Rofl...

[datnetie]

I'm just reading a Stargate SG-1 fanfic and found a great passage. It's something Jack O'Neill is thinking so bear with me ^^ But it's just so funny I couldn't resist posting it.
‘Hello. Thank you for calling Shrinks ‘R’ Us. In order to better serve you, our customer, we have a number of options for your selection.

• Press number one if you have delusions of Godhood.

• Press numbers two, three, and four to use our group rate if you have Multiple Personality Disorder.

• Press five over and over again if you are obsessive-compulsive, but only after cleaning off the phone first.

• If you are paranoid, you don’t have to press any numbers, because we already know where you are.
  

• If you have amnesia or memory problems, press numbers 9782541036. 

Remember, you must have all your identification records available. Licensed Providers are standing by to attend to all your mental health needs. Shrinks ‘R’ Us. Because we care about you.’
This quote is penned by dinkydow and is part of “Distinctively Jack” (Part 5 of the “Becoming The Fifth Race” Series). If you want to read it you should check out StargateFanAwards.com. I assure you its worth it *nods*.