If I Knew Then... Ch 4
Title: If I Knew Then...
Author: Shade
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG to NC17
Disclaimer: All assorted characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss which is fine, because I suspect Buffy's high maintenance anyway.
Summary: AU-The African demon in Grave grants Spike's wish in a way he never planned. Flung back in time, he has to relive the previous three years with all the knowledge of what's to come.
A/N: These chapters were beated by the awesome blinding_sight. Certain bits of dialogue are taken from the following BtVS episodes.
4.10 Hush
Chapter 4: "Hush"
When the phone rings, Spike is closer than Giles so he answers. Not because he's a house vamp, no matter what Buffy says, but because he's bored.
"Giles' House of Debauchery. Spank you for calling."
"Give me that!" the Watcher says and snatches away the receiver. "Buffy? No, that wasn't funny and you can stop laughing. No. Yes... wait, let me write this down. 'Can't even shout; Can't even cry; The gentlemen are coming by.' You sure it's nothing you heard when you were a child? Oh all right. Nothing else? Um hm, well it could be. I'll run it by Spike.... No, there won't be any spanking involved! Goodbye, Buffy!" Giles all but slams the phone down in resentment. He looks over and asks, "Does that make any sense to you?"
"Oh, like you don't know anything about spanking."
Giles gives a tight sigh before responding, "The rhyme, Spike."
"Yeah, bunch of demons show up and take every ones' voices away. No big deal. Buffy takes care of it."
"Innocents could be harmed. You don't seem very worried."
Spike gives the man his best 'you must be joking' look.
"Spike, I don't think I like the fact that you seem unconcerned about some things and withhold information on others. That whole fiasco with Willow's 'will be done' spell could have been averted if you'd just told me about it in the first place."
"Well, you didn't do so hot the first time 'round. I just needed to take care of that one myself is all."
"And you did such a spectacular job," the Watcher says wryly.
Spike waves the annoying man away and goes back to looking through old books for naked pictures. It's not long before the door opens and Xander and Anya enter in the middle of an argument.
"Well I think we should talk about it now," Anya says obviously aggravated.
Giles mumbles to himself, "Thank you for knocking."
"If you don't know how I feel about you..." Xander wheedles.
Spike stands between them and watches the sparks fly. He'd forgotten how entertaining this was. At the time his mind had disregarded it when Giles had announced that he was going to stay with Harris.
"I don't. This isn't a relationship. You don't need me, all you care about is lots of orgasms," Anya announces loudly.
Spike pats Xander on the back and says, "That a boy."
Xander shakes off his arm and steps away. He's still skittish after the 'will be done' induced attack. Spike rolls his eyes and looks over at Anya.
"You should dump him, love. You can do better."
"Hey! Butt out of my personal life, Fangless!"
"Perhaps you shouldn't bring your personal life into the middle of my living room," Giles observes. "Why are you here, anyway?"
"Mom said you wanted me to swing by."
"Yes, I meant after sunset. I need you to take Spike for a few days."
"What!" the boy barks.
"What?" Anya doesn't look anymore pleased.
"Oh calm down," Spike says. "Giles' lady friend is coming for a visit. If anyone deserves a good shag it's him after putting up with you lot."
Giles shoots him a death ray glance. Spike, being already dead, just shrugs.
"He's not roaming around. He stays with me, he's gonna get tied up again."
Spike shoots the boy his own withering glance. "You are not tying me to that bloody chair again, you little sod. It was the spell! I'm not going to hurt you. That dank basement is punishment enough--believe me--without you adding bondage to your bag of tricks."
Xander flushes and grabs his bird pulling her back out the door. Spike chuckles and looks over at the Watcher. He receives a disapproving look for his trouble. For the rest of the afternoon Giles quizzes him on The Gentlemen. Spike admits he didn't have much to do with them, so he doesn't know a lot. He does tell the man about the three suicidal demons that threaten the Hellmouth right after. Giles takes down the information to research later. At dusk, the boy shows up looking very unhappy. Spike gets his duster and they're off.
As he's lighting up a cigarette, Harris says, "There are going to be rules."
"All right."
"You're just saying that because you plan on breaking all of them, aren't you?"
"It depends on the rules. Listen, kid, I'm going to be staying with you a bit. Neither of us are really happy about it, but there you are. Why don't we get everything out on the table now and save ourselves some grief?"
They walk a bit more before Xander stops and yells, "You tried to... eat me!"
"Which time?"
This brings the boy up short. "What?"
"Which time are you referring to?" He counts them off on his fingers. "Let's see, there was that time with Angel at the school when I first showed up. Um, Halloween, but I was more after Buffy then. I know I definitely promised Red I'd kill you when I came back after Dru left me and wanted her to do that spell. I'm sure there are a couple of other times I'm forgetting. Or are you talking about last week when Willow put the whammy on both of us and I had no choice?"
