My parents knew that something wasn’t normal about me because as a child I never got sick, and every time I got scraped up, the injury would heal right before their eyes. And apparently whenever they were injured, I healed them. They had to use fake medical documents for me to be able to go to school.
“When I was six years old, I fell out of a tree. I hit my head and broke pretty much every bone on the right side of my body. Mom and dad were freaking out. They didn’t know if they could take me to a hospital or not because they weren’t sure if they’d have my blood type and they didn’t want to answer doctor’s questions and all that.
“They decided against it. They put me in bed and fixed me up the best that they could, and waited to see if I would eventually need a hospital. They didn’t sleep for two nights, watching and waiting to see if I’d heal. I woke up on the third day with most of the bones mended, and a headache.
“I was terrified because mom always warned me to never climb the tall trees because they were dangerous. I was scared that she was going to yell at me. But what she did instead scared me more. She just leaned over while she was holding Jo and kissed me on the forehead. She told me to never scare her like that again.
“That day forth, I promised to never worry my mom again. Then when I was eighteen, we were on a family road trip. At least, we were heading back home. It was night and we were pretty much alone on the highway. The truck driver of a semi fell asleep and slammed into us.”
“Cas,” Dean whispered. He found himself tearing up at the stories that Cas was telling him.
Cas heard Dean say his name, but he continued as if he didn’t. He needed to finish the story. “I was the first to regain consciousness. The car had flipped a couple of times and I was thrown from it. I made my way back to it and saw my family still unconscious. It was bad and I knew that if I didn’t get help soon, then they were going to die.
“I felt this itch in my back and then it sounded like a giant bird was behind me. I don’t know why I did it, but I put my hands on the roof of the car and imagined the hospital. The next thing I knew, I was at the emergency area. I don’t remember saying anything, just pointing. Then everything went dark.
“When I woke up, mom was sitting next to me, crying. Then I got it. She was scared that my secret could’ve been discovered. I may have looked human, but I wasn’t. And since I wasn’t, I could’ve been taken away from them. She has this fear of people running tests on me and she’d never see me again. I don’t really know how we got out of that predicament. I don’t know if I did something, or my angelic brothers helped me. But that secret…”
Cas stopped his story there. He didn’t know what else he could have added. He waited for Dean to say something, but he never did. He turned to face Dean. “Can we talk?” he asked, for the first time acknowledging him since they went out onto the porch.
“Sit first. You look like you’re about to pass out.” Dean grabbed Cas’s upper arm and helped him sit down on the bench that was behind them. Dean sat down next to him, putting as much space between them as he could, which wasn’t much considering how small it was.
Then they sat in silence. Neither of them wanted to start the conversation that they both knew they needed, but didn’t want to have.
After a few minutes, Cas spoke up. “Dean,” he whispered.
“I don’t want you to erase my memories,” Dean said quickly before Cas could even suggest it.
“Dean, I…”
“I’m not in danger knowing that you’re Dark Angel. It was just a fluke that those guys used me. Next time, I won’t announce who I am.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Then what is it?”
Cas took in a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly. “It’s a lot to ask you to keep this secret of mine.”
“You didn’t ask.”
Cas looked at Dean. “Which makes it much worse.” When Dean turned to meet his gaze, he looked down at his lap. “Dean, my sister couldn’t even visit me when I was in the hospital. We try to live normal lives-”
Dean reached up and put a hand on Cas’s arm. “But you’re not normal, Cas.” When he realized what he said, he pulled his hand like he had just touched a hot stove. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re an angel.”
“I know you didn’t. But my family is normal, Dean. I know what they have to go through every day when they hear about me on the news. I wouldn’t want that to burden anyone else. I’m terrified of what would happen to them if my secret got out.”
“Cas.”
“I care about you too much to have you carry this.”
“But what if I want to?”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. My family knows how to keep this secret. They’ve kept it for years. It’s important to them.”
“This is important to me too,” Dean said. The guy that he had been working side by side with for more than three years was the same guy who risked his life everyday to protect the planet. It was the same guy he cared about. “I could learn,” he whispered.
“I don’t want you to have to learn, Dean. Keeping secrets, this secret, especially, is hard.”
“Why don’t you want me to know? Why are you so keen on me not knowing this secret?” His throat was tight. Cas rarely argued with him about anything. He thought that he’d earned Cas and Castiel’s trust over the last few weeks. He wanted to know what changed.
“Dean. You just can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because then you’d notice.”
“Notice?” Dean asked.
Cas bit his lip. He didn’t want to tell Dean, knowing that it would add more to Dean’s guilty conscious. “You never noticed when I’d leave the bullpen to go and save someone. When I came back nobody would notice that I was missing. And if they did, it wouldn’t be until much later and they didn’t really care that I was gone for so long. I could be gone for hours and no one would really care.”
