Stockholm Syndrome
Apparently some of you appreciated the relative sanity with which I conducted my last post. Now I have to make sure that the zany posts are EXTRA ZANY so that the few breaths of fresh air are more meaningful for you. You love me because I abuse you. You'd be lost without my strong guidance. You really need to stop falling down the stairs. You're so clumsy!
Anyway so one of the myriad places (I used to hate when the word "myriad" was used like this--without being followed by an "of"--because I'd never heard it this way but now I've accomodated myself to it and have even grown to like it because apparently no one else on the planet uses the "of"? and in any event I'm generally in favor of removing syllables from sentences because I am lazy. For example, the word "orientated" drives me batty. I know, short trip, but sometimes backformation causes war crimes. I believe it was the cause of the Katyn Forest Massacre. Am I the only one who knows what that is? Probably) that I normally frequent during the day to keep myself from being bored and also doing the scads (SCADS) of work that liberally adorn my desk (I swear to God, you guys, I am so far behind it's miserable). Oh but hey it just came back up. Maybe. It might probably be finnicky today. Like Morris the Cat. In any event you guys are probably lucky I'm not an LJ spammer otherwise I'd be all "LOOK AT ME I'M BORED! COMMENT IN MY JOURNAL PLEASE!!" like a certain other person whose LJ I used to read purely for the Schadenfreude but who recently defriended me because I didn't give her enough love or something? Whatever. No loss. You guys would also be lucky I'm Church of England, except that I'm not.
Oh for the Love of GOD Mr. Cranky Attorney man. You wouldn't have this problem if you'd gotten your shit together last week when we'd originally dealt with this issue. LALALA.
So I walk into my office on Friday and there's a box in my inbox. Business cards! Which I have never asked for, have no need for, and was told I would never have. But now that I do have them, they are awesome! I'm giving them out to friends, which is totally exactly what you should do with business cards. I'm told. The problem being of course that they have my office number on them (since I'm only at my desk three times a week, and then for only like 15-18 hours a week) instead of my cell number, which I always have on me, even if I may not answer it because it is usually on vibrate and not on my person in such a position that I will notice it vibrating and then like a week later I'm like Oh, look! I have 19 new messages. Huh. I even missed one from work on Thursday. I haven't even listened to the message yet. Hahaha. Work suckers. Anyway. I have an absolute embarrassment of business cards, so next time you see me ask for one. Apparently the blade used to cut the cards had some kind of notch in it or someting, so the edges of the cards are scored along a diagonal. I've just spent several minutes arranging them so that the score lines up. Clearly all of the work I have to do today is onerous. ("Stick it in me!")
Also please pardon me while I briefly go into gloat mode. Those of you whose eyes haven't just glazed over should be warned that the following is about curling. There are probably only two of you left who can see, but this is actually serious and anyway your opinions on how lame curling is despite (or because of) knowing nothing about it shouldn't figure into this because it's one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me and I'd think that even those of you who think curling is retarded would like to hear about my small triumph.
WOW DEFENSIVE MUCH NICK?
Lalala. So this weekend there was a curling clinic at the club, put on by Georgina Wheatcroft and Julie Skinner. Those aren't names I suspect any of you recognize, but they are both two-time Canadian Champions, two-time World Champions, and Olympic bronze medalists. Those of you who watched any curling during the 2002 Winter Olympics, these two were the second and vice of the Canadian team. Their beinze medals are FUCKING HEAVY I tell you what, but totally awesome. I WANT ONE. Anyway. So these are totally people who know what they're doing. And we all learned a LOT this weekend. I thought I was a reasonably competent curler before this weekend (and I probably was), but I didn't realize how limited I was by poor form. So I've changed a lot of things about the way I'm delivering and learned some handy-dandy little skipping tricks and all kinds of useful information. (THIS PART OF INTEREST TO PRESENT AND FORMER PCC CURLERS ONLY: Beige Guy was in my group. This was irritating enough, but when we went out on the ice to do the skipping part of the weekend, he kept arguing with the instructors about the way they were calling line and angles. Dude, how many world championships do you have to your name? Then after they told him he was wrong about the amount of weight needed to raise a stone to center, he left the club in a huff. Just stormed right out. Ha! Good riddance; that's just more shots he'll get wrong in high-pressure situations. NOW BACK TO THE GENERAL INTEREST SECTION.) So at the end of this we play an end and then get pointers on what to do to keep improving. She tells me--and I wish I had a perfect memory, so I could recall exactly what she said--that I have what it takes to be an excellent curler. If I keep working on the fundamentals, keep practicing and working hard, I could really be a stellar curler. !!!!!! It's one thing to hear that from teammates, but to hear it from a world champion is something else altogether. So now I'm all motivated to seriously go out and kick some butt. WATCH OUT WORLD!!! I should get a coach! Somehow! In some way that doesn't involve moving to Wisconsin! Also I totally want new shoes. YAY CURLING
firing up Google
Those of you who dropped out long ago can come back now.
So anyway. That's what I did this weekend instead of doing, like schoolwork which I am now hopelessly behind in. I am going to fail all of my courses. I need to get some shite done today so I can, like, take Friday off entirely. This weekend is shaping up to be NOT pretty. Again.
