VM fic: Going down (Veronica, Ensemble) PG13, Part 6/6
Finally, it's done!
Title: Going down (Veronica, Ensemble, PG 13), Part 6 of 6
Author: Kaze
Characters: Ensemble, Veronica POV
Word Count: 3,913
Spoilers: Season 1
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: None (in this chapter)
Summary: Seven years after graduation, Veronica thinks she escaped her P.I. past, but when a friend needs her help, she goes back into investigation mode.
Disclaimer: VM and its characters belong to Rob Thomas.
A/N: First, many thanks to fickledame and blue_icy_rose for their beta work. This would be a lot less fun without them.
So, this is the end. I wanted to see this done so bad, but now I kind of feel sad that it's over...
Previously: Veronica has to babysit her godson, Dick Casablancas Jr, son of her good friend Cindy, when the latter is abducted after a late night meeting at work. Logan offers to look after Dickie-boy but leaves Veronica to it, which results in a fight that remains unresolved.
Chapters 1-5 in my memories
It was time for a plan. Cassidy Casablancas had abducted his sister in law, whom he was creepily in love with. And he had hired some muscle to keep her in place and kidnap her son, too. At least, that’s what I had figured in the two minutes since the motel room door had closed. Bow before my sleuthing talents!
Well, in fact, I didn’t need a plan. I knew the plan. The only plan that made sense was to call Detective Miller and have him storm the building. Funny thing though, my hands simply wouldn’t dial his number. There wasn’t really a reason for that. Miller was a good cop, competent and reliable. And it’s not like I’m known for my supreme strength or invulnerability that makes me predestined to storm dingy motels that currently host a hostage situation.
But the mere thought of this fucking little creep having Cindy holed up in this rat hole, not even a mile away from my apartment, while my life fell apart because of that situation, just made me so mad I couldn’t see straight. I can guess what I looked like as I stared at the motel door with my best wall-penetrating evil glare. Jaw muscle ticking, hands clenched around the steering wheel, no wonder Dickie hadn’t dared to say a word to me in what must be a new record time for him.
Well, there was no arguing the fact. I simply couldn’t wait another second, knowing that Cindy was in that room, that her creepy brother in law, who was in love with her, and a shady guy were with her. God knows what Cassidy would do to her during the time it would take Miller and a SWAT team to arrive. Also, I had to dish out some pain. Big time.
I dialed Miller’s number and informed him about Cindy’s whereabouts. He insisted, quite convincingly, that I should stay far far away from the motel and let him handle the situation. I gave my consent, quite convincingly as well, hung up and told Dickie to stay in the car, no matter what.
I packed up my taser, my pepper spray and for good measure the tire iron out of my trunk and set on my crusade to free Cindy and beat up Beaver for destroying my life with this stupid gig.
I silently approached the door of Beaver’s room and pressed my ear against the splintered wood, while trying my luck with the lock and two bobby pins. I heard Beaver’s enraged voice, berating the kidnapper about his failure in capturing Dickie. Oh, he’s so going to suffer.
I lifted the tire iron and carefully leaned over towards the doorknob, trying it ever so lightly. Not locked. Bingo. The argument going on inside would hopefully distract Beaver and his hired muscle long enough for me to stage a surprise attack. So I ripped open the door and did the one thing my dad had always taught me not to do. I barged into a room full of criminals.
Everything happened very fast then. Beaver looked dumbfounded, but he wasn’t the threat anyway. The kidnapper reacted much faster and reached into his pocket, presumably for a weapon. I smashed his wrist with the tire iron and he howled, falling to the floor, cradling his hurt hand. Beaver finally woke up and approached me, only to get a face full of pepper spray. Cindy shrieked, a sound I wasn’t aware she was capable of, and I tasered the men on the floor a couple of times for good measure (and my own satisfaction).
Suddenly, my hand was yanked away from them and the taser fell to the floor due to the vice grip on my wrist. I turned, pepper spray ready, and froze.
What the hell?
****************************************************************
I scowled at my wrist, rubbing at the angry red marks, only making them redder. How the hell does a Software firm CEO get such strength? Cindy almost casually pointed the gun at the kidnapper, who I had learned by now was named Gus, and wouldn’t stop ranting about psycho blondes who should be stopped from ever touching tire irons again. Permanently. Luckily, he respected his own gun enough to not test Cindy’s aim.
Beaver held an icepack at his ribcage, where I had tasered him, while trying to convince Gus that he was the one paying and he would decide whether or not I left this room breathing.
“Right now,” Cindy said, “I’m the one with the gun, so I make the decisions.”
“Well, then enlighten me,” I barked out. “Why exactly are we still in this room with my hand hurting like a bitch and not getting away from your kidnappers?”
Cindy’s eyes softened when she looked at me.