“Cas, I…”
Cas reached a hand out and put it on Dean’s shoulder. He regretted telling Dean, but it was needed. Now he needed to stop the guilt. “It’s okay, Dean. The point was that you guys weren’t supposed to notice. But if you-”
“How could I not notice?” he yelled. He jumped up off the bench and put more space between him and Cas. “We’re partners. We’re friends. Aren’t we?”
“Dean.” He could see the anguish in Dean’s eyes. He tried to stand up so that he could explain without having to talk so loudly.
Dean put a hand up to stop Cas from standing, knowing exactly what Cas was trying to do. “No,” he yelled with enough to keep him seated. He wasn’t willing to accept Cas’s comfort. He took a deep breath, knowing that he’d have to calm down or he’d expose Cas’s secret to everyone on the apartment building. “I should have noticed that every time you weren’t in the bullpen, Dark Angel would show up. Three years. Three freaking years. What kind of reporter am I? Why didn’t I put it together?”
“Because I didn’t want you to. Because it worked that way. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, Dean.”
Dean stared at Cas, ready to continue the argument, but he realized that he couldn’t. He knew that he’d only continue yelling at Cas’s direction and that Cas didn’t need that right now. “Right. I guess I’m not putting much faith in you trusting me with this secret right now, am I? All this freaking out.” He plopped back down on the bench.
Cas noticed that there was more space between them than when they first sat down. “It’s understandable. It is a lot of information to take in.”
“Stop,” Dean whispered. “Stop being so nice.”
Cas smiled. “You’re asking the impossible.”
“You are right though, this is a lot of information.”
Cas put his hands on his thighs and rubbed them out of nervousness. “I always imagined that if I ended up telling someone my secret, it would come out gradually. Not in a big outpouring.”
“I don’t think you can avoid all of this coming out at once,” Dean replied.
“I guess not.” Something in Cas knew that it was true. In for a penny.
Dean scooted down the bench and got as close to Cas as he could without touching him. He wanted to grab Cas’s hand, but he felt that it would have been a little inappropriate. He’d have to learn to deal with the feelings he felt for Castiel before he knew that it was Cas. He settled for putting a hand on Cas’s forearm. He felt it was safe enough. “Cas, please don’t erase my memories. I mean, you can do it if you want to, but I don’t want you to.”
Cas stared at the hand on his arm. Time slowed. He needed to think about what to do next. He began weighing the pros and cons of Dean knowing, but he realized that making a list would take too long. All he had to do was look at Dean and see how determined he was to keep the secret. “Okay,” he whispered.
“Okay?” Dean repeated, pulling his hand away when he turned his entire body to face Cas. He hoped he didn’t look too happy.
“I won’t erase your memories. I trust you. And I know you’re responsible. But if you ever feel like it’s too much to keep this secret, tell me and I’ll-”
“You won’t have to. I promise.”
“I know,” Cas said, letting out a long sigh. He groaned when he felt a dull pain in his side. He brought a hand up to cover it.
“Why isn’t your wound healed?” Dean asked, staring down at Cas’s hand.
“There was something about the weapon that stabbed me. Something made just to hurt angels.”
“So you can’t heal it like you healed the bullet wound.”
“My healing abilities have been diminished. I can still feel most of my injuries from the fall.”
“Then why the hell did you come to work?” he said as angrily as he could without yelling at the other man. “You should’ve just stayed home.”
“I thought that Crowley would have fired me from missing so many days. I didn’t realize how long I was unconscious. And I didn’t know it was the first day back to work. I thought that you guys had been working while I was in the hospital. I could only be sick for so many days. And I couldn’t exactly list falling from the sky as an excuse for missing work.”
Dean’s anger disappeared quickly, and smiled. He knew that Cas was too dedicated to the job. He bit his lip and looked at Cas. For the first time, he actually saw the real Cas. Without all the tension walls put up because he had to keep a secret. He looked more at ease. “Hey, Cas,” Dean said softly. Cas looked up and Dean looked at him to meet his gaze. “What do you remember about that day?”
“Not much after catching you after you fell.”
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “I was thrown,” Dean said defensively. Saying that he fell made it seem like it was his fault.
“Yes, you were,” Cas agreed with a smile. “But I remember having to land somewhere safe. An alley? Maybe? Then nothing. After that, I woke up and was in the hospital with your shirt in my hand.”
“So, you don’t remember anything between that?”
“Not really.” Cas shook his head then looked out up to the sky. “Jo filled me in on the explosion and the fall. I’m actually glad I don’t remember that.”
Dean found himself looking at the sky too. “Me too.” He couldn’t even imagine the thoughts that went through Cas’s head as everything happened that day.
