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(o16)(video/action) ♐ no more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone

Nov 15, 2011 16:52

Angel's gone. For good gone. I've been -- [ She clears her throat and briefly drops her chin to look down and away, then fixes her gaze back on the datapad. ] I spent some time camped by the bacta tanks. When he didn't show after a week ... I checked out his place. It's empty. Like, way empty. Emptier than Angel keeps his place empty ( Read more... )

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not here but here and then action ] the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 00:18:46 UTC

[ Xander sits in his room, catching all of the feed. He's heard the broadcast, done a little research. He needs to check in with the Alliance. He's been lax in his rebelling but he feels like he has a great excuse. A heart-breaking, really difficult to -- put into words -- excuse. And so he sits, and listens and doesn't come into frame and doesn't turn on the function where she can see him looking ( ... )

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 04:25:20 UTC

[ When the door opens, Buffy tenses. He took long enough that the Spike thread somehow warped in time and already happened, I guess. She's looking ... Well, she's looked better. She exchanges a hurried, wide-eyed look with him that is clearly surprised by his appearance, and then skittishly looks away. She's not sure she can handle another "sorry" right now. ]

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 04:29:30 UTC

[ He brings the milk up to his lips before looking up. He sets the carton down, grabs a plastic cup and pours himself a cup. He looks up again, back down, and grabs a second, filling it. Maybe it's -- a peace offering, a silent gesture that says, they'll get through this, or at least that he wants to. He brings one of the cups to Buffy and sets it down before sitting on the arm of the nearby chair and taking a sip. Nothing needs to be said and he wouldn't know what to say if he did. ]

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 04:38:37 UTC

[ She looks down at the cup, then watches him sit down. Slowly, she takes it in both hands and takes a drink. Well, as olive branches go, it could be worse. It would be really nice if all this tenseness could evaporate. ]

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 05:31:11 UTC

[ He half-smiles, taking a sip. ] I ... worry.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 05:33:05 UTC

Well, as a general rule, I like to think that's a hobby most humans have in common. [ Surely snark will make this easier. ]

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 05:36:33 UTC

Yep. Universal worrying cliche party. I could throw one. But -- I just -- I worry about you. And the -- slayering. The slaying and the separating slaying from us. When, back home -- no. No. I'm not using the future in my argument. If you just tried it, you could see we're assets. Slaying assets.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 05:38:46 UTC

Xander, I know that. [ She sighs and sets the milk down, then goes to sit on the couch near where he's sitting, resting her hands on her knees and leaning in. ] And, you know that I do. You and Willow have been right there by me through so much. You've always been my strength. I know you can handle this.

But, this was different. You know it was different.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 05:41:49 UTC

But, I -- don't think I do. I mean, I get - I get that it was all with the being personal and it was vendetta and horrible and painful but you coulda -- I don't know. But, it's over now.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 05:45:12 UTC

It wasn't a vendetta. Don't -- [ She sighs. ] See, this is exactly -- [ She gets to her feet and paces a little. ]

You all keep -- keep making these assumptions. About what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. Or what this was. Whatever's most ... convenient, to make it look like I was just out to hurt you. Or -- Or exclude you.

Well, killing Angel isn't -- Will never be a group effort. It will never be a Scooby bonding mission. I will take you out to hunt all the darkspawn, all the vampires, all the gods that you can stand, but I will never-- [ She stops and sucks in a breath, facing away from him. ] It's Angel.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 19:46:41 UTC

[ He thinks about standing, about meeting her face to face but he listens. He waits for her to get it all out. ]

Buffy, this isn't about inclusion or exclusion or any clusions. It's about --

[ What is it about, anyway? Losing Buffy? The possibility that she wouldn't make it back? ]

It was about -- a lack of facts. Angel's gone, he went dark - but, we didn't -- know anything ... real.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 20:18:53 UTC

How can you say that? [ Her tone is a little warning, pushing out of exasperated and into offended, rising a little. ] You had me. Willing to kill him. You could have trusted me. Trusted that I would never go there before I had to. Before I knew.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 20:37:36 UTC

But, we didn't. I didn't. Know. The knowing thing didn't happen. You just -- called us all together and told us. But, there wasn't much --- behind it. It was, Angel's working for the big bad, hasn't lost his soul, but I have to dispatch the ex.

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 20:46:33 UTC

Did I lose you somewhere around the definition of the word "trust"?

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts perspectiveguy November 16 2011, 20:48:12 UTC

I trust you, Buffy.

[ Now, he had to stand. ]

I trust you with my life. I've never not trusted you but when it comes to Angel you're --

action ][ the anger swells in my guts; I won't feel these slices and cuts slayerisms November 16 2011, 20:50:08 UTC

I'm what? The last person on this planet who'd ever want to kill him? You know how I feel about him. You know what he means to me, do you really think I would have come to any of you until I was sure? That I would jump on the "hey, let's kill Angel" train without being positive of what he was? [ She shakes her head, slamming her cup down on the table. ]

I can't do this. If that's really what you think, I can't -- [ She shakes her head. ]

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