I dunno I guess this was a pretty boring-ass update but there you go. I feel like I should say something more final than that but I don't know what. So, um. The End!
Anyway so one of the myriad places (I used to hate when the word "myriad" was used like this--without being followed by an "of"--because I'd never heard it this way but now I've accomodated myself to it and have even grown to like it because apparently no one else on the planet uses the "of"? and in any event I'm generally in favor of removing syllables from sentences because I am lazy. For example, the word "orientated" drives me batty. I know, short trip, but sometimes backformation causes war crimes. I believe it was the cause of the Katyn Forest Massacre. Am I the only one who knows what that is? Probably) that I normally frequent during the day to keep myself from being bored and also doing the scads (SCADS) of work that liberally adorn my desk (I swear to God, you guys, I am so far behind it's miserable). Oh but hey it just came back up. Maybe. It might probably be finnicky today. Like Morris the Cat. In any event you guys are probably lucky I'm not an LJ spammer otherwise I'd be all "LOOK AT ME I'M BORED! COMMENT IN MY JOURNAL PLEASE!!" like a certain other person whose LJ I used to read purely for the Schadenfreude but who recently defriended me because I didn't give her enough love or something? Whatever. No loss. You guys would also be lucky I'm Church of England, except that I'm not.
Oh for the Love of GOD Mr. Cranky Attorney man. You wouldn't have this problem if you'd gotten your shit together last week when we'd originally dealt with this issue. LALALA.
So I walk into my office on Friday and there's a box in my inbox. Business cards! Which I have never asked for, have no need for, and was told I would never have. But now that I do have them, they are awesome! I'm giving them out to friends, which is totally exactly what you should do with business cards. I'm told. The problem being of course that they have my office number on them (since I'm only at my desk three times a week, and then for only like 15-18 hours a week) instead of my cell number, which I always have on me, even if I may not answer it because it is usually on vibrate and not on my person in such a position that I will notice it vibrating and then like a week later I'm like Oh, look! I have 19 new messages. Huh. I even missed one from work on Thursday. I haven't even listened to the message yet. Hahaha. Work suckers. Anyway. I have an absolute embarrassment of business cards, so next time you see me ask for one. Apparently the blade used to cut the cards had some kind of notch in it or someting, so the edges of the cards are scored along a diagonal. I've just spent several minutes arranging them so that the score lines up. Clearly all of the work I have to do today is onerous. ("Stick it in me!")
Also please pardon me while I briefly go into gloat mode. Those of you whose eyes haven't just glazed over should be warned that the following is about curling. There are probably only two of you left who can see, but this is actually serious and anyway your opinions on how lame curling is despite (or because of) knowing nothing about it shouldn't figure into this because it's one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me and I'd think that even those of you who think curling is retarded would like to hear about my small triumph.
WOW DEFENSIVE MUCH NICK?
Lalala. So this weekend there was a curling clinic at the club, put on by Georgina Wheatcroft and Julie Skinner. Those aren't names I suspect any of you recognize, but they are both two-time Canadian Champions, two-time World Champions, and Olympic bronze medalists. Those of you who watched any curling during the 2002 Winter Olympics, these two were the second and vice of the Canadian team. Their beinze medals are FUCKING HEAVY I tell you what, but totally awesome. I WANT ONE. Anyway. So these are totally people who know what they're doing. And we all learned a LOT this weekend. I thought I was a reasonably competent curler before this weekend (and I probably was), but I didn't realize how limited I was by poor form. So I've changed a lot of things about the way I'm delivering and learned some handy-dandy little skipping tricks and all kinds of useful information. (THIS PART OF INTEREST TO PRESENT AND FORMER PCC CURLERS ONLY: Beige Guy was in my group. This was irritating enough, but when we went out on the ice to do the skipping part of the weekend, he kept arguing with the instructors about the way they were calling line and angles. Dude, how many world championships do you have to your name? Then after they told him he was wrong about the amount of weight needed to raise a stone to center, he left the club in a huff. Just stormed right out. Ha! Good riddance; that's just more shots he'll get wrong in high-pressure situations. NOW BACK TO THE GENERAL INTEREST SECTION.) So at the end of this we play an end and then get pointers on what to do to keep improving. She tells me--and I wish I had a perfect memory, so I could recall exactly what she said--that I have what it takes to be an excellent curler. If I keep working on the fundamentals, keep practicing and working hard, I could really be a stellar curler. !!!!!! It's one thing to hear that from teammates, but to hear it from a world champion is something else altogether. So now I'm all motivated to seriously go out and kick some butt. WATCH OUT WORLD!!! I should get a coach! Somehow! In some way that doesn't involve moving to Wisconsin! Also I totally want new shoes. YAY CURLING
firing up Google
Those of you who dropped out long ago can come back now.
So anyway. That's what I did this weekend instead of doing, like schoolwork which I am now hopelessly behind in. I am going to fail all of my courses. I need to get some shite done today so I can, like, take Friday off entirely. This weekend is shaping up to be NOT pretty. Again.
I dunno I guess this was a pretty boring-ass update but there you go. I feel like I should say something more final than that but I don't know what. So, um. The End!