“Maybe the memories will eventually come back,” Cas said.
Dean’s eyes widened, then quickly settled. He didn’t want Cas to remember what happened between the two of them in the alley. “You… you think so?” he asked. He looked at Cas, hoping that the angel couldn’t tell how nervous he was.
“I don’t know.” Cas tilted his head and looked into his eyes. “Do you want to fill in the blanks?” Something told him that only Dean would be able to fill certain holes in his memory.
Dean bit his bottom lip. Cas deserved the truth. Hell, he deserved a lot, but Dean wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell him everything that happened in the alley. He’d settle for telling him parts of the story. “You zapped us was an alley, and I had to pull out the-”
“Cas?”
Dean’s shoulders sagged. He was glad for the interruption. He really did not want to tell Cas about what happened between the two of them. “We’re out here,” Dean yelled.
“Where did you go?” Cas asked.
“I-”
“Where is he?” called a voice from just outside the apartment.
Dean looked at Cas whose eyes were so wide they looked like they would fall out of his head. He looked terrified. “Cas?”
Cas turned around stared at the door as another woman entered his apartment. He swallowed hard. “Mother?” he whispered.
“Lucas William Singer. What did I tell you about scaring me like that?”
Cas stared at his mother with wide eyes. It took him a few minutes to realize that his mom was actually standing in front of him and scolding him. Cas immediately felt like he was six years old all over again. “I’m sorry, mom.” He stood up with Dean’s help and walked into the living room.
Ellen lifted up Cas’s jacket and saw the bandages still covering the stab wound. “Joanna Beth, I told you to feed your brother.”
“I tried, mom, but you know how difficult he can be.”
Ellen pulled down the jacket and straightened it. She put her hands on her son’s cheeks and smiled. She looked into her son’s eyes like she was never going to do it again. “I know.” She pulled the taller man down and kissed him on the forehead. “Cas, go lie down. I’ll make you something to eat.”
Cas sighed and rolled his eyes, not enjoying that he was being treated and felt like he was a kid again. “I’ve been lying down all day.”
“I should go,” Dean said, finally speaking up. He felt like he was intruding on a family moment.
Ellen moved her son off to the side to see where the mysterious voice came from. She saw a man about Cas’s age standing in the doorway. “Who are you?” she asked, slipping into mama bear mode. She put herself between the stranger and her son.
“Dean Winchester.”
“The photographer.”
Dean dropped his hand, knowing that he wasn’t going to get a handshake from her. He could hear the venom in her voice. “Yeah.”
“I see,” she replied.
“Mom, stop,” Cas said stepping around her.
“What?”
“He knows.”
“How?”
“He’s a smart guy.”
“And what are you going to do about it?”
“I suggested that he erase his memories,” Jo said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I agree,” Ellen replied, copying her daughter’s actions.
“I thought about it.”
“But…” the two women in the Singer family said.
“He doesn’t want them erased.”
“I don’t care.”
“Mom,” Cas said. He tried not to sound like a kid about it, but he couldn’t help it. No matter how old he got, and how many lives he saved, he’d still be his mother’s son. “I trust him.”
“He’s the reason you were stabbed,” Jo countered.
“He wasn’t the reason,” Cas said as loudly as he could without yelling. He glared at his sister. “I’m done talking about this.”
“Until your dad comes in,” his mom answered.
“Where is he anyway?” Jo asked. “I thought he was right behind us.”
“He’s supposed to be bringing the bags up.”
“How long are you planning on staying here?” Cas asked. He was hoping the answer was a couple of days at the most. He knew that he was wishing for too much.
“Until you’re better.”
“I can take care of myself, mom.”
“I don’t care. My son almost died on national TV. I have a right to baby him.”
“You’re over-” Cas was interrupted by someone knocking on the door. He took a step toward it, but stopped when everyone in this apartment glared at him.
Jo opened the door wide enough for their father to step in. She helped him lug in the bags that their parents had brought. “Hey, dad,” she said.
“Hey, sweetie,” he said, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead. He put down the two bags he was carrying. “There is a 67 Chevy Impala outside. Which of your neighbor’s does it belong to?”
“That’s mine, sir,” Dean said with a raised hand. He had no idea why, but he felt like it was an appropriate action.
“Good car.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Sorry.” He blushed. He couldn’t help but feel like he was meeting a girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Then he wondered why that was the first comparison that came to his head.
“Who are you again?”
Dean stuck his hand out toward Cas’s dad to greet him properly. “De-”
“He’s the one who has been taking pictures of Dark Angel.”
“Mother.”
“You?”
Cas saw Dean drop his hand back to his side. “Dad, don’t yell at him. Please. Dean didn’t do anything.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“He’s the reason that Cas was stabbed,” Jo said.
