TM 180: If you could start your life over what would you do differently?
I think someone is toying with me.
Are you trying to understand my motivations? Are you looking for an apology? I wonder.
I am tired of this. Tired of the questions and recriminations. Tired of trying to explain or excuse. Tired of the disappointment in everyone's eyes. Tired of not understanding what you all want from me. Tired of trying. Tired of caring. Tired of everything.
I could tell you what you want to hear. I could tell you what you think you know. I could tell you what I've read in books or what the doctors have told me. I do not think I could tell you the truth because I do not believe I know what it is anymore.
There are many and sundry things I would change in my life. Of course, you already know that. Setting aside all of those I will focus on the two that give me the most trouble.
One, my father.
[Locked from Rogue because I am tired of her yelling at me.]
Dear Mr. Lensherr Magneto Father Sir
I do not know what to call you.
They say anytime your kids kill you, you are at least partly to blame. I blame you almost entirely for my life. And it is justified. You are a horrible father. No one would choose you as a father, and those that choose you as a leader are misguided or foolish. I, in turn, am an equally horrible daughter, but I am what you made me. With your absence. With your abuse. With your anger. With your failure to be anything other than a tyrant. I hate you.
Yet I still want you to be my father. I still watch you with your Brotherhood. With your pretty little girlfriend. With my sister. I see how they look at you. I see how you look at them. I wish I knew that man. I wonder why I don't.
I never wanted to be Magneto's daughter. I never wanted to be Magneto's anything. But if there exists inside you someone who is not Magneto, I would like to belong to that person.
[Unlocked]
Two, my power.
I do not like not having full access to my power over chaos. I feel small. And I realize, belatedly, tragically and ironically, what I have done. I realize why this has now been done to me. And I realize I can no longer pretend not to know what to do with myself.
I must find some way to reset things.
[Locked to Sylar]
Failing that, I will simply kill the rest of you.
ooc: The last sentence is Evil!Wanda, the rest is the blank/neutral Wanda who is trying to understand her existence. She doesn't like this question which is why she didn't really answer.
Are you trying to understand my motivations? Are you looking for an apology? I wonder.
I am tired of this. Tired of the questions and recriminations. Tired of trying to explain or excuse. Tired of the disappointment in everyone's eyes. Tired of not understanding what you all want from me. Tired of trying. Tired of caring. Tired of everything.
I could tell you what you want to hear. I could tell you what you think you know. I could tell you what I've read in books or what the doctors have told me. I do not think I could tell you the truth because I do not believe I know what it is anymore.
There are many and sundry things I would change in my life. Of course, you already know that. Setting aside all of those I will focus on the two that give me the most trouble.
One, my father.
[Locked from Rogue because I am tired of her yelling at me.]
Dear Mr. Lensherr Magneto Father Sir
I do not know what to call you.
They say anytime your kids kill you, you are at least partly to blame. I blame you almost entirely for my life. And it is justified. You are a horrible father. No one would choose you as a father, and those that choose you as a leader are misguided or foolish. I, in turn, am an equally horrible daughter, but I am what you made me. With your absence. With your abuse. With your anger. With your failure to be anything other than a tyrant. I hate you.
Yet I still want you to be my father. I still watch you with your Brotherhood. With your pretty little girlfriend. With my sister. I see how they look at you. I see how you look at them. I wish I knew that man. I wonder why I don't.
I never wanted to be Magneto's daughter. I never wanted to be Magneto's anything. But if there exists inside you someone who is not Magneto, I would like to belong to that person.
[Unlocked]
Two, my power.
I do not like not having full access to my power over chaos. I feel small. And I realize, belatedly, tragically and ironically, what I have done. I realize why this has now been done to me. And I realize I can no longer pretend not to know what to do with myself.
I must find some way to reset things.
[Locked to Sylar]
Failing that, I will simply kill the rest of you.
ooc: The last sentence is Evil!Wanda, the rest is the blank/neutral Wanda who is trying to understand her existence. She doesn't like this question which is why she didn't really answer.