“I didn’t mean for things to get this far, Veronica, to drag you into this mess. But I can’t go back,” she looked at me pleadingly as if that would make me forget the hell I’ve been through, the things I’d lost, because of this ‘case’. My thoughts strayed to the little boy in my car outside and suddenly, I wasn’t so eager to organize a mother and son reunion.
“You staged this,” I accused Cindy, barely controlling my anger. “You were never kidnapped, you wanted to get away!”
“Oh please, Veronica,” Cindy snarled, all softness gone from her expression. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to get as far away from Dick Casablancas as possible.”
She spat out the name like an insult and suddenly, the puzzle pieces started to fall into place. But I had to hear from Cindy herself, I needed her to confess because a part of me couldn’t imagine that I had been so blind about her.
“Why don’t you just divorce him then?” I asked, lifting my chin stubbornly, challenging.
Cindy, no - Mac, the girl I knew since high school, laughed bitterly. “I’m not quite ready to throw away my company just yet. I’ve worked too hard to come this far to see everything taken away from me by a perpetually stoned halfwit.” Cassidy cringed, but Cindy didn’t notice.
“Last time I checked, your company was yours,” I said sarcastically, refusing to feel anything close to sympathy for Mac.
“Oh, really? Well then, you must have different sources than I do. Because the company, my work, everything I built there, belongs to Dick. I was desperate back then for a startup loan. But I had a record, I was once caught hacking into the police department to erase a ticket.” She laughed again, but I could see tears welling up in her eyes. “A fucking $20 ticket and I had shot all my chances for getting a loan from a respectable bank. When you introduced me to Dick, he was my only chance to make my dreams come true.
“At first, it was just a business arrangement and I was willing to sign everything for that chance to finally make it out of this suburban hell I had grown up in. I didn’t really think about the consequences of Dick being the silent owner and me the CEO, after all, he had provided all the money. When I asked to pay him back his loan and buy him out of my company, he refused to accept my money.
Instead, he asked me to marry him, so everything that ‘belonged to him would automatically belong to me’. Hah!” Cindy wiped her eyes furiously, while I felt the bile starting to rise in my throat. What the hell had I gotten myself into here?
“So, I did it,” Cindy continued. “I agreed to marry him so I could at least keep up the pretense that I was in charge at the company. In return, Dick made me sign a prenup. If I divorce him, the company is his.”
“Well, from what you just told me, the company in fact does belong to him,” I said.
“But I DESERVE it!” Cindy yelled at me, jumping up from her chair. She waved the gun around agitatedly and my stomach dropped to new depths.
“I was SUPPOSED to be rich! I was supposed to have everything I ever wanted and not tutor stupid rich kids to stock up my allowance money. But no, Madison Sinclair has to come and take my spot away from me,” Cindy spat and for the first time I got a glimpse at the well of hatred and frustration that had built in her for more than eight years.
So, what’s the plan? Ask him nicely to let you run away with his little brother and throw in the company for good measure?” I asked. Cindy’s lips thinned.
“We prepared a ransom demand. A public demand. He will be forced to pay even if he doesn’t want me back. It’s all about PR. Of course, he doesn’t have enough money, with all his whoring around and giving little presents to his numerous mistresses. He will be forced to sell most of his shares. And who better to buy them off than his own brother? At least this way, it stays in the family.”
I shook my head in disbelief. All this had played right under my nose and I had been so ignorant! Where was the intrepid girl detective that couldn’t be fooled by facades? Cindy noticed my expression and looked at me in a way I couldn’t interpret.
“Do you know what he called me after we married? Cinderella. It was his nickname for me. The poor ashtray girl that finally found her prince. As if I should be thankful that he was making hundreds of thousands of dollars with my developments. I’m done being Cinderella, V.”
I nodded as if in acceptance, but there was still one more thing bugging me.
“Why kidnap Dickie then? Unless, of course, you don’t plan on returning after Dick follows your ransom demand.”
“Oh, I don’t,” Cindy said, and with a start I realized the danger I was actually in, being the only one standing between Cindy and her freedom. “I plan to live off my achievements in a faraway country.”
“What about Dick? He’s the boy’s father after all,” I bit out, mostly because I had nothing else to say, not out of sympathy for Dick, who was just as sleazy as his wife.
“Oh, come on, Veronica, Dickie is a smart little boy. You don’t believe he got that from Dick, right?”
“But he looks exactly like Dick,” I exclaimed, trying to wrap my mind around what Cindy was saying.
“Actually,” Beaver chimed in, “he looks exactly like his grandmother.”
Oh God. I couldn’t help but picture Dickie’s reaction to the revelation that his creepy uncle Beaver, who had rabies, was in fact his father. Only when I lifted my good hand to cover my face did I notice that it was shaking. Everything I had learned in this motel room just left one conclusion, and no matter how hateful Cindy had become over years of not having what - in her opinion - was rightfully hers, I couldn’t believe that she would do that to me her friend.