“He wasn’t holding the blade,” Bobby said, with a huff. He turned to stare at Dean. “Were you?”
“No,” Dean said, stepping back. He was offended that they could even suggest that. “Definitely not.”
Bobby turned his attention back to the women in his family without saying a word to Dean. “And Cas is old enough to know what he was doing. He made the decision to go after those men.”
“Thank you,” Cas said with a sigh. He was glad his dad was being the reasonable one.
“Stop talking,” Bobby said, interrupting his son from saying anything else. “Why aren’t you lying down?”
Cas rolled his eyes. “We aren’t talking about that right now, dad.”
“Right. Cas would’ve went after those men regardless of who they were holding hostage.” With those words, that part of the conversation was done. He turned to look at Dean again. “So you know my son’s secret.”
“Yes.”
“Can I trust you to keep it?”
Dean turned to look at Cas. He stared into Cas’s eyes and he knew there was only one answer to the question. “With my life.”
“Do you understand the gravity of having to keep a secret like this?”
“Yes.”
“And you do know that if you do anything to jeopardize my son-”
“I’ll buy the shovel for you to bury me with,” he said, finishing Bobby’s thought. Then he waited to see if that was the correct answer or not.
It felt like an hour before a smile broke across Bobby’s face. He clapped a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Good man. Then again, I expected it from the car you drive.” Bobby stuck out his hand.
Dean tried not to show how relieved he was when he put his hand in it and shook it. “Thanks.”
“Thank goodness,” Cas sighed when he realized Dean survived meeting his parents. He moved to stand next to Dean. “So, this discussion is over, right?”
“For now,” Jo replied.
Cas turned to his mother, knowing that she wasn’t going to let it go as easily as her husband did. “Mother?”
“For now,” she repeated.
“All right,” Cas said. He knew that it was the best answer he’d get from her.
“Cas, honey, where do we put our bags?”
“The room, down the hall, on the left.”
“Is that the guest room?” Bobby asked.
“No, that’s my room. You two will stay in there and I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No, you won’t,” the other three Singers replied.
Cas stepped back, scared. Sometimes, his family was scarier than the villains and dangers he faced on a daily basis. “You are all being unreasonable. The couch is comfortable enough.”
“Then Jo will sleep on it.”
“Yeah,” Jo replied.
“If you three are going to stay here and coddle me, at least let me make it comfortable for you. Besides I don’t need to sleep.”
“Doesn’t mean you won’t.” His mother was famous for saying threatening things without sounding threatening.
“Of course not, mom.”
Dean waited for one of the Singers to say something else. When only silence passed between them, he figured it was safe enough for him to speak up. “I really should go,” he said and took a step toward the door.
Cas’s hand shot out and he grabbed Dean’s before he was out of his reach. “Stay for dinner, please.”
His thoughts instantly went to the first time he met Castiel on the roof. He tried to stop himself from blushing. Dean put his hand on Cas’s and squeezed it. “Cas, it’s the first night your family has been here.” He would have thought that Cas would have wanted to spend some time with his family.
“They’ll be here for a few days, Dean. “
“Weeks,” Ellen corrected.
Cas continued to speak as if he didn’t hear his mother. The idea that his family would be staying with him in his apartment for weeks was not something he wanted to talk about. “And they tend to cook for an army.”
“Cas, next time,” he said, prying Cas’s hand from his.
“Please,” Cas pleaded, staring into Dean’s eyes. He squeezed Dean’s hand. He needed him to stay. He needed the back-up. And to make sure that Dean really was all right with everything he had learned. “The more food you eat, the less food they can force feed me.”
“But you are too thin,” he replied. His words sounded like he was leaving, but he could not deny Cas when he looked like that. Not when Cas was giving him the same pleading look from the alley.
“Dean.” He didn’t know why he was pressing so hard for Dean to stay. In his head, since they all knew his secret, they needed to get use to having each other’s company. That was logical enough.
“Fine.”
“Thank you,” Cas said. He was glad that Dean decided to stay. This meant that at least for one night, his parents wouldn’t lecture him about his superhero lifestyle.
“You’re welcome.” He walked over to Cas and gently grabbed his arm. “That being said, you should sit down before your entire family ties you to the couch.”
Cas looked at his family and he could swear that what Dean had said was on their minds. “Sitting sounds like a good idea.”
Dean helped Cas over to the couch. He sat Cas down on one end while he sat on the other.
[ Part 11]
When Cas saw Dean’s face, he knew that he had heard his conversation with his sister. He took in a deep breath then let it out. He tried to think of the right words to say to start the conversation.
There was so much that he wanted to tell Dean. He figured that he’d start from the beginning.
