Roommate Relating
I am a queer dude who is friends with my roommate who is also a queer dude and we've lived together for a year and a half. I'd say we're good friends - when his family learned that I'd been disowned, his grandparents basically tried to adopt me. We share household chores, etc. fairly well and get along for the most part, some personal boundaries notwithstanding.
I recently started dating semi-seriously - or more accurately, found someone I'm more interested in. We'll call him Jay. My roommate has reacted fairly juvenilely to this. Previously I've casually dated, but never brought anyone home, and he hasn't cared. I brought this guy home on a weekend when my roommate was away and I recently made plans to spend a Saturday cooking, watching movies, and generally canoodling (the canoodling happening in my room, not common areas), and my roommate has not reacted well.
First, he demanded that I explain what he was supposed to do while Jay and I cook. When I told him that I don't really particularly care, he asked what he was supposed to do while we do whatever afterward. When I (fairly snidely, I admit) suggested earplugs if he was going to stick around, he came up with an elaborate plan to blast terrible music at us. (I vetoed that and said that if he feels that way, he should find plans with friends or visit his mother.)
I think he's far more attached to me than I am to him. Some mutual friends call us roommate married and that's fair, but this is one of the "personal boundaries notwithstanding" points. I am going to date and he can't have a problem with that - I'm not dating him for a reason. (Him wanting to sleep with me has come up in the past. Last time it came up, I told him that if he asked again, I was going to move out and leave him with a hanging lease. Per his original proposal, he doesn't want to date me but thinks having sex would be "educational.") I don't know if this is another manifestation of "I want to sleep with you" or not. He's definitely brought mostly-ladies home and I've just put earbuds in, so I don't see what the big deal is.
I recently started dating semi-seriously - or more accurately, found someone I'm more interested in. We'll call him Jay. My roommate has reacted fairly juvenilely to this. Previously I've casually dated, but never brought anyone home, and he hasn't cared. I brought this guy home on a weekend when my roommate was away and I recently made plans to spend a Saturday cooking, watching movies, and generally canoodling (the canoodling happening in my room, not common areas), and my roommate has not reacted well.
First, he demanded that I explain what he was supposed to do while Jay and I cook. When I told him that I don't really particularly care, he asked what he was supposed to do while we do whatever afterward. When I (fairly snidely, I admit) suggested earplugs if he was going to stick around, he came up with an elaborate plan to blast terrible music at us. (I vetoed that and said that if he feels that way, he should find plans with friends or visit his mother.)
I think he's far more attached to me than I am to him. Some mutual friends call us roommate married and that's fair, but this is one of the "personal boundaries notwithstanding" points. I am going to date and he can't have a problem with that - I'm not dating him for a reason. (Him wanting to sleep with me has come up in the past. Last time it came up, I told him that if he asked again, I was going to move out and leave him with a hanging lease. Per his original proposal, he doesn't want to date me but thinks having sex would be "educational.") I don't know if this is another manifestation of "I want to sleep with you" or not. He's definitely brought mostly-ladies home and I've just put earbuds in, so I don't see what the big deal is.