“So, what was the plan?” I asked her. “Were you gonna let me in on the fake kidnapping before or after you snatched your son from under my nose?”
Cindy actually had the grace to look a bit ashamed. “No, the plan didn’t include on telling you.”
I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore to find that knife in my back.
“So what? I was supposed to freak out because Dickie had been taken when he was in my care? Blame myself for the rest of my life while you were living it up in some millionaire’s resort? What did you think I’d do, Mac?” I noticed with satisfaction how she cringed when I used her old nickname, reminding her that she used to be that: a Mackenzie.
“It’s not like you care so much for my son, Veronica, so don’t play this righteous card on me now. You would have dismissed this tragedy like you have every other in your life and moved on with ease.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. How the hell did she get that impression? Everything that had ever happened to me weighed me down every fucking day of my life. I wished I could go back to the girl I used to be, I wished…. Oh God.
“That’s… that’s why Logan left me,” I whispered. Cindy took a deep breath summoning up all the faux concern she could muster.
“I’m sorry, V. I really am. But you can’t blame me for that. You had this coming a long time. Now… I just need to know what you’re gonna do.”
I sighed and looked at my hands. Then, I faced the two men in the room.
“Could you leave us alone for a moment?” I asked. Both seemed reluctant to leave me with Cindy and I rolled my eyes. “Come on, she has a gun and I’m not exactly known as fighter bunny. I assume she is quite safe from me. You can go outside and pick up Dickie, he’s waiting in my car.” After a nod from Cindy they got up and left the room, Gus casting one last hateful glare at me.
“So, what’s it gonna be?” Cindy asked, impatiently.
“Well…,” I said, dragging the word long for effect. “Right now, I assume Detective Miller, who was waiting outside for the last ten minutes, is shackling up your backup. So, I guess you’d better think quickly and decide what you are gonna do now.”
Cindy blanched and gaped at me. I kept my face carefully blank, hoping that Miller had in fact brought Dickie to safety and overpowered the two kidnappers. But I was confident. I watched as Cindy’s mind worked overtime when she realized that her plan was shot to hell. Slowly, she got up and methodically wiped her prints off the gun with the bed cloth. She went to the bathroom and splashed some water in her face, then gathered her belongings and slowly walked towards the door.
The afternoon sun stood low and bathed her in an orange glow as she stood in the doorway and looked at me.
“Coming?” she asked. I took a deep breath and moved to catch up with her. We left the room together only to be gathered by cops, dragging us away from the door.
“It’s okay, let them go!” I heard Miller bark and we were released. The detective strode towards us, his face red with anger.
“Didn’t I explicitly tell you not to go into that room?” he asked and I merely shrugged. I saw as Cassidy and Gus, until now shackled and thrown on the floor, were hauled up and shoved towards a cop car.
“Thank you, thank you so much. You can’t imagine how scared I was.” I heard a teary voice and saw Cindy, crying and distressed, talking to a paramedic. Cassidy stared at her before the car door was slammed shut, hurt evident on his face. But Cindy was ignorant.
“Mommy!” A voice squealed and I watched as a blond ball of energy jumped towards Cindy and tackled her. I couldn’t watch the heart-warming scene of the reunion of mother and son. I felt I might puke otherwise.
“I knew you’d save her.” I looked down to see Dickie standing in front of me, having dragged Cindy along with him. She wouldn’t meet my eyes, out of shame or anger, I wasn’t sure.
“I promised you I would,” I answered and watched as the two were led away to an emergency van, probably so that Cindy could be checked out.
“Can I leave now?” I asked Miller when I saw him approaching. He frowned
“We still need your statement.”
“I’ll be in first thing tomorrow, promise. Right now, I just want to get home, take a shower and sleep for at least ten hours,” I said, giving him my best puppy dog impression.
He nodded, albeit reluctantly and I used the chance to take off as fast as possible before he could change his mind.
Inside my car, I picked up my laptop and checked the recording of the bug I was wearing. I rewinded for a few moments and pressed play.
”I was SUPPOSED to be rich! I was supposed to have everything I ever wanted and not tutor stupid rich kids to stock up my allowance money.” Cindy’s voice cackled out of the speakers. I shut it off and closed my eyes.
Dickie’s face appeared before my inner mind, full of joy at seeing his beloved mommy again. I opened my eyes again, took a deep breath and pressed delete. I didn’t intend to ignore my surroundings anymore, but I wasn’t going to go back to my ‘take no prisoners’ attitude. After all, I had changed. And I finally knew what I had changed into.
*************************************************************************
I leaned my forehead against my apartment door and let myself fall forward as it swung open when I unlocked it. I was weary, physically and mentally, disillusioned, friendless and alone. But I felt strangely peaceful for the first time since I had seen my best friend’s dead body.