“I was found by the Ellen and Bobby Singer one night in their junkyard. I was just a baby wrapped in a blanket with two parallel scars running down my back. They told me that from the moment they held me in their arms, I was their child. Blood or no blood. I was theirs.
“My parents knew that something wasn’t normal about me because as a child I never got sick, and every time I got scraped up, the injury would heal right before their eyes. And apparently whenever they were injured, I healed them. They had to use fake medical documents for me to be able to go to school.
“When I was six years old, I fell out of a tree. I hit my head and broke pretty much every bone on the right side of my body. Mom and dad were freaking out. They didn’t know if they could take me to a hospital or not because they weren’t sure if they’d have my blood type and they didn’t want to answer doctor’s questions and all that.
“They decided against it. They put me in bed and fixed me up the best that they could, and waited to see if I would eventually need a hospital. They didn’t sleep for two nights, watching and waiting to see if I’d heal. I woke up on the third day with most of the bones mended, and a headache.
“I was terrified because mom always warned me to never climb the tall trees because they were dangerous. I was scared that she was going to yell at me. But what she did instead scared me more. She just leaned over while she was holding Jo and kissed me on the forehead. She told me to never scare her like that again.
“That day forth, I promised to never worry my mom again. Then when I was eighteen, we were on a family road trip. At least, we were heading back home. It was night and we were pretty much alone on the highway. The truck driver of a semi fell asleep and slammed into us.”
“Cas,” Dean whispered. He found himself tearing up at the stories that Cas was telling him.
Cas heard Dean say his name, but he continued as if he didn’t. He needed to finish the story. “I was the first to regain consciousness. The car had flipped a couple of times and I was thrown from it. I made my way back to it and saw my family still unconscious. It was bad and I knew that if I didn’t get help soon, then they were going to die.
“I felt this itch in my back and then it sounded like a giant bird was behind me. I don’t know why I did it, but I put my hands on the roof of the car and imagined the hospital. The next thing I knew, I was at the emergency area. I don’t remember saying anything, just pointing. Then everything went dark.
“When I woke up, mom was sitting next to me, crying. Then I got it. She was scared that my secret could’ve been discovered. I may have looked human, but I wasn’t. And since I wasn’t, I could’ve been taken away from them. She has this fear of people running tests on me and she’d never see me again. I don’t really know how we got out of that predicament. I don’t know if I did something, or my angelic brothers helped me. But that secret…”
Cas stopped his story there. He didn’t know what else he could have added. He waited for Dean to say something, but he never did. He turned to face Dean. “Can we talk?” he asked, for the first time acknowledging him since they went out onto the porch.
“Sit first. You look like you’re about to pass out.” Dean grabbed Cas’s upper arm and helped him sit down on the bench that was behind them. Dean sat down next to him, putting as much space between them as he could, which wasn’t much considering how small it was.
Then they sat in silence. Neither of them wanted to start the conversation that they both knew they needed, but didn’t want to have.
After a few minutes, Cas spoke up. “Dean,” he whispered.
“I don’t want you to erase my memories,” Dean said quickly before Cas could even suggest it.
“Dean, I…”
“I’m not in danger knowing that you’re Dark Angel. It was just a fluke that those guys used me. Next time, I won’t announce who I am.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Then what is it?”
Cas took in a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly. “It’s a lot to ask you to keep this secret of mine.”
“You didn’t ask.”
Cas looked at Dean. “Which makes it much worse.” When Dean turned to meet his gaze, he looked down at his lap. “Dean, my sister couldn’t even visit me when I was in the hospital. We try to live normal lives-”
Dean reached up and put a hand on Cas’s arm. “But you’re not normal, Cas.” When he realized what he said, he pulled his hand like he had just touched a hot stove. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re an angel.”
“I know you didn’t. But my family is normal, Dean. I know what they have to go through every day when they hear about me on the news. I wouldn’t want that to burden anyone else. I’m terrified of what would happen to them if my secret got out.”
“Cas.”
“I care about you too much to have you carry this.”
“But what if I want to?”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. My family knows how to keep this secret. They’ve kept it for years. It’s important to them.”
“This is important to me too,” Dean said. The guy that he had been working side by side with for more than three years was the same guy who risked his life everyday to protect the planet. It was the same guy he cared about. “I could learn,” he whispered.
“I don’t want you to have to learn, Dean. Keeping secrets, this secret, especially, is hard.”
“Why don’t you want me to know? Why are you so keen on me not knowing this secret?” His throat was tight. Cas rarely argued with him about anything. He thought that he’d earned Cas and Castiel’s trust over the last few weeks. He wanted to know what changed.
“Dean. You just can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because then you’d notice.”
“Notice?” Dean asked.
