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I'm 27 years old and single. I've had five boyfriends in the past. Four of those only lasted three months or less. The first boyfriend I ever had admitted to me that he's 90% sure he's gay and was using me to try and find out for sure. That really hurt. The second one said I wasn't intelligent enough for him and told me he wanted deep, intelectual
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It's great that you want to be married and have kids. But that is one hell of a long ways away. What do you want in a single date? Do you want someone who is funny, who is intelligent and will have intellectually stimulating conversations with you, do you want someone who is affectionate, or who is adventurous, or weird? what are you looking for in a person who you want to date for 6 months? any or all of those things still apply? what else? is he reliable, is he a homebody or someone who likes to go out frequently, do you want someone who likes nice things (and possibly lives paycheck to paycheck) do you want someone who is thrifty? do you want someone with a high sex drive? These are all things you need to sort out for yourself before you even get to the marriage and kids bit, though those have to match up too. For what it's worth, I got a whiff of desperation in your post, like you don't care who dates you as long as you are in a "happy" relationship like "everyone else". People can sense desperation and it does freak them out - maybe that's what people were sensing while you were "dating around". Or maybe you weren't the type of people you went on dates with. Really it doesn't matter as it's in the past and if we keep staring at the past we'll miss the awesome things that are coming for us in the future.
As for everyone else, you're seeing the relationship from the outside, whatever that couple wants to show to the world through social media. Trust me when I say it's not the same behind closed doors because nobody is perfect therefore nobody has a perfect relationship. There are fights, there are issues with different sex drives, different styles of showing love that are incompatible (look up love languages, it might be an idea to figure out yours while you're doing all of this), there are troubles with money, what to feed people, someone snoring/not getting enough sleep etc. Firstly, over half of those marriages will fail, and now they are older and have children which makes dating doubly hard. Also, relationships take work, not backbreaking work like you've experienced, but work.
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Secondly, invest in yourself and your happiness. So what that you're living with your parents, a lot of people are. You're saving money for the future, not putting yourself in debt in order to follow someone else's idea of what you are supposed to be doing. So what that you're single, thousands of people are along with you (otherwise there'd be nobody to date), and you're going to be so busy with awesome things and awesome friends that you don't even have time for a boyfriend. I know the inner dialogue that goes along with feeling like you've got less than someone but you have to keep telling yourself that you're awesome. So stand in front of the mirror every day and find something that you like. I don't care if it's your eyes or your left wrist or your sense of humour, but say it out loud every day, and no repeats. It's going to feel super weird at first, but like every habit it takes time to form. Trust me when I say this one will be good for life in general.
In the meantime, get busy. Find a physical activity that you've never done but are kinda interested in. I like to recommend belly dancing as it's something that requires less coordination than something like ballet, but still works up a sweat and you'll move in ways you never thought possible, but it doesn't matter if it's rock climbing, weight lifting, parasailing, skating, whatever, just find something. The physical aspect stimulates endorphins which are happy making, and you'll sleep better as learning a new thing is exhausting. Also, go out with friends. A lot. It doesn't have to cost money, go to a park, or walk around a mall, just hang out with people and get to know them. You can have "Nice to Meet You" parties, where every guest brings a person from a different social circle, but the point of these parties is to make new friends. Because those friends have friends, and THOSE friends have friends. The more people you know, the more likely someone will know someone else who may be a good fit with you (once they get to know you, this takes time).
So this is hella long, but I hope you were able to read through it. It's a lot to think about, and a lot to process, but in the end it'll be worth it. I wish you well in the future, you have a long life ahead of you and I promise there will be some excellent times.
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