“Veronica?” a voice asked and I was jolted out of my semi-trance. Logan appeared in the living room door, a worried expression on his face. “Are you okay?”
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to wrap my mind around this new development after a day full of mind blowing revelations, most of which were about myself.
“Dick called. The detective had informed him about the failed kidnapping attempt this morning and he told me that you’d been in a fight to save Dickie. I came as soon as I could. I tried to call, but you didn’t pick up.” Oh, yeah, I had turned off my cell to prevent interference with the bug.
“Are you okay? “ Logan asked again, and touched my arm lightly. I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.
“I will be,” I said, wiping tears of mirth from my eyes. Logan looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Maybe I had.
“I found Cindy,” I said and his eyebrows shot up. He obviously hadn’t thought me capable of that anymore. Well, join the club. “She’s a bitch.”
Logan looked positively rattled now, but I decided to keep explanations for later. Right now, we had other matters to discuss.
“I never really got over Lilly’s death, you know?” I continued conversationally. Logan could only gape at me. We never talked about Lilly. “Or, rather, I never got over everything it cost me. I felt like I was being abandoned by everyone, which was mostly the case. The investigation was all I had. I told myself that things would go back to normal as soon as Lilly’s killer was behind bars.”
“You can’t turn back time, Veronica,” Logan said, not looking at me.
“I know that. It’s just… I didn’t just lose Lilly, or my mom, or my innocence back then. I also lost myself. Everything I’d believed in was turned upside down and I was tumbling through life with nothing to hold onto. I needed that idea, that chance that I would eventually be able to piece my life back together. But then, I almost died.”
Logan flinched at the thought of me in that fridge, but he kept listening, for once.
“I almost died for a girl I hadn’t known at all, a girl who kept secrets from me, from you and who was so selfish that it eventually got her killed. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Lilly and a part of me always will, but she wasn’t a victim and I almost lost my life because she was like that. And I lost my place in life all over again. I just couldn’t go on like that anymore. The people you love let you down, so I wasn’t gonna let anyone get close again.”
Logan’s eyes softened and I knew that he understood, had probably understood for years now without saying anything.
“I pushed everyone away, my dad, Wallace… you. I just couldn’t risk to be that vulnerable again.”
“What changed?” Logan asked silently.
“Cindy betrayed me, and it hurt like hell.” I laughed again, albeit somewhat bitterly. “All the pushing away had been of no use, I’m still as vulnerable as I ever was. For nine years, I’ve been unhappy, miserable and alone. And it got me nothing at all.”
“So this is why you couldn’t be home three days in a row,” Logan said, staring into my eyes as if he was searching for something. “I thought you were running from me.”
“I was just trying to prevent myself from starting to depend on you,” I answered, looking at the floor. Suddenly, I felt his fingers on my chin, lifting my face up so I met his eyes.
“Is that why you wanted to knock me up so badly?” I asked, not being able to keep back the question that I could never find an answer to. Logan shrugged.
“Sounded like a good idea at that time. Bind you down to keep you at home for a while. Bind you to me,” he said, somewhat sheepishly.
“That’s a pretty stupid idea,” I said, right before my lips met his.
************************************************************************
Two months after Cindy’s daring rescue, I’m still struggling to figure out what is actually me and what is the fake front I put up to keep people away. But I’m getting there. I visited my father for a couple of days and I even called Wallace.
It’s still strange at times, but I haven’t felt that free in a long time and that’s exhilarating.
Logan and I still fight, a lot actually. But now it’s all fire and spite, not frustration. And the make-up sex is so worth it. We never talked about the children issue again. I guess he’s glad too that he found another way to keep me.
Cindy and I put pretty much a stop to our friendship. She returned to Dick and they still keep up their illusion of the perfect marriage. I couldn’t go on ignoring what I knew and participate in their game, so, I’m staying away from them. Logan’s still at Dick’s side, though, and sometimes he brings our godson over and we spend the day together. That’s about all the mushy family time I can stomach, but it’s good to see that Dickie is happy and blissfully ignorant of his parents’ true characters. Yet.
The cynical part of me can picture the next years and how things will change in Casa Casablancas, but this is Dickie’s journey and it’s not my place to take this away from him. He wouldn’t forgive me anyway.
So, I’m taking a similar journey, day to day, without much of a clue where it will take me. Logan once asked whether I now knew who I was. I grinned and told him I was a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and… a queen. He laughed and said that that’s life. I guess he was on to something there.
In the end, I think it was worth it. I spent so much time and energy trying to find Cindy, stumbling over potholes and secrets and lies, but in the end, I only found myself.
A/N2: I changed a lot from my original plan in order to finish the story faster. So maybe Veronica's epiphany is a bit rushed. Still, the actual ending remained the same (that last line was actually the beginning of the fic). Those of you who read more of my stories might know that I prefer hopeful over happy endings, and this is what I was also aiming at with 'Going down'. After all, life's a bitch until you die.