Cas bit his lip. He didn’t want to tell Dean, knowing that it would add more to Dean’s guilty conscious. “You never noticed when I’d leave the bullpen to go and save someone. When I came back nobody would notice that I was missing. And if they did, it wouldn’t be until much later and they didn’t really care that I was gone for so long. I could be gone for hours and no one would really care.”
“Cas, I…”
Cas reached a hand out and put it on Dean’s shoulder. He regretted telling Dean, but it was needed. Now he needed to stop the guilt. “It’s okay, Dean. The point was that you guys weren’t supposed to notice. But if you-”
“How could I not notice?” he yelled. He jumped up off the bench and put more space between him and Cas. “We’re partners. We’re friends. Aren’t we?”
“Dean.” He could see the anguish in Dean’s eyes. He tried to stand up so that he could explain without having to talk so loudly.
Dean put a hand up to stop Cas from standing, knowing exactly what Cas was trying to do. “No,” he yelled with enough to keep him seated. He wasn’t willing to accept Cas’s comfort. He took a deep breath, knowing that he’d have to calm down or he’d expose Cas’s secret to everyone on the apartment building. “I should have noticed that every time you weren’t in the bullpen, Dark Angel would show up. Three years. Three freaking years. What kind of reporter am I? Why didn’t I put it together?”
“Because I didn’t want you to. Because it worked that way. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, Dean.”
Dean stared at Cas, ready to continue the argument, but he realized that he couldn’t. He knew that he’d only continue yelling at Cas’s direction and that Cas didn’t need that right now. “Right. I guess I’m not putting much faith in you trusting me with this secret right now, am I? All this freaking out.” He plopped back down on the bench.
Cas noticed that there was more space between them than when they first sat down. “It’s understandable. It is a lot of information to take in.”
“Stop,” Dean whispered. “Stop being so nice.”
Cas smiled. “You’re asking the impossible.”
“You are right though, this is a lot of information.”
Cas put his hands on his thighs and rubbed them out of nervousness. “I always imagined that if I ended up telling someone my secret, it would come out gradually. Not in a big outpouring.”
“I don’t think you can avoid all of this coming out at once,” Dean replied.
“I guess not.” Something in Cas knew that it was true. In for a penny.
Dean scooted down the bench and got as close to Cas as he could without touching him. He wanted to grab Cas’s hand, but he felt that it would have been a little inappropriate. He’d have to learn to deal with the feelings he felt for Castiel before he knew that it was Cas. He settled for putting a hand on Cas’s forearm. He felt it was safe enough. “Cas, please don’t erase my memories. I mean, you can do it if you want to, but I don’t want you to.”
Cas stared at the hand on his arm. Time slowed. He needed to think about what to do next. He began weighing the pros and cons of Dean knowing, but he realized that making a list would take too long. All he had to do was look at Dean and see how determined he was to keep the secret. “Okay,” he whispered.
“Okay?” Dean repeated, pulling his hand away when he turned his entire body to face Cas. He hoped he didn’t look too happy.
“I won’t erase your memories. I trust you. And I know you’re responsible. But if you ever feel like it’s too much to keep this secret, tell me and I’ll-”
“You won’t have to. I promise.”
“I know,” Cas said, letting out a long sigh. He groaned when he felt a dull pain in his side. He brought a hand up to cover it.
“Why isn’t your wound healed?” Dean asked, staring down at Cas’s hand.
“There was something about the weapon that stabbed me. Something made just to hurt angels.”
“So you can’t heal it like you healed the bullet wound.”
“My healing abilities have been diminished. I can still feel most of my injuries from the fall.”
“Then why the hell did you come to work?” he said as angrily as he could without yelling at the other man. “You should’ve just stayed home.”
“I thought that Crowley would have fired me from missing so many days. I didn’t realize how long I was unconscious. And I didn’t know it was the first day back to work. I thought that you guys had been working while I was in the hospital. I could only be sick for so many days. And I couldn’t exactly list falling from the sky as an excuse for missing work.”
Dean’s anger disappeared quickly, and smiled. He knew that Cas was too dedicated to the job. He bit his lip and looked at Cas. For the first time, he actually saw the real Cas. Without all the tension walls put up because he had to keep a secret. He looked more at ease. “Hey, Cas,” Dean said softly. Cas looked up and Dean looked at him to meet his gaze. “What do you remember about that day?”
“Not much after catching you after you fell.”
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “I was thrown,” Dean said defensively. Saying that he fell made it seem like it was his fault.
“Yes, you were,” Cas agreed with a smile. “But I remember having to land somewhere safe. An alley? Maybe? Then nothing. After that, I woke up and was in the hospital with your shirt in my hand.”
“So, you don’t remember anything between that?”