Xander gapes at him and crosses his arms. "If you're making a case for me tying you up, you're doing a great job."
"I'm just making a point. I'm a vampire. I've done nasty things, but you notice that the last time it took a spell on both of us before I'd bother. Listen, Harris, you and I are never going to be best pals, but we can get on if we both try. I'm offering, mostly because I'm probably out of my sodding mind, but there you go. It's up to you."
Spike turns and starts heading for Xander's house and leaves him on the sidewalk wondering. It's a few minutes before he catches up and Spike looks at him. He can hear the boy's gears grinding away trying to figure things out. Harris doesn't say a word until they reach the house.
"Come in, Spike."
The basement is as pathetic as he remembers. For the first time, he looks at it, and looks at Harris standing in it, and feels sorry for the boy. He remembers the crap jobs the kid slaved over just so he could pay his worthless parents for the privilege of living in such squalor. Even his crypt had been more appealing. At least it had atmosphere. Spike stops his thoughts there. The last thing he needs is to start getting soft on the Scoobies. His girl bonding with Willow was bad enough last week. He doesn't need to play mentor to the boy too.
Harris flits around cleaning up as if he had a real houseguest. Half way through he realizes what he's doing and just tosses the comic books in his hand back on the cheap little coffee table. Spike still hasn't stepped in further than the doorway. Xander stands in the middle of the room rubbing a hand through his hair. They both glance up at the same time and their eyes meet.
With a sigh, Harris says, "I can handle you trying to eat me. I've lived on the Hellmouth a while now, I'm kind of used to it. It was the other things you were doing that really freaked me out."
Spike tilts his head and ponders this news. He's trying to remember just what he did that got the boy so worked up. "What now?" he asks.
"You beat up that demon and then Anya all possessive like," he says not looking at Spike anymore. "Then you were all over me and... It was just weird, okay. And now you're being reasonable which is giving me the wiggins even more. I guess... I guess I just had you in a certain box in my mind, and now since you've shown up knowing the future or whatever and acting semi-decent you just don't fit into that box anymore."
"People change."
"You told Angel that night in the school that demons didn't."
"Yeah, well I'm evil. I have the tendency to lie a lot."
"Why are you helping us? Don't say it's the chip and you have to, because you really don't. I’m not stupid. I know that piece of hardware doesn't stop you from getting rid of us."
Spike finally makes his way over to the couch and sits down. He rolls his lighter between his fingers and thinks. Why is he helping them? He's survived three years of humiliation and pain. He could be using his knowledge to make sure the white hats don't win, and yet here he is in Xander's depressing basement like there isn't anywhere else he could be. The answer's simple enough. It's the girl. It's always the girl. He told Buffy and Angel once that he was love's bitch and it is truer now than it was then. He looks up at Harris who is still waiting for an answer.
"Like I said before, people change. Now, are we done with the Hallmark moments? I'd like to watch some telly, if you don't mind."
The boy doesn't look satisfied, but that's the best he's going to get any time soon. He flops down on the couch next to Spike and flips on the TV. They watch some crap made for TV action flick and he tries not to let Xander's questions eat away at him. They spend the rest of the evening like vegetables until it's time for Xander to go to bed. Spike moves over to the ugly orange barcalounger while the boy unfolds the couch.
He watches Harris glance at a coil of rope that sits on top of the workbench on the other side of the room. The boy looks back at him before frowning and undressing for bed leaving the rope untouched. Spike smiles and then grimaces at the sight of Xander's boxer shorts.
"It's a wonder the demon girl shags you at all with pants like that."
Xander glances down at his underwear and looks back at Spike with a grin. "It's not the shorts, it's what's in them that counts."
"Oh please," he says rolling his eyes. "By the way, when you wake up in the morning and can't talk, it's not my fault."
"What?"
"Demon thing. They're going to take everyone's voices. So if you have anything you desperately want to confess to me, do it now."
"Do we get them back?" Xander asks worriedly.
"Yes, git. Slayer does her thing and it's over in a day."
"Oh. Go Buffy!"
"Rah, rah," Spike says in a flat tone. He watches Harris reach over and turn off the lamp plunging the room into darkness. His eyes adjust quickly and he watches the boy squirm around on the bed and get comfortable. The room is quiet, filled only with the sounds of human breathing. After a while Xander breaks the silence.
"I always thought you were our coolest bad guy."
"What?" he asks and he can't keep the surprise out of his voice.
"That's my confession, and I'll deny I ever said it to my grave. Goodnight."
Spike sits silently in the darkness and listens to Harris slowly fall asleep. For some reason, he can't seem to keep the smile off his face.