Title: Going down (Veronica, Ensemble, PG 13), Part 6 of 6
Author: Kaze
Characters: Ensemble, Veronica POV
Word Count: 3,913
Spoilers: Season 1
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: None (in this chapter)
Summary: Seven years after graduation, Veronica thinks she escaped her P.I. past, but when a friend needs her help, she goes back into investigation mode.
Disclaimer: VM and its characters belong to Rob Thomas.
A/N: First, many thanks to fickledame and blue_icy_rose for their beta work. This would be a lot less fun without them.
So, this is the end. I wanted to see this done so bad, but now I kind of feel sad that it's over...
Previously: Veronica has to babysit her godson, Dick Casablancas Jr, son of her good friend Cindy, when the latter is abducted after a late night meeting at work. Logan offers to look after Dickie-boy but leaves Veronica to it, which results in a fight that remains unresolved.
Chapters 1-5 in my memories
It was time for a plan. Cassidy Casablancas had abducted his sister in law, whom he was creepily in love with. And he had hired some muscle to keep her in place and kidnap her son, too. At least, that’s what I had figured in the two minutes since the motel room door had closed. Bow before my sleuthing talents!
Well, in fact, I didn’t need a plan. I knew the plan. The only plan that made sense was to call Detective Miller and have him storm the building. Funny thing though, my hands simply wouldn’t dial his number. There wasn’t really a reason for that. Miller was a good cop, competent and reliable. And it’s not like I’m known for my supreme strength or invulnerability that makes me predestined to storm dingy motels that currently host a hostage situation.
But the mere thought of this fucking little creep having Cindy holed up in this rat hole, not even a mile away from my apartment, while my life fell apart because of that situation, just made me so mad I couldn’t see straight. I can guess what I looked like as I stared at the motel door with my best wall-penetrating evil glare. Jaw muscle ticking, hands clenched around the steering wheel, no wonder Dickie hadn’t dared to say a word to me in what must be a new record time for him.
Well, there was no arguing the fact. I simply couldn’t wait another second, knowing that Cindy was in that room, that her creepy brother in law, who was in love with her, and a shady guy were with her. God knows what Cassidy would do to her during the time it would take Miller and a SWAT team to arrive. Also, I had to dish out some pain. Big time.
I dialed Miller’s number and informed him about Cindy’s whereabouts. He insisted, quite convincingly, that I should stay far far away from the motel and let him handle the situation. I gave my consent, quite convincingly as well, hung up and told Dickie to stay in the car, no matter what.
I packed up my taser, my pepper spray and for good measure the tire iron out of my trunk and set on my crusade to free Cindy and beat up Beaver for destroying my life with this stupid gig.
I silently approached the door of Beaver’s room and pressed my ear against the splintered wood, while trying my luck with the lock and two bobby pins. I heard Beaver’s enraged voice, berating the kidnapper about his failure in capturing Dickie. Oh, he’s so going to suffer.
I lifted the tire iron and carefully leaned over towards the doorknob, trying it ever so lightly. Not locked. Bingo. The argument going on inside would hopefully distract Beaver and his hired muscle long enough for me to stage a surprise attack. So I ripped open the door and did the one thing my dad had always taught me not to do. I barged into a room full of criminals.
Everything happened very fast then. Beaver looked dumbfounded, but he wasn’t the threat anyway. The kidnapper reacted much faster and reached into his pocket, presumably for a weapon. I smashed his wrist with the tire iron and he howled, falling to the floor, cradling his hurt hand. Beaver finally woke up and approached me, only to get a face full of pepper spray. Cindy shrieked, a sound I wasn’t aware she was capable of, and I tasered the men on the floor a couple of times for good measure (and my own satisfaction).
Suddenly, my hand was yanked away from them and the taser fell to the floor due to the vice grip on my wrist. I turned, pepper spray ready, and froze.
What the hell?
****************************************************************
I scowled at my wrist, rubbing at the angry red marks, only making them redder. How the hell does a Software firm CEO get such strength? Cindy almost casually pointed the gun at the kidnapper, who I had learned by now was named Gus, and wouldn’t stop ranting about psycho blondes who should be stopped from ever touching tire irons again. Permanently. Luckily, he respected his own gun enough to not test Cindy’s aim.
Beaver held an icepack at his ribcage, where I had tasered him, while trying to convince Gus that he was the one paying and he would decide whether or not I left this room breathing.
“Right now,” Cindy said, “I’m the one with the gun, so I make the decisions.”
“Well, then enlighten me,” I barked out. “Why exactly are we still in this room with my hand hurting like a bitch and not getting away from your kidnappers?”
Cindy’s eyes softened when she looked at me.