“Not really.” Cas shook his head then looked out up to the sky. “Jo filled me in on the explosion and the fall. I’m actually glad I don’t remember that.”
Dean found himself looking at the sky too. “Me too.” He couldn’t even imagine the thoughts that went through Cas’s head as everything happened that day.
“Maybe the memories will eventually come back,” Cas said.
Dean’s eyes widened, then quickly settled. He didn’t want Cas to remember what happened between the two of them in the alley. “You… you think so?” he asked. He looked at Cas, hoping that the angel couldn’t tell how nervous he was.
“I don’t know.” Cas tilted his head and looked into his eyes. “Do you want to fill in the blanks?” Something told him that only Dean would be able to fill certain holes in his memory.
Dean bit his bottom lip. Cas deserved the truth. Hell, he deserved a lot, but Dean wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell him everything that happened in the alley. He’d settle for telling him parts of the story. “You zapped us was an alley, and I had to pull out the-”
“Cas?”
Dean’s shoulders sagged. He was glad for the interruption. He really did not want to tell Cas about what happened between the two of them. “We’re out here,” Dean yelled.
“Where did you go?” Cas asked.
“I-”
“Where is he?” called a voice from just outside the apartment.
Dean looked at Cas whose eyes were so wide they looked like they would fall out of his head. He looked terrified. “Cas?”
Cas turned around stared at the door as another woman entered his apartment. He swallowed hard. “Mother?” he whispered.
“Lucas William Singer. What did I tell you about scaring me like that?”
Cas stared at his mother with wide eyes. It took him a few minutes to realize that his mom was actually standing in front of him and scolding him. Cas immediately felt like he was six years old all over again. “I’m sorry, mom.” He stood up with Dean’s help and walked into the living room.
Ellen lifted up Cas’s jacket and saw the bandages still covering the stab wound. “Joanna Beth, I told you to feed your brother.”
“I tried, mom, but you know how difficult he can be.”
Ellen pulled down the jacket and straightened it. She put her hands on her son’s cheeks and smiled. She looked into her son’s eyes like she was never going to do it again. “I know.” She pulled the taller man down and kissed him on the forehead. “Cas, go lie down. I’ll make you something to eat.”
Cas sighed and rolled his eyes, not enjoying that he was being treated and felt like he was a kid again. “I’ve been lying down all day.”
“I should go,” Dean said, finally speaking up. He felt like he was intruding on a family moment.
Ellen moved her son off to the side to see where the mysterious voice came from. She saw a man about Cas’s age standing in the doorway. “Who are you?” she asked, slipping into mama bear mode. She put herself between the stranger and her son.
“Dean Winchester.”
“The photographer.”
Dean dropped his hand, knowing that he wasn’t going to get a handshake from her. He could hear the venom in her voice. “Yeah.”
“I see,” she replied.
“Mom, stop,” Cas said stepping around her.
“What?”
“He knows.”
“How?”
“He’s a smart guy.”
“And what are you going to do about it?”
“I suggested that he erase his memories,” Jo said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I agree,” Ellen replied, copying her daughter’s actions.
“I thought about it.”
“But…” the two women in the Singer family said.
“He doesn’t want them erased.”
“I don’t care.”
“Mom,” Cas said. He tried not to sound like a kid about it, but he couldn’t help it. No matter how old he got, and how many lives he saved, he’d still be his mother’s son. “I trust him.”
“He’s the reason you were stabbed,” Jo countered.
“He wasn’t the reason,” Cas said as loudly as he could without yelling. He glared at his sister. “I’m done talking about this.”
“Until your dad comes in,” his mom answered.
“Where is he anyway?” Jo asked. “I thought he was right behind us.”
“He’s supposed to be bringing the bags up.”
“How long are you planning on staying here?” Cas asked. He was hoping the answer was a couple of days at the most. He knew that he was wishing for too much.
“Until you’re better.”
“I can take care of myself, mom.”
“I don’t care. My son almost died on national TV. I have a right to baby him.”
“You’re over-” Cas was interrupted by someone knocking on the door. He took a step toward it, but stopped when everyone in this apartment glared at him.
Jo opened the door wide enough for their father to step in. She helped him lug in the bags that their parents had brought. “Hey, dad,” she said.
“Hey, sweetie,” he said, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead. He put down the two bags he was carrying. “There is a 67 Chevy Impala outside. Which of your neighbor’s does it belong to?”
“That’s mine, sir,” Dean said with a raised hand. He had no idea why, but he felt like it was an appropriate action.
“Good car.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Sorry.” He blushed. He couldn’t help but feel like he was meeting a girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Then he wondered why that was the first comparison that came to his head.
“Who are you again?”
