Spectator of an Abusive Relationship.
-sigh- I haven't a freaking clue of what to do, so I was hoping you guys could help me out.
So a year ago, my two 18 (now 19) year old friends got engaged. The three of us are currently at the end of our senior years. The girl in this relationship, let's call her A, has been my best friend for the past five years. There ain't a lot I wouldn't do for her. She's a bright, charming person with her whole life ahead of her.
Now, let's talk about the boy, J. This boy is abusive and childish, not to mention that he is the most jealous person I've ever encountered in my 18 years of living. Over the summer of 2007, he moved in with her and her parents. Since then, it has been living hell. All they ever do is argue. She gives him complete control of her life, COMPLETE CONTROL. For the past few weeks, I have been avoiding hanging around with them because I simply can't stand it. If he's getting off work, he calls her on the way home to make sure she's there. If she walks away from him for more than five seconds, he'll call her and ask where she is. God forbid we even mention going somewhere together, because he'll want to tag along with. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this, it's just his ATTITUDE that makes me want to punch him in the face. He can have the angriest, most sarcastic tone with her, and if she acts "rude" in his opinion, he'll look at her and say "Where the hell is the attitude coming from, huh?!" If HE does something wrong, SHE will apologize to him to ensure he comes home that night. He has, on more than one occasion, mentioned leaving and never coming back. He has raised his hand at her more times than I can possibly count. I'm fairly sure he has hit her once or twice.
And I stand on the sidelines and don't say a word. Why? Because then what chance will I have to talk some sense into her? If I say anything, he will surely "forbid" her from seeing me, and she will comply, because she'd rather be miserable than be "alone". She believes she needs a man in her life for her life to be complete. More than once I have spoken to her about his abusive nature, and she stands by her saying of "Every man has a little bit of dominance in him. J just has a little more than most." Her own parents have expressed deep dislike for him, but they won't do anything. They won't kick him out, because her father is waiting for the moment they move out. J is just like her father in every way, shape, and form.
Look, I'm not asking how to get her out of this, because that might not be attainable. What I am asking is: How do I stop my best friend from being yet another statistic of domestic violence and even death?
So a year ago, my two 18 (now 19) year old friends got engaged. The three of us are currently at the end of our senior years. The girl in this relationship, let's call her A, has been my best friend for the past five years. There ain't a lot I wouldn't do for her. She's a bright, charming person with her whole life ahead of her.
Now, let's talk about the boy, J. This boy is abusive and childish, not to mention that he is the most jealous person I've ever encountered in my 18 years of living. Over the summer of 2007, he moved in with her and her parents. Since then, it has been living hell. All they ever do is argue. She gives him complete control of her life, COMPLETE CONTROL. For the past few weeks, I have been avoiding hanging around with them because I simply can't stand it. If he's getting off work, he calls her on the way home to make sure she's there. If she walks away from him for more than five seconds, he'll call her and ask where she is. God forbid we even mention going somewhere together, because he'll want to tag along with. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this, it's just his ATTITUDE that makes me want to punch him in the face. He can have the angriest, most sarcastic tone with her, and if she acts "rude" in his opinion, he'll look at her and say "Where the hell is the attitude coming from, huh?!" If HE does something wrong, SHE will apologize to him to ensure he comes home that night. He has, on more than one occasion, mentioned leaving and never coming back. He has raised his hand at her more times than I can possibly count. I'm fairly sure he has hit her once or twice.
And I stand on the sidelines and don't say a word. Why? Because then what chance will I have to talk some sense into her? If I say anything, he will surely "forbid" her from seeing me, and she will comply, because she'd rather be miserable than be "alone". She believes she needs a man in her life for her life to be complete. More than once I have spoken to her about his abusive nature, and she stands by her saying of "Every man has a little bit of dominance in him. J just has a little more than most." Her own parents have expressed deep dislike for him, but they won't do anything. They won't kick him out, because her father is waiting for the moment they move out. J is just like her father in every way, shape, and form.
Look, I'm not asking how to get her out of this, because that might not be attainable. What I am asking is: How do I stop my best friend from being yet another statistic of domestic violence and even death?