house of the rising sun
i feel like a would half open.
therapy, they say, isn't always easy, and doesn't always feel so pleasant. today i simply could not make myself go into any more stores to put up flyers or hand out brochures for Rock Camp. no matter how much i love and believe in the project. I froze up and clammed up and generally became a prisoner of my panic.
of all the stupid shit. almost ten years later and doing a repetitive action i was forced to do as a young jehovah's witness beats me, at least for today.
my resolution is to do distribution in small pieces. I went out Thursday, now I went out Friday, I'll go back out again some places tomorrow... this would be fine, except for the fact that it needed to be done two weeks ago (not my fault it got delayed, I'm working with an idiot). And said idiot is out of town for the next five days.
A year ago I might have bit my lip and smothered my feelings of terror and made myself do it all in one setting.
Today, I took a break. Played a game for 10 minutes. Checked back in with myself, and ultimately decided any more might do some serious damage, or at least put me in a very unhealthy frame of mind that it would take days to figure out, possibly weeks to fix.
So which situation is better, is the question I suppose...
Is it better to get the job done, or better to look out for myself. Will I ever be able to do both at the same time?
my new gig is glorious, and insanely frustrating. i'm director of a summer music program for kids called Rock Camp. today it feels like i've inherited a sinking ship and a stupid cousin who keeps fouling things up.
guess we'll see. either way, it's killer resume fodder. i love the non profit sector, and would ideally work in it for a long time, as long as it isn't at a religious non-profit.
oh vomit.
v
therapy, they say, isn't always easy, and doesn't always feel so pleasant. today i simply could not make myself go into any more stores to put up flyers or hand out brochures for Rock Camp. no matter how much i love and believe in the project. I froze up and clammed up and generally became a prisoner of my panic.
of all the stupid shit. almost ten years later and doing a repetitive action i was forced to do as a young jehovah's witness beats me, at least for today.
my resolution is to do distribution in small pieces. I went out Thursday, now I went out Friday, I'll go back out again some places tomorrow... this would be fine, except for the fact that it needed to be done two weeks ago (not my fault it got delayed, I'm working with an idiot). And said idiot is out of town for the next five days.
A year ago I might have bit my lip and smothered my feelings of terror and made myself do it all in one setting.
Today, I took a break. Played a game for 10 minutes. Checked back in with myself, and ultimately decided any more might do some serious damage, or at least put me in a very unhealthy frame of mind that it would take days to figure out, possibly weeks to fix.
So which situation is better, is the question I suppose...
Is it better to get the job done, or better to look out for myself. Will I ever be able to do both at the same time?
my new gig is glorious, and insanely frustrating. i'm director of a summer music program for kids called Rock Camp. today it feels like i've inherited a sinking ship and a stupid cousin who keeps fouling things up.
guess we'll see. either way, it's killer resume fodder. i love the non profit sector, and would ideally work in it for a long time, as long as it isn't at a religious non-profit.
oh vomit.
v