Author: Shade
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG to NC17
Disclaimer: All assorted characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss which is fine, because I suspect Buffy's high maintenance anyway.
Summary: AU-The African demon in Grave grants Spike's wish in a way he never planned. Flung back in time, he has to relive the previous three years with all the knowledge of what's to come.
A/N: These chapters were beated by the awesome blinding_sight. Certain bits of dialogue are taken from the following BtVS episodes.
4.10 Hush
Chapter 4: "Hush"
When the phone rings, Spike is closer than Giles so he answers. Not because he's a house vamp, no matter what Buffy says, but because he's bored.
"Giles' House of Debauchery. Spank you for calling."
"Give me that!" the Watcher says and snatches away the receiver. "Buffy? No, that wasn't funny and you can stop laughing. No. Yes... wait, let me write this down. 'Can't even shout; Can't even cry; The gentlemen are coming by.' You sure it's nothing you heard when you were a child? Oh all right. Nothing else? Um hm, well it could be. I'll run it by Spike.... No, there won't be any spanking involved! Goodbye, Buffy!" Giles all but slams the phone down in resentment. He looks over and asks, "Does that make any sense to you?"
"Oh, like you don't know anything about spanking."
Giles gives a tight sigh before responding, "The rhyme, Spike."
"Yeah, bunch of demons show up and take every ones' voices away. No big deal. Buffy takes care of it."
"Innocents could be harmed. You don't seem very worried."
Spike gives the man his best 'you must be joking' look.
"Spike, I don't think I like the fact that you seem unconcerned about some things and withhold information on others. That whole fiasco with Willow's 'will be done' spell could have been averted if you'd just told me about it in the first place."
"Well, you didn't do so hot the first time 'round. I just needed to take care of that one myself is all."
"And you did such a spectacular job," the Watcher says wryly.
Spike waves the annoying man away and goes back to looking through old books for naked pictures. It's not long before the door opens and Xander and Anya enter in the middle of an argument.
"Well I think we should talk about it now," Anya says obviously aggravated.
Giles mumbles to himself, "Thank you for knocking."
"If you don't know how I feel about you..." Xander wheedles.
Spike stands between them and watches the sparks fly. He'd forgotten how entertaining this was. At the time his mind had disregarded it when Giles had announced that he was going to stay with Harris.
"I don't. This isn't a relationship. You don't need me, all you care about is lots of orgasms," Anya announces loudly.
Spike pats Xander on the back and says, "That a boy."
Xander shakes off his arm and steps away. He's still skittish after the 'will be done' induced attack. Spike rolls his eyes and looks over at Anya.
"You should dump him, love. You can do better."
"Hey! Butt out of my personal life, Fangless!"
"Perhaps you shouldn't bring your personal life into the middle of my living room," Giles observes. "Why are you here, anyway?"
"Mom said you wanted me to swing by."
"Yes, I meant after sunset. I need you to take Spike for a few days."
"What!" the boy barks.
"What?" Anya doesn't look anymore pleased.
"Oh calm down," Spike says. "Giles' lady friend is coming for a visit. If anyone deserves a good shag it's him after putting up with you lot."
Giles shoots him a death ray glance. Spike, being already dead, just shrugs.
"He's not roaming around. He stays with me, he's gonna get tied up again."
Spike shoots the boy his own withering glance. "You are not tying me to that bloody chair again, you little sod. It was the spell! I'm not going to hurt you. That dank basement is punishment enough--believe me--without you adding bondage to your bag of tricks."
Xander flushes and grabs his bird pulling her back out the door. Spike chuckles and looks over at the Watcher. He receives a disapproving look for his trouble. For the rest of the afternoon Giles quizzes him on The Gentlemen. Spike admits he didn't have much to do with them, so he doesn't know a lot. He does tell the man about the three suicidal demons that threaten the Hellmouth right after. Giles takes down the information to research later. At dusk, the boy shows up looking very unhappy. Spike gets his duster and they're off.
As he's lighting up a cigarette, Harris says, "There are going to be rules."
"All right."
"You're just saying that because you plan on breaking all of them, aren't you?"
"It depends on the rules. Listen, kid, I'm going to be staying with you a bit. Neither of us are really happy about it, but there you are. Why don't we get everything out on the table now and save ourselves some grief?"
They walk a bit more before Xander stops and yells, "You tried to... eat me!"
"Which time?"
This brings the boy up short. "What?"
"Which time are you referring to?" He counts them off on his fingers. "Let's see, there was that time with Angel at the school when I first showed up. Um, Halloween, but I was more after Buffy then. I know I definitely promised Red I'd kill you when I came back after Dru left me and wanted her to do that spell. I'm sure there are a couple of other times I'm forgetting. Or are you talking about last week when Willow put the whammy on both of us and I had no choice?"