“I didn’t mean for things to get this far, Veronica, to drag you into this mess. But I can’t go back,” she looked at me pleadingly as if that would make me forget the hell I’ve been through, the things I’d lost, because of this ‘case’. My thoughts strayed to the little boy in my car outside and suddenly, I wasn’t so eager to organize a mother and son reunion.
“You staged this,” I accused Cindy, barely controlling my anger. “You were never kidnapped, you wanted to get away!”
“Oh please, Veronica,” Cindy snarled, all softness gone from her expression. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to get as far away from Dick Casablancas as possible.”
She spat out the name like an insult and suddenly, the puzzle pieces started to fall into place. But I had to hear from Cindy herself, I needed her to confess because a part of me couldn’t imagine that I had been so blind about her.
“Why don’t you just divorce him then?” I asked, lifting my chin stubbornly, challenging.
Cindy, no - Mac, the girl I knew since high school, laughed bitterly. “I’m not quite ready to throw away my company just yet. I’ve worked too hard to come this far to see everything taken away from me by a perpetually stoned halfwit.” Cassidy cringed, but Cindy didn’t notice.
“Last time I checked, your company was yours,” I said sarcastically, refusing to feel anything close to sympathy for Mac.
“Oh, really? Well then, you must have different sources than I do. Because the company, my work, everything I built there, belongs to Dick. I was desperate back then for a startup loan. But I had a record, I was once caught hacking into the police department to erase a ticket.” She laughed again, but I could see tears welling up in her eyes. “A fucking $20 ticket and I had shot all my chances for getting a loan from a respectable bank. When you introduced me to Dick, he was my only chance to make my dreams come true.
“At first, it was just a business arrangement and I was willing to sign everything for that chance to finally make it out of this suburban hell I had grown up in. I didn’t really think about the consequences of Dick being the silent owner and me the CEO, after all, he had provided all the money. When I asked to pay him back his loan and buy him out of my company, he refused to accept my money.
Instead, he asked me to marry him, so everything that ‘belonged to him would automatically belong to me’. Hah!” Cindy wiped her eyes furiously, while I felt the bile starting to rise in my throat. What the hell had I gotten myself into here?
“So, I did it,” Cindy continued. “I agreed to marry him so I could at least keep up the pretense that I was in charge at the company. In return, Dick made me sign a prenup. If I divorce him, the company is his.”
“Well, from what you just told me, the company in fact does belong to him,” I said.
“But I DESERVE it!” Cindy yelled at me, jumping up from her chair. She waved the gun around agitatedly and my stomach dropped to new depths.
“I was SUPPOSED to be rich! I was supposed to have everything I ever wanted and not tutor stupid rich kids to stock up my allowance money. But no, Madison Sinclair has to come and take my spot away from me,” Cindy spat and for the first time I got a glimpse at the well of hatred and frustration that had built in her for more than eight years.
So, what’s the plan? Ask him nicely to let you run away with his little brother and throw in the company for good measure?” I asked. Cindy’s lips thinned.
“We prepared a ransom demand. A public demand. He will be forced to pay even if he doesn’t want me back. It’s all about PR. Of course, he doesn’t have enough money, with all his whoring around and giving little presents to his numerous mistresses. He will be forced to sell most of his shares. And who better to buy them off than his own brother? At least this way, it stays in the family.”
I shook my head in disbelief. All this had played right under my nose and I had been so ignorant! Where was the intrepid girl detective that couldn’t be fooled by facades? Cindy noticed my expression and looked at me in a way I couldn’t interpret.
“Do you know what he called me after we married? Cinderella. It was his nickname for me. The poor ashtray girl that finally found her prince. As if I should be thankful that he was making hundreds of thousands of dollars with my developments. I’m done being Cinderella, V.”
I nodded as if in acceptance, but there was still one more thing bugging me.
“Why kidnap Dickie then? Unless, of course, you don’t plan on returning after Dick follows your ransom demand.”
“Oh, I don’t,” Cindy said, and with a start I realized the danger I was actually in, being the only one standing between Cindy and her freedom. “I plan to live off my achievements in a faraway country.”
“What about Dick? He’s the boy’s father after all,” I bit out, mostly because I had nothing else to say, not out of sympathy for Dick, who was just as sleazy as his wife.
“Oh, come on, Veronica, Dickie is a smart little boy. You don’t believe he got that from Dick, right?”
“But he looks exactly like Dick,” I exclaimed, trying to wrap my mind around what Cindy was saying.
“Actually,” Beaver chimed in, “he looks exactly like his grandmother.”
Oh God. I couldn’t help but picture Dickie’s reaction to the revelation that his creepy uncle Beaver, who had rabies, was in fact his father. Only when I lifted my good hand to cover my face did I notice that it was shaking. Everything I had learned in this motel room just left one conclusion, and no matter how hateful Cindy had become over years of not having what - in her opinion - was rightfully hers, I couldn’t believe that she would do that to me her friend.