Dean stuck his hand out toward Cas’s dad to greet him properly. “De-”
“He’s the one who has been taking pictures of Dark Angel.”
“Mother.”
“You?”
Cas saw Dean drop his hand back to his side. “Dad, don’t yell at him. Please. Dean didn’t do anything.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“He’s the reason that Cas was stabbed,” Jo said.
“He wasn’t holding the blade,” Bobby said, with a huff. He turned to stare at Dean. “Were you?”
“No,” Dean said, stepping back. He was offended that they could even suggest that. “Definitely not.”
Bobby turned his attention back to the women in his family without saying a word to Dean. “And Cas is old enough to know what he was doing. He made the decision to go after those men.”
“Thank you,” Cas said with a sigh. He was glad his dad was being the reasonable one.
“Stop talking,” Bobby said, interrupting his son from saying anything else. “Why aren’t you lying down?”
Cas rolled his eyes. “We aren’t talking about that right now, dad.”
“Right. Cas would’ve went after those men regardless of who they were holding hostage.” With those words, that part of the conversation was done. He turned to look at Dean again. “So you know my son’s secret.”
“Yes.”
“Can I trust you to keep it?”
Dean turned to look at Cas. He stared into Cas’s eyes and he knew there was only one answer to the question. “With my life.”
“Do you understand the gravity of having to keep a secret like this?”
“Yes.”
“And you do know that if you do anything to jeopardize my son-”
“I’ll buy the shovel for you to bury me with,” he said, finishing Bobby’s thought. Then he waited to see if that was the correct answer or not.
It felt like an hour before a smile broke across Bobby’s face. He clapped a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Good man. Then again, I expected it from the car you drive.” Bobby stuck out his hand.
Dean tried not to show how relieved he was when he put his hand in it and shook it. “Thanks.”
“Thank goodness,” Cas sighed when he realized Dean survived meeting his parents. He moved to stand next to Dean. “So, this discussion is over, right?”
“For now,” Jo replied.
Cas turned to his mother, knowing that she wasn’t going to let it go as easily as her husband did. “Mother?”
“For now,” she repeated.
“All right,” Cas said. He knew that it was the best answer he’d get from her.
“Cas, honey, where do we put our bags?”
“The room, down the hall, on the left.”
“Is that the guest room?” Bobby asked.
“No, that’s my room. You two will stay in there and I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No, you won’t,” the other three Singers replied.
Cas stepped back, scared. Sometimes, his family was scarier than the villains and dangers he faced on a daily basis. “You are all being unreasonable. The couch is comfortable enough.”
“Then Jo will sleep on it.”
“Yeah,” Jo replied.
“If you three are going to stay here and coddle me, at least let me make it comfortable for you. Besides I don’t need to sleep.”
“Doesn’t mean you won’t.” His mother was famous for saying threatening things without sounding threatening.
“Of course not, mom.”
Dean waited for one of the Singers to say something else. When only silence passed between them, he figured it was safe enough for him to speak up. “I really should go,” he said and took a step toward the door.
Cas’s hand shot out and he grabbed Dean’s before he was out of his reach. “Stay for dinner, please.”
His thoughts instantly went to the first time he met Castiel on the roof. He tried to stop himself from blushing. Dean put his hand on Cas’s and squeezed it. “Cas, it’s the first night your family has been here.” He would have thought that Cas would have wanted to spend some time with his family.
“They’ll be here for a few days, Dean. “
“Weeks,” Ellen corrected.
Cas continued to speak as if he didn’t hear his mother. The idea that his family would be staying with him in his apartment for weeks was not something he wanted to talk about. “And they tend to cook for an army.”
“Cas, next time,” he said, prying Cas’s hand from his.
“Please,” Cas pleaded, staring into Dean’s eyes. He squeezed Dean’s hand. He needed him to stay. He needed the back-up. And to make sure that Dean really was all right with everything he had learned. “The more food you eat, the less food they can force feed me.”
“But you are too thin,” he replied. His words sounded like he was leaving, but he could not deny Cas when he looked like that. Not when Cas was giving him the same pleading look from the alley.
“Dean.” He didn’t know why he was pressing so hard for Dean to stay. In his head, since they all knew his secret, they needed to get use to having each other’s company. That was logical enough.
“Fine.”
“Thank you,” Cas said. He was glad that Dean decided to stay. This meant that at least for one night, his parents wouldn’t lecture him about his superhero lifestyle.
“You’re welcome.” He walked over to Cas and gently grabbed his arm. “That being said, you should sit down before your entire family ties you to the couch.”
Cas looked at his family and he could swear that what Dean had said was on their minds. “Sitting sounds like a good idea.”
Dean helped Cas over to the couch. He sat Cas down on one end while he sat on the other.
[ Part 11]