Xander gapes at him and crosses his arms. "If you're making a case for me tying you up, you're doing a great job."
"I'm just making a point. I'm a vampire. I've done nasty things, but you notice that the last time it took a spell on both of us before I'd bother. Listen, Harris, you and I are never going to be best pals, but we can get on if we both try. I'm offering, mostly because I'm probably out of my sodding mind, but there you go. It's up to you."
Spike turns and starts heading for Xander's house and leaves him on the sidewalk wondering. It's a few minutes before he catches up and Spike looks at him. He can hear the boy's gears grinding away trying to figure things out. Harris doesn't say a word until they reach the house.
"Come in, Spike."
The basement is as pathetic as he remembers. For the first time, he looks at it, and looks at Harris standing in it, and feels sorry for the boy. He remembers the crap jobs the kid slaved over just so he could pay his worthless parents for the privilege of living in such squalor. Even his crypt had been more appealing. At least it had atmosphere. Spike stops his thoughts there. The last thing he needs is to start getting soft on the Scoobies. His girl bonding with Willow was bad enough last week. He doesn't need to play mentor to the boy too.
Harris flits around cleaning up as if he had a real houseguest. Half way through he realizes what he's doing and just tosses the comic books in his hand back on the cheap little coffee table. Spike still hasn't stepped in further than the doorway. Xander stands in the middle of the room rubbing a hand through his hair. They both glance up at the same time and their eyes meet.
With a sigh, Harris says, "I can handle you trying to eat me. I've lived on the Hellmouth a while now, I'm kind of used to it. It was the other things you were doing that really freaked me out."
Spike tilts his head and ponders this news. He's trying to remember just what he did that got the boy so worked up. "What now?" he asks.
"You beat up that demon and then Anya all possessive like," he says not looking at Spike anymore. "Then you were all over me and... It was just weird, okay. And now you're being reasonable which is giving me the wiggins even more. I guess... I guess I just had you in a certain box in my mind, and now since you've shown up knowing the future or whatever and acting semi-decent you just don't fit into that box anymore."
"People change."
"You told Angel that night in the school that demons didn't."
"Yeah, well I'm evil. I have the tendency to lie a lot."
"Why are you helping us? Don't say it's the chip and you have to, because you really don't. I’m not stupid. I know that piece of hardware doesn't stop you from getting rid of us."
Spike finally makes his way over to the couch and sits down. He rolls his lighter between his fingers and thinks. Why is he helping them? He's survived three years of humiliation and pain. He could be using his knowledge to make sure the white hats don't win, and yet here he is in Xander's depressing basement like there isn't anywhere else he could be. The answer's simple enough. It's the girl. It's always the girl. He told Buffy and Angel once that he was love's bitch and it is truer now than it was then. He looks up at Harris who is still waiting for an answer.
"Like I said before, people change. Now, are we done with the Hallmark moments? I'd like to watch some telly, if you don't mind."
The boy doesn't look satisfied, but that's the best he's going to get any time soon. He flops down on the couch next to Spike and flips on the TV. They watch some crap made for TV action flick and he tries not to let Xander's questions eat away at him. They spend the rest of the evening like vegetables until it's time for Xander to go to bed. Spike moves over to the ugly orange barcalounger while the boy unfolds the couch.
He watches Harris glance at a coil of rope that sits on top of the workbench on the other side of the room. The boy looks back at him before frowning and undressing for bed leaving the rope untouched. Spike smiles and then grimaces at the sight of Xander's boxer shorts.
"It's a wonder the demon girl shags you at all with pants like that."
Xander glances down at his underwear and looks back at Spike with a grin. "It's not the shorts, it's what's in them that counts."
"Oh please," he says rolling his eyes. "By the way, when you wake up in the morning and can't talk, it's not my fault."
"What?"
"Demon thing. They're going to take everyone's voices. So if you have anything you desperately want to confess to me, do it now."
"Do we get them back?" Xander asks worriedly.
"Yes, git. Slayer does her thing and it's over in a day."
"Oh. Go Buffy!"
"Rah, rah," Spike says in a flat tone. He watches Harris reach over and turn off the lamp plunging the room into darkness. His eyes adjust quickly and he watches the boy squirm around on the bed and get comfortable. The room is quiet, filled only with the sounds of human breathing. After a while Xander breaks the silence.
"I always thought you were our coolest bad guy."
"What?" he asks and he can't keep the surprise out of his voice.
"That's my confession, and I'll deny I ever said it to my grave. Goodnight."
Spike sits silently in the darkness and listens to Harris slowly fall asleep. For some reason, he can't seem to keep the smile off his face.