“So, what was the plan?” I asked her. “Were you gonna let me in on the fake kidnapping before or after you snatched your son from under my nose?”
Cindy actually had the grace to look a bit ashamed. “No, the plan didn’t include on telling you.”
I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore to find that knife in my back.
“So what? I was supposed to freak out because Dickie had been taken when he was in my care? Blame myself for the rest of my life while you were living it up in some millionaire’s resort? What did you think I’d do, Mac?” I noticed with satisfaction how she cringed when I used her old nickname, reminding her that she used to be that: a Mackenzie.
“It’s not like you care so much for my son, Veronica, so don’t play this righteous card on me now. You would have dismissed this tragedy like you have every other in your life and moved on with ease.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. How the hell did she get that impression? Everything that had ever happened to me weighed me down every fucking day of my life. I wished I could go back to the girl I used to be, I wished…. Oh God.
“That’s… that’s why Logan left me,” I whispered. Cindy took a deep breath summoning up all the faux concern she could muster.
“I’m sorry, V. I really am. But you can’t blame me for that. You had this coming a long time. Now… I just need to know what you’re gonna do.”
I sighed and looked at my hands. Then, I faced the two men in the room.
“Could you leave us alone for a moment?” I asked. Both seemed reluctant to leave me with Cindy and I rolled my eyes. “Come on, she has a gun and I’m not exactly known as fighter bunny. I assume she is quite safe from me. You can go outside and pick up Dickie, he’s waiting in my car.” After a nod from Cindy they got up and left the room, Gus casting one last hateful glare at me.
“So, what’s it gonna be?” Cindy asked, impatiently.
“Well…,” I said, dragging the word long for effect. “Right now, I assume Detective Miller, who was waiting outside for the last ten minutes, is shackling up your backup. So, I guess you’d better think quickly and decide what you are gonna do now.”
Cindy blanched and gaped at me. I kept my face carefully blank, hoping that Miller had in fact brought Dickie to safety and overpowered the two kidnappers. But I was confident. I watched as Cindy’s mind worked overtime when she realized that her plan was shot to hell. Slowly, she got up and methodically wiped her prints off the gun with the bed cloth. She went to the bathroom and splashed some water in her face, then gathered her belongings and slowly walked towards the door.
The afternoon sun stood low and bathed her in an orange glow as she stood in the doorway and looked at me.
“Coming?” she asked. I took a deep breath and moved to catch up with her. We left the room together only to be gathered by cops, dragging us away from the door.
“It’s okay, let them go!” I heard Miller bark and we were released. The detective strode towards us, his face red with anger.
“Didn’t I explicitly tell you not to go into that room?” he asked and I merely shrugged. I saw as Cassidy and Gus, until now shackled and thrown on the floor, were hauled up and shoved towards a cop car.
“Thank you, thank you so much. You can’t imagine how scared I was.” I heard a teary voice and saw Cindy, crying and distressed, talking to a paramedic. Cassidy stared at her before the car door was slammed shut, hurt evident on his face. But Cindy was ignorant.
“Mommy!” A voice squealed and I watched as a blond ball of energy jumped towards Cindy and tackled her. I couldn’t watch the heart-warming scene of the reunion of mother and son. I felt I might puke otherwise.
“I knew you’d save her.” I looked down to see Dickie standing in front of me, having dragged Cindy along with him. She wouldn’t meet my eyes, out of shame or anger, I wasn’t sure.
“I promised you I would,” I answered and watched as the two were led away to an emergency van, probably so that Cindy could be checked out.
“Can I leave now?” I asked Miller when I saw him approaching. He frowned
“We still need your statement.”
“I’ll be in first thing tomorrow, promise. Right now, I just want to get home, take a shower and sleep for at least ten hours,” I said, giving him my best puppy dog impression.
He nodded, albeit reluctantly and I used the chance to take off as fast as possible before he could change his mind.
Inside my car, I picked up my laptop and checked the recording of the bug I was wearing. I rewinded for a few moments and pressed play.
”I was SUPPOSED to be rich! I was supposed to have everything I ever wanted and not tutor stupid rich kids to stock up my allowance money.” Cindy’s voice cackled out of the speakers. I shut it off and closed my eyes.
Dickie’s face appeared before my inner mind, full of joy at seeing his beloved mommy again. I opened my eyes again, took a deep breath and pressed delete. I didn’t intend to ignore my surroundings anymore, but I wasn’t going to go back to my ‘take no prisoners’ attitude. After all, I had changed. And I finally knew what I had changed into.
*************************************************************************
I leaned my forehead against my apartment door and let myself fall forward as it swung open when I unlocked it. I was weary, physically and mentally, disillusioned, friendless and alone. But I felt strangely peaceful for the first time since I had seen my best friend’s dead body.
“Veronica?” a voice asked and I was jolted out of my semi-trance. Logan appeared in the living room door, a worried expression on his face. “Are you okay?”
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to wrap my mind around this new development after a day full of mind blowing revelations, most of which were about myself.
“Dick called. The detective had informed him about the failed kidnapping attempt this morning and he told me that you’d been in a fight to save Dickie. I came as soon as I could. I tried to call, but you didn’t pick up.” Oh, yeah, I had turned off my cell to prevent interference with the bug.
“Are you okay? “ Logan asked again, and touched my arm lightly. I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.
“I will be,” I said, wiping tears of mirth from my eyes. Logan looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Maybe I had.
“I found Cindy,” I said and his eyebrows shot up. He obviously hadn’t thought me capable of that anymore. Well, join the club. “She’s a bitch.”
Logan looked positively rattled now, but I decided to keep explanations for later. Right now, we had other matters to discuss.
“I never really got over Lilly’s death, you know?” I continued conversationally. Logan could only gape at me. We never talked about Lilly. “Or, rather, I never got over everything it cost me. I felt like I was being abandoned by everyone, which was mostly the case. The investigation was all I had. I told myself that things would go back to normal as soon as Lilly’s killer was behind bars.”
“You can’t turn back time, Veronica,” Logan said, not looking at me.
“I know that. It’s just… I didn’t just lose Lilly, or my mom, or my innocence back then. I also lost myself. Everything I’d believed in was turned upside down and I was tumbling through life with nothing to hold onto. I needed that idea, that chance that I would eventually be able to piece my life back together. But then, I almost died.”
Logan flinched at the thought of me in that fridge, but he kept listening, for once.
“I almost died for a girl I hadn’t known at all, a girl who kept secrets from me, from you and who was so selfish that it eventually got her killed. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Lilly and a part of me always will, but she wasn’t a victim and I almost lost my life because she was like that. And I lost my place in life all over again. I just couldn’t go on like that anymore. The people you love let you down, so I wasn’t gonna let anyone get close again.”
Logan’s eyes softened and I knew that he understood, had probably understood for years now without saying anything.
“I pushed everyone away, my dad, Wallace… you. I just couldn’t risk to be that vulnerable again.”
“What changed?” Logan asked silently.
“Cindy betrayed me, and it hurt like hell.” I laughed again, albeit somewhat bitterly. “All the pushing away had been of no use, I’m still as vulnerable as I ever was. For nine years, I’ve been unhappy, miserable and alone. And it got me nothing at all.”
“So this is why you couldn’t be home three days in a row,” Logan said, staring into my eyes as if he was searching for something. “I thought you were running from me.”
“I was just trying to prevent myself from starting to depend on you,” I answered, looking at the floor. Suddenly, I felt his fingers on my chin, lifting my face up so I met his eyes.
“Is that why you wanted to knock me up so badly?” I asked, not being able to keep back the question that I could never find an answer to. Logan shrugged.
“Sounded like a good idea at that time. Bind you down to keep you at home for a while. Bind you to me,” he said, somewhat sheepishly.
“That’s a pretty stupid idea,” I said, right before my lips met his.
************************************************************************
Two months after Cindy’s daring rescue, I’m still struggling to figure out what is actually me and what is the fake front I put up to keep people away. But I’m getting there. I visited my father for a couple of days and I even called Wallace.
It’s still strange at times, but I haven’t felt that free in a long time and that’s exhilarating.
Logan and I still fight, a lot actually. But now it’s all fire and spite, not frustration. And the make-up sex is so worth it. We never talked about the children issue again. I guess he’s glad too that he found another way to keep me.
Cindy and I put pretty much a stop to our friendship. She returned to Dick and they still keep up their illusion of the perfect marriage. I couldn’t go on ignoring what I knew and participate in their game, so, I’m staying away from them. Logan’s still at Dick’s side, though, and sometimes he brings our godson over and we spend the day together. That’s about all the mushy family time I can stomach, but it’s good to see that Dickie is happy and blissfully ignorant of his parents’ true characters. Yet.
The cynical part of me can picture the next years and how things will change in Casa Casablancas, but this is Dickie’s journey and it’s not my place to take this away from him. He wouldn’t forgive me anyway.
So, I’m taking a similar journey, day to day, without much of a clue where it will take me. Logan once asked whether I now knew who I was. I grinned and told him I was a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and… a queen. He laughed and said that that’s life. I guess he was on to something there.
In the end, I think it was worth it. I spent so much time and energy trying to find Cindy, stumbling over potholes and secrets and lies, but in the end, I only found myself.
A/N2: I changed a lot from my original plan in order to finish the story faster. So maybe Veronica's epiphany is a bit rushed. Still, the actual ending remained the same (that last line was actually the beginning of the fic). Those of you who read more of my stories might know that I prefer hopeful over happy endings, and this is what I was also aiming at with 'Going down'. After all, life's a bitch until you die.